Post # 1
I’m currently planning a shower for my Future Sister-In-Law with her other bridesmaids. It’s one big shower with both his and her families as well as friends, etc. The guest list is like 50 women…the problem is that that list doesn’t include my mom. That typically wouldn’t be a problem and it’s not my shower so it’s not up to me but my mom has met my Future Sister-In-Law several times and we’ve even taken some day trips together as well as my mom has helped her get some shadowing opportunities at the hospital where she works. My mom has already purchased the shower gift not knowing she isn’t on the list. When my Future Mother-In-Law gave me the list she said that she wasn’t sure my mom needed to be invited because when I have my shower she wouldn’t invite FSIL’s Mother-In-Law. The difference is that I’ve only met her Mother-In-Law once or twice and only at big family lunches. I’m not sure if my explanation here is making any sense but I’m not sure what I should do…just break it to mom and hurt or feelings or see about adding her to the list. Oh…and my mom is also helping the day of the wedding by picking up the flowers and shuttling them to the venue which is in a small town 20 minutes away. Not a big deal but still something she’s doing.
Post # 3
I think if your mom is helping with the wedding it’s very rude not to invite her. If you’re hosting, invite her. If not, tell Future Sister-In-Law she needs to add her to the list. Seems like a pretty important person to be left off the list!!
Post # 4
hmm. is there any way you can tell the brides family that it would mean a lot to your mother to be able to attend the shower and that she might be very hurt to be excluded?
it seems really odd to not include the Mother-In-Law for whatever reason. ESPECIALLY if she doesn’t know everyone that well – it would be a good chance for her to become more familiar with her sons new family.
i think in this case, if you can gently mention it to someone, that would be the way to go. it seems very very odd to me that at a party of 50+ people, the mother of the groom wouldnt be invited.
Post # 5
Did you speak up and tell her that you think it would be nice if your mom was invited. I feel like having an extra body, not to be rude about your mom, at the bridal shower wouldn’t be a big deal, especially if she’s helping out with wedding related stuff. I would let her know that it would be nice for your mom to be invited and it would mean a lot to both of you, and see her reaction. If she’s not OK with it, I don’t know what to say. I really can’t imagine why not, other than the whole you’re not inviting her mom, malicious business.
Post # 6
@mayeast06: It’s not the mother of the groom, it’y MY mom. Sorry for the confusion.
The justification for not inviting my mom was that when we have my shower my FSIL’s mother in law won’t be coming so why should my mom being going to hers. I guess…I’m not really sure. I didn’t really say a whole lot when we were talking about it because I didn’t want to seem rude or pushy and it wouldn’t bother me THAT much except my mom is really kind of looking forward to the shower and has asked me several times when it is so she can mark the date. I think I might have my Fiance talk to his mom and sister and just casually mention that my mom has already purchased a gift was was planning on coming. Oh…and all of the other bridesmaid’s mom are included but I guess that might because they’ve been friends since they were little…maybe it’s different since I’m marrying her brother?
I’m just trying to not seem pushy but still incldue my mom.
Post # 7
I think when it comes down to most issues, communication is key . . . tell her that it would mean a lot to your mom. You can communicate without seeming pushy, especially if you’re doing the planning. Just try and see what comes of it.