(Closed) What to say to friend after a loss?

posted 7 years ago in Babies
Post # 3
9824 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Just say that you’re so sorry and that you’re here for whatever she needs, even if it’s just someone to talk to. 

Definitely don’t say anything like “The baby wasn’t meant to be” or “You can have another baby soon” people often say things like that trying to be helpful but it makes it so much worse. A lady I talked to on another parenting forum lost a baby and everyone was giving her the “Too beautiful for earth” poem. While it probably definitely comforts some people, it just made her angry. I talked to her in the days after her loss and she kept saying “This baby was meant to be with us.”

Post # 4
1109 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I agree, treat it like a loss of a child and not the loss of a pregnancy. I think simplicity is best in this case, that she’s in your thoughts and prayers during her time of loss, you’re here for her if she needs anything… generic is good in this case IMO. She just needs to know you’re thinking of her, that’s what’s important now. Poor thing 🙁

Post # 5
4046 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Moja Milosc: I completely agree! just something simple about your thoughts/prayers being with her is perfect. anything else could be taken the wrong way.

Post # 6
6825 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I agree with the PP, friends of my Darling Husband lost their daughter stillborn a few days before I gave birth to my son.  Just keep it simple and let her know you are there for her

Post # 7
927 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I agree, just keep it simple. the advice I have been given a lot is not to say “I understand how you’re feeling”, “I know what you’re going through” etc. since you (hopefully) haven’t been through what she’s going through. Good luck. It is thoughtful of you to send a card.

Post # 8
213 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Maybe say something along the lines of “I’m here for support”

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