- 7 years ago
- Wedding: September 2012
OK, so before I begin, I will state a little disclaimer that I know that there is no tactful way to dismiss a bridesmaid. I also am aware that etiquette eise, once I have asked her, I should keep her and not go back on my word.
However, I find myself in a situation where I need to let a bridesmaid know that I no longer want her in my wedding. Our friendship has gone down hill in the past 6 months, and before drama occured we were friends for about a year and a half.
First of all, there was drama when I first asked her to be a bridesmaid. I was waiting to see her in person, since I didn’t want to ask via text or facebook. In the mean time, I had asked my sister and my best friend of 15 years. 4 days later I saw this friend (We’ll call her “Jen”) at a jewelry party I was hosting, and hadn’t had a chance to ask her yet when my BFF mentioned being a bridesmaid to me. Well, Jen immediately within 30 seconds got up and stormed out in anger. I finally got a hold of her and met up with her the following day. She was 45 minutes late to meet me, then when I explained that I wanted to ask her in person, apologized for any miscommunications, and asked her to be a bridesmaid, she said “Well this was interesting. I have to go now, bye” She literally gave me less than 2 minutes of her time (after making me wait 45 minutesfor her to arrive!)
In the mean time, one of my other BM’s who I am better friends with, is rooming with her at college. She has told me that Jen has made comments such as “I don’t know if I want to go to her crappy and cheap wedding anyway”.
Also, I know for a fact (because she has told me) that Jen and her oyfriend look at weddings as an excuse to get wasted. And when they drink, hey become embarassing and akward to be around. Her Boyfriend or Best Friend, while drunk, once suggested a foursome, which made things very akward for a while. I also know that when her boyfriends sister got married last year, Jen got kicked out of that bridal party as well for talking so much shit about the bride and for causing drama.
I don’t want her in my wedding (and probably not even at it either!) anymore. She is very unsupportive, and a drama magnet. I am thinking bout texting her, since I know that our friendship will probably be over (and I don’t care) whether I call, email or text.
Any suggestions for ways to tell her?