Post # 1
Member
823 posts
Busy bee
Hey bees!
i am trying to figure out what amount to give to our officiant as payment. He has said he doesn’t expect anything, and he is also a family friend and will be a guest at the reception with his wife. I can’t not give him anything, but I have no idea what amount is typical. $100, 300, 500…? I am okay with paying whatever he should get and deserves, I just don’t want to guess and completely under pay him without knowing any better.
any advice would be appreciated!
Edit: he is also an active pastor at a church and does regularly do weddings and would typically receive payment, so I don’t want to not pay him anything just because he’s a friend.
Post # 3
Member
260 posts
Helper bee
I am also curious! My great uncle will be our officiant and has said he doesn’t want anything, but I’d feel bad if he didn’t get anything!
Post # 4
Member
1720 posts
Bumble bee
Our officiant wouldn’t accept money. Instead, he wanted us to donate to the charity of our choosing in his name. So we donated $250 to big brothers, big sisters.
Post # 6
Member
3420 posts
Sugar bee
- Wedding: September 2014 - Manhattan Church Rec Center
My officiant is a close friend of mine. I let it slip that I wanted to pay her but she refuses…so in her thank you card I am going to give her $150 visa card and maybe a nice gift…like a homemade candle or bathbomb.
Post # 7
Member
307 posts
Helper bee
I’m paying ‘mates rates’ to mine, which is just her deposit of $150 (this is in Australia). And I’ll get her a nice bottle of wine or two as well.
Post # 8
Member
404 posts
Helper bee
I have no idea, but maybe ask him how much he’d usually charge? Or ask if there’s a charity he’d like you guys to donate to instead?
Post # 9
Member
757 posts
Busy bee
Our officiant is the same way. We are covering his hotel room for the two nights and I also offered to cover his mileage to the wedding since its about a 3 hour drive for him. Otherwise I was thinking about donating to the parish or the charity of his choice.
Post # 10
Member
7900 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
- Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort
You should give a donation to the church. Anything is fine. I’d personally probably give $500 if it was in my budget.
At least for my pastor (who married me off site) and the one who married me for my first wedding (who was at a different church we didn’t belong to… just one we randomly chose and was available), the pastor does not get paid for the wedding. It’s part of his normal duties. What we paid (over $1000 for that first wedding, open donation for the second) went to the church (and in the first case, the organist and site manager who had to come in on days they normally don’t work).
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