(Closed) What to expect in first meeting with the priest?

posted 7 years ago in Catholic
Post # 3
3374 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

My priest asks us about ourselves, our family backgrounds, how we met, if we’re living together, if we want kids, and about our spirtual background.

It’s pretty easy and most want to like you and aren’t going to drill you for information.

Later on, you’ll have a meeting to go over the ceremony words, readings and hymns.

Post # 4
489 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

During our first meeting, the priest just talked to us about the same things that pinkmagnolia stated. He also gave us one of those personality quizzes that we needed to fill out honestly, which we would take to him the next meeting and that would let us know about our personalities and what problems could arise. don’t worry, it’s not painful.

Post # 4
1160 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

Don’t stress! It sounds like it’s just going to be a meet-and-greet. There may be a form they want you to fill out, but it’s just your names and whether you have been married before/are related. It is very, very unlikely that your priest will deny you because you live together. In some rare circumstances a priest or diocese will make this policy for themselves, but I’ve never experienced it (and I’ve known LOTS of cohabiting couples, including myself and Darling Husband, and most of these live in one of the most conservative diocese in the US). Contrary to popular belief, the Catholic Church does NOT deny marriage because of cohabitation. Other bees can back this up with sources but the thinking is–marriage “solves” the problem of cohabitation as the Church sees it, so the idea is to encourage marriage, not deny it. Does that make sense? I hope so.

ETA: Oh yea, duh, your original question. You’ll probably talk a little bit about the ceremony, you might get the FOCCUS quiz (we didn’t), he may talk about your faith a little bit like PPs said.

Post # 5
635 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Our first meeting was really short. We just went over the paperwork, got our witness statements to mail to our parents, talked about requirements (i.e., FOCCUS test, Pre-Cana, family planning, etc.)

Our second meeting we took the FOCCUS. They let us take it together and said we could ask each other for clarification of the questions. Some are a bit cryptic.

Our third meeting we discussed the FOCCUS. We’ve always been 100% up front about living together, and even mentioned it in the conversation. The priest never even commented on it. I would just be up front. The priest might ask if you will abstain until the wedding. Make sure you and your fiance are on the same page about this.

We’re meeting again after Pre-Cana. The actual ceremony is out of state, so we have to meet with that priest to discuss over the actual ceremony planning.


Post # 7
753 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

My situation is a little different.  I went to a Catholic college run by Benedictine monks, and that is where we are getting married.  We first met with the monk who runs all the marriage stuff at the college (not the actual monk that will be marrying us).  We took the FOCCUS test.

Since the monk marrying us knows my Fiance and I fairly well our first meeting with him was fairly informal.  We went over the FOCCUS test results, and went over any questions that Fiance and I disagreed on.  Honestly, it was not that big of a deal.

The priest marrying us obviously doesn’t love that we live together, but he didn’t make a big deal out of it at all.  It was actually kind of funny when it came up.  He was discussing with Fiance and I different things that we do apart from each other (just so we don’t spend all of our time together and have interests outside of our marriage/relationship), and Fiance was talking about how I have a younger sister with Down Syndrome that I am very close to, so I will sometimes go spend the night with her and my parents.  Fiance then said “of course I miss her…” and the priest said “well you shouldn’t be missing her now should you?! But that’s the last thing I’ll say about that subject!” Haha…

Don’t stress, I’m sure that it will be fine! 🙂

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