Post # 1
I’m trying to decide if I’m being overly sensitive here. I am feeling really bummed out about a tray of lemon meringue tarts! I know, I feel like a psycho.
So I have a single friend who has been through some tough relationships and is currently unattached. I had a feeling it would be a bit rocky when I announced my engagement, and I think I’m sensing some distance – maybe?
We had a pot luck get-together with a bunch of friends last night. I made what I thought was quite a jazzy little tray of lemon tarts. When I gave them to her she stuck them in a corner and never opened the container. Whatever, there was already a lot of food out. No biggie.
Then it’s time to leave, and I’m feeling a bit sheepish at being the dud of the pot-luck, because none of my food has been eaten. So I make a comment about how I hope she’ll enjoy the treats later in the week, and she makes a fuss about how I really need to get them out of there because she won’t eat them. Not “oh no, I’m on a diet” or anything. Just ‘make sure you take that stuff with you.’
Then when I’m getting up to leave, again, it’s “Make sure you get that food out of here Rose, because I won’t eat it.”
Do you think she’s mad at me? Or am I reading too much into this? Is this passive aggressiveness or did she not realize she was being overly blunt?
Post # 3
That would have definitely hurt my feelings. But i can see how in some circumstances she might not have meant/been aware of how she was coming off. Some people are just kind of clueless.
Post # 4
… if she’s been acting like this only since you got engaged, it’s possible. It’s also possible that she REALLY didn’t want it around. I leave baked goods at work all the time because I don’t want to eat them, but I don’t want to make a big deal of the fact that I started WW again.
Post # 5
I think its passive agressive imo. I mean, if she didn’t want to keep them in the house, than why not put them out for others to eat? Usually I am one to let things roll off my back. But at this, I don’t think I would’ve. I mean you worked hard on those lemon tarts, I would’ve walked over to where she put the container and announced loudly “oh you forgot mine! I will just put there here” and make space.
I’d call her out and ask her about it. If she didn’t mean anything by it, then she needs to check herself and realize that she was being rude and hurtful and that is unacceptable. If she is jealous, then she needs to put on her big girl pants and get over it.
If I were you, I just wouldn’t mention anything about the engagement or wedding in her presence.
If this happen to me, I probably would’ve smashed a tart in her face after the 2nd time she told me to take the tarts LOL!
Post # 6
Sounds like she might have a bit of an issue with the engagment but that doesn’t mean she has to be rude to you – especially if she’s not going to be mature and actually talk about it with you. I’d be upset about it if I was treated like that.
Post # 7
the only way you’ll know for sure is if you talk to her….don’t make any assumptions…express your feelings in a non-accusing manner….and get her feedback on it.
Post # 8
I honestly think she may be having a bad day or something like that. Seriously, not all non-engaged women are jealous of us being engaged or anything like that. I wasn’t jealous of my engaged or married friends when I was unattached.
Maybe it was pms or a bad day or she’s really upset over maybe blowing her diet over the holidays.
I wouldn’t read too much into it unless this becomes a pattern of sorts of her behavior and then I’d talk to her about it and work thru it.