(Closed) What traditions are you skipping? Which are most important?

posted 4 years ago in Traditions
Post # 16
45 posts
  • Wedding: May 2017



  • Not seeing each other before walking down the aisle (doing all our photos beforehand)
  • Sleeping together the night before (we live together)
  • Speeches (no one wants to give them or hear them)
  • Bouquet/Garter toss
  • Veil
  • Traditional Vows/Ceremony (I am writing the whole ceremony and we are each writing our vows)
  • Matching bridesmaid dresses
  • Maid of Honor and Best Man (We just have bridesmaids and groomsmen, I hate choosing between friends)
  • Father walking down the aisle (me and my Fiance will walk down the aisle together)
  • Father/Daughter Dance
  • Walking down to the traditional march (we are walking down to Chasing Cars)
  • Guests seated on either “bride’s side” or “groom’s side” (anyone can sit wherever, the close family will be seated on the “opposite” side so my family can see my face, and his can see his face)
  • Getting married in a church (we are getting married outside in a Zoo)
  • Wearing white (I am wearing Nude/gold)
  • Receiving line


  • Flower girl (FI’s cousin insisted that his daughter be the flower girl)
  • First Dance (but it is going to be very short, < half a song and then others can join)
  • Guest Book (It is going to be a globe, I just want some keepsake with people I love most’s signatures)
  • Champagne toast (It is included with venue)


Post # 18
431 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2017 - Country Cottage and Gardens

We’re also skipping the bouquet toss, largely because it’s mostly extended family as guests with few single people. It’s also just awkward. Since so many guests will be older, I’m stealing the idea that another bee mentioned: we’re going to have the DJ run a dance where you eliminate couples based on how long they’ve been together and the one who has been together the longest gets to share a dance. 

We’re also skipping: champagne toast, flower girl, ring bearer (we really wanted our dog but we’re getting married next to a lake and he loves to swim. I can just imagine how that would go down), even wedding party, and we’re doing a first look. 

We’re keeping the something borrowed (etc.), the guest book (but replacing it with a “bucket list” of suggested travel spots or date night ideas), cake cutting, first dance, favors, and my dad is walking me down the aisle. We’re also planting a perennial flower (maybe peonies?) in place of a unity candle. 

Post # 20
2141 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

View original reply
trishk82 :  wow american weddings are so diffrent a 7pm reception seems crazy, here in england a receptions usually has been going for atleast 5 hours by 7pm and should have at least 3 more to go lol



  • being given away (im not property)
  • top table (my family a bridesmaids can sit and eat with their loved ones)
  • speeches (no one enjoys preparing a presentation and public speaking)
  • bouquet/garter toss (I dont think these are actually ‘real’… ive never seen one)
  • being carried or jumping the broom (wierd and does not link to our lives)
  • sixpence in the shoe (how horribly uncomfortable lol)
  • veil (serves no modern purpose)
  • no flower girls/ring bearer (children + wedding = trouble lol)
  • no flowers except the bouquet (lots of dying things dont make me think wedding)
  • no toasts (not having speeches so no point)
  • wedding march (having a acoustic band istead)
  • confetti (messy)
  • wedding cars (we have cars already, dont need to fancier ones)
  • a photographer (dont need one)
  • not sitting couples together (I find this very rude, whats the point of it)
  • tin cans/boots on cars (why? whats the point)
  • bottom draw (I actually love this but its a dead tradition so my mom didnt do it)


  • church wedding
  • not seeing the groom before the wedding
  • wedding party (matching)
  • tradition/historical vows
  • favors
  • cake cutting (NO smushing)
  • first dance
  • sit down meal

not sure about:

  • parent dances
  • old, new, borrowed, blue
Post # 23
1657 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2017


White dress


Dad walking down aisle

Father/daughter dance

First dance

Something old, new, borrowed, blue

Not seeing groom prior


Cake cutting

Traditional Vows



Traditional stationary like programs etc


We are skipping:

Having a bridal party – not even MOHs

Bouquet/garter toss

No flower girl, ring bearer etc


Post # 24
1602 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

View original reply
samjam :  not tacky at all. A very easy way to save money. Many people don’t even like champagne. People can toast with whatever drinks they have. 

Post # 25
568 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

View original reply
btob17 :  Yes, North American weddings are WAAAAAAY diffrent. I’m a UK girl, but getting married in Canada and so much is different here…. OPEN BAR??? In Scotland that would be financial suicide!!!! 


  • White/Ivory dress
  • Bridesmaids in matching dresses 
  • Speeches! (honest to goodness, our favourite part of any wedding!) 
  • First dance 
  • Hora (FI is Jewish) 
  • Breaking the glass (Jewish tradition) 
  • Saturday – typically Jewish weddings are on Sunday
  • Favours – because my Mum is coming from UK and insisted on bringing them
  • Top table with whole wedding party 
  • Guest book for people to sign 


  • Garter and bouquet toss
  • Dad giving me away 
  • Parent dances 
  • Not seeing each other pre-ceremony (with regret, but timing doesn’t allow any other way)
  • Any religious aspects 
  • Veil (most likely, don’t see any point in hiding my face) 
  • Wedding cake – we already have desert AND mini pastries AND a midnight buffet
  • Something old, new, borrowed, blue 
  • Flower girl and ring bearer (and all kids other than breastfeeding infants) 
  • Gendered roles – I have a man in my bridal party, and Fiance has two women in his grooms party 
Post # 27
575 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

We skipped:

White dress
First look
Garter/Bouquet toss
Parent/Bride/groom dances
Saving the top tier
Best Man- DH had a best woman instead
Flower girl/Page boy
Confetti- bubbles instead
Guest book- we signed a monopoly board 

We kept

Cake cutting
First dance
Speeches- DH, Dad and Best woman
Flowers & favors
Something old- veil, something new- dress, something borrowed- earrings, something blue – toenails
Dad walking me up the aisle
Traditional Christian vows

Post # 28
1010 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

I’m still at the beginning of planning but so far I’m definitely skipping the bouquet/garter toss. The only people I’ve ever seen say they enjoy it are on the bee.  I’ve yet to find anyone irl who looks forward to this. I’m also not having cake but pie instead. 

Post # 29
1011 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2017


Church wedding with religious vows

Seeing groom at altar

Drinks reception followed by sit down meal in a hotel

Arranged seating plan at dinner due to family politics, otherwise I’d just let people pick their own seats

live band (very common where I live)

bridesmaids/groomsmen only


wearing white/veil

being walked down the aisle/given away

flowers/decor other than what hotel provides as standard


top table

dances inc first dance


bouquet/garter toss

something old/new



Overall Fiance and I are very low key and want a simple/easy day that requires very little effort on our part to plan/buy/DYI. Partly to save money, partly due to extreme laziness.

Post # 30
404 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

What we skipped:

– Bouquet/garter toss

– First Look (that’s more common in my circle than waiting to walk down the aisle)

– Favors

– “Unity” traditions (candle/sand ceremony/handfasting/etc.)

– Hours and hours of pictures. DH and I are both camera shy and we wanted to spend more time with our guests. So we cut down the number of photos.

– Elaborate send-off

– Old/new/borrowed/blue

– Child attendants


What we kept:

– Catholic ceremony (not really an option, but I wanted this anyway)

– Father/Daughter & Mother/Son dances

– cake cutting (we got a small “cut cake” as we had cupcakes for everyone else)

– Dad giving me away (my dad and I are super close so I wanted a little time with just us) 


We did our best to keep it simple. 

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