(Closed) What to pay my boyfriend in rent?

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 16
Member
1399 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Paying rent to a landlord is paying their mortgage/building their equity too, so I dont think it’s as big of a deal as you’re making it out to be. 

Either you want to live there or you don’t. Seems pretty cut and dried to me. 

Post # 17
Member
316 posts
Helper bee

I moved in with my boyfriend who owned his home. He told me before moving in that he doesn’t want it to be a “rent” style of living, especially since my name isn’t on the house and I’d gain no credit score perks like if I was renting. He pays the mortgage, as well as the utilities and cable (We have a well/septic/and free trash, so he only pays electric). I buy all the groceries and pay for anything related to the pets, plus do most of the cooking. In the end, the money equals out to me actually paying a little more than half of what he does.

Post # 18
Member
310 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

I think paying all the utilities is fair.  YOU are taking all the risk with this move.  If you guys break up, he’ll still have his house, job and exwife and kids closeby.  

Post # 19
Member
141 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

View original reply
genabee:  either pay half or get your own place. He’s not making you move so if you’ve chosen to do that then it should come with paying you way and to make that fair, it’s half.

Personally I can’t see how it could be fair any other way but I’m sure you’ll find something that works for you both

Post # 20
Member
239 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

I would pay half and keep track of exactly how much you pay each month so that in the future if you decide to get married and it goes sour you could have a claim to the house even if he doesnn’t put your name on the mortgage. Be sure to cut him a check so you have a paper trail. It could not hurt to have proof of everything you are paying for, be specific about the chek i.e. write down exactly what its for house payment, mortgage payet, utilities.

Post # 21
Member
286 posts
Helper bee

When I lived with my boyfriend in his house, I paid the utilities and cut him a check for about 300$ which was about what I would have ended up paying to rent a room.  He didn’t ask me to, but I wanted to help, plus my income was higher than his, and I couldn’t see living somewhere and not contributing.  In the end it worked out for both of us, we were both able to save a nice chunk of change and use it towards a deposit on a home that we purchased together two years later.

Post # 22
Member
173 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: Breckenridge, CO

I don’t agree with paying market value because you’d probably have a lot more freedom if you lived elsewhere 

with a roommate you’d presumably have your own bedroom and could leave without someone asking where you were going etc right?  What price do you put on that? 

 

Post # 23
Member
215 posts
Helper bee

Rent is not rent here.  If you rented from a third party, you would be paying the market rate.  They would earn income from the rent, and get the resulting tax benefits as a landlord/investor.

Here, if you pay exactly 50% of everything, your bf gets 100% of the tax advantage of the mortgage interest deduction, possible deduction for PMI, and builds credit.  Because of the tax benefit, you would end up paying more than 50% of the costs.  Additionally, how is his credit?  You are also subsiziding him to the extent his credit score was low and he has a higher interest mortgage.  Also, the monthly amount may include homeowners insurance, which you would have no right to, and would likely have to get renters insurance on top of that.  Would he split that cost?

Can you sit down and discuss the different components of monthly expenses?  You could pay 50% of the mortgage, but not interest or homeowners?  Or, you have a contract that you are building equity in his house, only to the extent of the monthly mortgage payment, which is likely really low?

Post # 24
Member
2076 posts
Buzzing bee

View original reply
pinkshoes:  100% agree.  Especially your ETA part.  

Post # 25
Member
555 posts
Busy bee

If he BOUGHT the house I wouldn’t offer to pay anything. If you guys wanna get married some day, he shouldnt charge you anything. I’d pay 50% for the utilities and would offer to contribute in case there needs to be something done in the house or so. If he were renting I’d say pay 50%, but not in this case.

Post # 26
Member
6943 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2016

I moved into my FI’s house almost 3 years ago. Honestly…I hate the house. It’s tiny and ugly and has no room to grow at all. Plus, it’s in a really expensive neighborhood so the taxes are utterly ridiculous! He knows this and knew it before I even moved in. He doesn’t actually like the house either. He was young and impulsive when he bought it and wasn’t thinking of the long term. Anywayyyyyy….

Before I moved in we talked about rent. We both agreed that since I did not pick the house myself and had no part of that decision, that it wouldn’t be fair for me to pay for half the mortage. However, I wasn’t going to NOT pay any rent. So we decided I’d pay about 35% and Fiance would pay for the rest. Plus I obviously kick in for half the utilities. It works for us. We both know that when we move and buy the next house (which should hopefully be in a year or so, fingers crossed!) that we will then be splitting it 50/50. 

ETA: I can’t believe all these people advocating not paying any rent at all just because your name isn’t on the mortgage. Even if I moved back home with my parents I’d still pay rent. What am I going to do? Tell Mom and Dad: thanks for totalling helping me out by letting me move in here but I’m not giving you any money because the mortgage is in your name so it doesn’t help/benefit me at all? That’s crazy!

  • This reply was modified 4 years, 9 months ago by  llevinso.
Post # 27
Member
927 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

View original reply
genabee:  Hello bee I think this is a good question! But this is a conversation you need to discuss with him because his opinions feelings may be different. I live with my SO i pay for groceries which could add up quick since he eats like a bear! LOL! and i give him 30% of the rent and he is completely fine with it.

He made those arrangements with me and he is happy for take care most of the household. We have a 70/30 system and we are doing this to prepare for a future child because i will have to take off of work for a year or 2 when we do decide to have a baby. Everything is going fine and doesn’t expect a lot from me and I never pressured him to have it this way.

My guy is a bit old fashioned but I still help him out in anyway that i can. I dont think you should be doing things 50/50 in my honest opinion your name isn’t on the house maybe offer a few hundred?  I grew up seeing my mother being taken care of by my father and she helped with things here and there and that’s how i was brought up. I hope this helps bee! I hope you talk to your boyfriend and sort this out! 🙂 

Post # 28
Member
322 posts
Helper bee

This is the way I look at it – If you don’t move in with him, then he has to pay 100% of his mortgage and you’ll have to pay market value for an apartment. 

I think in this situation, you should offer to pay a rent that is slightly below market value. He gets help with his mortgage and you get a break on rent. Win win.

ETA: I have a large family and when sibling X bought a car after college, sibling Y lent her the money to pay it in full. Sibling X paid an interest rate to sibling Y that was below the interestrate a bank would offer, but above what sibling Y would have gotten in a savings account. Win Win.

Post # 29
Member
1701 posts
Bumble bee

I am floored by how many people think she either shouldn’t pay rent, or pay reduced rent…

When people rent properties (to the general public), do you think you aren’t paying their mortgage, taxes AND profit?!? Why would someone rent a property if they weren’t GAINING anything from it?!

 

Post # 30
Member
385 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

Did he pay to move his ex wife and kids? Are you sure their divorce in final? It sounds a bit odd she would pick up her whole life, move her kids, job, housing etc to continue to follow him due to his career.

I ask this because a former “army wife” the army gives allowances for housing, food, PSCing etc. Especially when you are moving a family. 

 

No judgement honestly. I’m just curious. 

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