Post # 1
We used the Simplifiers in Austin TX who charged us $5K+ for wedding planning. The person assigned to me was HORRIBLE… just horrible… would not return calls or emails until prompted multiple times or unless I copied her boss. She sent the final budget over (I had asked her to take care of tipping for me) and I saw that the tip for her company The Simplifiers was put in at 15%, which came out to around $850. I feel very uneasy about this! I do not feel like she earned this tip, but there were some extra employees there on the day of the wedding. I’m at a loss for what to do. I don’t want to be rude, but I do not feel that she earned 15% of the huge amount of money we’re paying her company!
What to do? I married a waiter, so I’m very sensitive about under-tipping!
If I ask for some of that money back, how can I possibly do this tactfully?
Post # 3
Oh I should add that the actual owner of this company is wonderful. It’s just the planner who was assigned to me who was a nightmare to work with.
Post # 4
- Wedding: September 2014 - Turf Valley
Can you ask her to remove tipping from the final budget, so that you may handle tipping personally? That way you can give her whatever you feel you owe her. I think it’s kind of tasteless for her to apply a tip for herself. But I suppose that’s what creating a budget is about… It just rubs me the wrong way.
If she was this horrible I would not pay her an $850 tip. I would pay her what I felt she earned, and it sounds like it shouldn’t be much!
EDIT: Oh and By The Way -just because she budgeted 15% for her tip doesn’t mean you are obligated to give her that 15% 😉
Post # 5
Have you spoken about this matter to the owner of the company? Is the 15% a company wide number or do the planners get to choose a number?
Post # 6
Unless the tip was stipulated in the contract, I would remove it. I don’t think wedding planners need to be tipped a percentage. Maybe a couple of hundred dollars for a job well done, but it’s not compulsory.
Post # 7
You definitely don’t need to tip that much! Tipping under will send her the message that you saw what she thought was fair, but you blantantly disagreed.
Post # 8
I would call and discuss the issue with the company directly. If you feel that there were others she worked with that deserved a good tip but want to decrease her tip I would see if they can suggest a way to go about that.
I was a server at a high end restaurant for three years and I am also very sensitive to tipping. However, I was good at my job and worked hard to earn those tips. I do not believe in giving outrageous tips to those that don’t even do their job to an adequate level.
Post # 9
@dvillecreek: a tip should be at your discretion based on the service you received. We actually didn’t tip out planner anything, but had her and her husband at our reception dinner. On Maui planners tend to inflate prices on all vendor costs, which is what I felt she did- kind of likes built in tip for herself.
Post # 10
thanks for the advice everyone! i ended up emailing her back and telling her that i would prefer to give $150 as her tip, and asked her to rework the budget accordingly. i did not provide an explanation, because i felt very controversial bringing it up.
she wrote back saying “absolutely,” but vaguely mentioned that the tip would also be going to the two attendants who were with her that day as well, and that 15% was the industry standard and that was why she had the tip at $850.
i did not respond and she wrote back a couple of days later saying that the leftover budget amount was on its way back to me.
i wrote back saying thanks and that i would like to discuss the wedding etc sometime soon with her.
now i’m terrified because i dont want to come across as a bitch, but there are so many things i did NOT like about her service; i dont know how to lay all this out for her without sounding like i am attacking her.
i’m sure she’s a nice girl, but working with her over the past year and a half has been horrible.
should all this be in an email? or should it be a phone call? oh dear, it’s hard being a grown-up.
Post # 11
@dvillecreek: in my opinion, when you are unhappy with anything or may potentially need some proof of something later on, it’s always best to at least put it down in writing and give them the option to follow-up either by e-mail or phone call. that way, if it is at least in writing (as well as previous communiciatons to show the delays or issues that you are unhappy about) there is more validity to claims and such and it does not turn into a she-said, she-said debacle. good luck!
Post # 12
@dvillecreek: I think whatever form of communication you think you can be most expressive and articulate in is best. For a lot of people, this is email/written because they have time to think about what they’re saying and rework it as needed.
Think of it this way– you don’t want to come across as a bitch but you also probably don’t want anyone else to go through the experience you did. Five thousand dollars is a LOT of money and, if you’re financially able to include one, hiring a wedding planner is supposed to make everything MUCH easier. If this was not the case for you, don’t let someone else waste their money. It’s actually a nice gesture to be honest– both towards the girl herself in her career as well as towards any future clients of the company. And, additionally, it is being considerate to the owner of the company as well as he might lose business in the future.
I might even suggest writing up a bulleted list of the things you were not happy with. Maybe write what your expectation of teh wedding planner was in GENERAL (aka why you hired one), where they fell short, and how they could have done things differently. You can break it down like this:
1. I hired a wedding planner as an assitant to help me plan my wedding. I expected the wedding planner to make calls on my behalf and keep me informed of the results. The way this wedding planner fell short of this particular expectation is that, not only did she not make these calls for me and report back, she also was difficult to get a hold of. I ended up feeling like I had to mico manage/supervise her instead.
This way, they can read exactly what you expected for each element of your wedding planning process, how her performance was lackluster, and what could have been done different. This approach is a way to specifically address things without feeling like you’re personally attackign her or being a bitch. You’re also offering them insight into what a bride expects– which is different for each bride but that’s the point of a planner. She is supposed to figure out what your personal expectations are.
Hope this helps!
Post # 13
It really depends on the job and how well she does the job!