Post # 1
My Maid/Matron of Honor, aunt & mom are throwing me a bridal shower in my hometown (which is about 5-6 hours from where I live). This morning I was talking to my mom and she suggested we could have a mini-bachelorette party the same night as the bridal shower. Of course I want to invite friends from home who probably wouldn’t travel the 5-6 hours just to come to a bachelorette party in the city where I live. We think this would be an good chance to celebrate with people who likely wouldn’t come due to distance.
My friend is planning a bachelorette party in the city where I live a little closer to the wedding. In my mind, I’m thinking “this is great, I can invite friends from my hometown to one and friends from the city where I live to the second one”.
Do you think this is rude to plan a party knowing that a friend is throwing me one later in the summer? I know that my Maid/Matron of Honor would feel obligated to go to both, but I really don’t want her to feel like she has to travel to the second one. How can I approach that with her, and let her know my feelings?
Lastly, we have one girl in the wedding who is under 21 – have any of you ever run into this before? Where there is one person underage and you’ll be going out? Also, the girl under 21 is incredibly busy with college, going year round, and working so I don’t think she would honestly have the time to attend…also don’t want her to feel obligated.
I love advice or tips on how to approach things like this! THANK YOU in advance, happy Friday! 🙂
Post # 3
I say do both! If people are explained the situation there shouldn’t be any hurt feelings!
Post # 4
For the under 21-situation, I’d see if you can do something fun before going out, like a spa-day or going out to dinner, something that she can be included in and then when it comes to going to a club or something, she can opt-out, but at least she gets to be part of the day.
As far as the dual-party thing, I’d just go with it. This sounds more like just going out with your mom or people that are closer to one area than the other. I’m sure they’ll have different tones anyway. Tell your Maid/Matron of Honor of that she doesn’t have to come to the one with your Mom, that she just wanted to be able to take you out while you were there. I wouldn’t play it up as “another” bach party, I’d just say it’s a chance to go out with her while you’re there, since she can’t make it to the “real” one. Again, I’m sure they’ll be very different.
Post # 5
This is really good advice! My mom is probably relocating before the bachelorette party later this summer takes place so that’s another reason…I really wanted to do something and ensure my mom could be there!
So you don’t think it’s rude to plan on going to bars when you know someone under 21 can’t go?(I’m honestly not even sure if this girl is planning to come to my shower which would be earlier the same day, she hasn’t RSVP’ed yet. It’s a family-friend from FI’s side, and she doesn’t live in my hometown either).
I feel like my Maid/Matron of Honor might feel obligated to come to both and I want to avoid those feelings of “having to do something” at all costs! No one has fun when they feel pressured into something, right?!
Post # 6
It sounds like a great plan and why not have two parties if different people are involved?
As for your Maid/Matron of Honor. She is your Maid/Matron of Honor because you two are really close right? Why can’t you have a frank conversation about it and address it directly rather than treat it with kid gloves? If it were my Maid/Matron of Honor, I would have just told her flat out that a party was being planned in my hometown for friends that lived there and I would love it if she came, but understand that she may not be able/want to and I look forward to partying it up at her party.