(Closed) What traditions/customs are you skipping?

posted 6 years ago in Traditions
Post # 16
800 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015 - Historic Chapel

We are not having a bridal party, no bachelor/bachelorette party, no garter/bouquet toss, no first dance, no father daughter dance. We are just not fans of any o fthose.

Post # 19
34 posts
  • Wedding: December 2015 - Key Largo Lighthouse

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llevinso:  We’re getting married in Key Largo on a private property with a beach area.

For the reception we’re going for the “minimalist” look — not a lot of decor. I figure guests aren’t going to remember fancy centerpieces or the color of the tablecloth, etc. We’d rather spend our money creating a memorable experience through good food, drinks (people love those open bars lol) and a fun atmosherpere.

A couple months into planning our wedding I realized, “hey, this is my fiance and mine wedding — forget what’s expected and traditional….Lets create the experience personal to us and do whatever we want! Whose to judge.

Post # 21
1786 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2016

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Peaceoutboyscout:  yes. i have seen it done at 2 weddings and its super weird. it makes guys that are in relationships not want to participate in the garter toss for fear they’ll have to rub it up some random girls leg. lol. and the last wedding i went to the girl was much larger than the bride so the garter would really only fit around her calf…super awkward moment for the guests watching. 

Post # 22
102 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: Beach

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ebowers23:  YES! I am SO GLAD to finally see someone else who doesn’t care about the centerpieces/decor! I am a minimalist in my daily life and the thought of wasting time and money on decorations I don’t care about makes me want to gag.

I think it would be easier to say which traditions we’re sticking to as opposed to which ones we’re ditching, but here goes!

No flowers. No bouquets for anyone! This drove my mom CRAZY and I think she’ll show up the day of with a bunch of bouquets she made herself. If she does that, I guess I’ll use them, but if it were up to me there wouldn’t be any flowers at all. No non-traditional bouquets either. I fully plan on tackle-glomping (think hug, but more dangerous) my fiance when I walk down the “aisle”, so it’s just easier if I don’t have anything to carry.

Completely secular wedding. We’re writing the entire thing and his friend (a local actor) is officiating.

Nobody will be “giving me away”. I hate that tradition.

No centerpieces/decor. We’ll have white tablecloths with small tea candles that they have at the restaurant. No way in hell I’m going with my mom’s idea and paying $500 for that stuff. 

No bouquet/garter toss. The wedding where the bouquet toss wasn’t awkward was where all the women let my 3 year old cousin catch the flowers, which was cute. 

No DJ. My fiance and I have a very particular taste in music and we want ONLY the music we approve of being played. Also, I hate cheesy DJ jokes. Gross.

No bridal shower. My fiance and I are moving across the country and have been trying for months to get rid of stuff. We don’t need anything else, thank you.

No registry. Same reason. I hope that they take our suggestion and donate to charity, but I wouldn’t turn away cash. Box presents will be difficult to transport, but if we only get one or two, that would be okay. 

No big white dress! I bought a short, lace dress online for less than $100. I am so glad I didn’t go to a bridal store!

No big white cake. I’m baking our small cake (chocolate + espresso flavored) plus some of the dessert bar items. My mom says I won’t have enough time, but this is one of the things I actually care about, so I’m going for it. 

I don’t even know what a unity ceremony is, so that’s probably a no.

Bridesmaids dresses matching. They’re not props, so why shouldn’t they get to wear something they already own or something they know they’ll wear again? I’m just asking that it’s blue or gray and knee length. 

Then we’re not doing a dollar dance, champagne (there will be an open bar, just no toasting champagne), renting transportation (other than bikes), guest books, or favors. 

No offense to anyone doing any of those traditions! They just aren’t meaningful or important to me!

Post # 23
73 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

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NovemBride1415:  It really does make you sound terrible when you say it like that.  I guess your mom’s blue collar money is good enough to pay for your cake though. I would hate to think how anyone from your blue collar background would feel if they knew how classless you think they are.  Hopefully you aren’t inviting any of those classless people to your classy event.

Post # 24
486 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

We are skipping a lot of traditions, considering we are having a fairly large “traditional” ballroom reception! I do like the sentiment of many traditions, but nixed the ones Fiance and I are ambivalent towards:

No ushers

No lengthy family seating component prior to the ceremony, only our parents are formally walking down the aisle. Fiance will escort my Mom, FI’s parents will walk together, and my dad will escort me.

No unity candle/sand/etc. during the (nondenominational) ceremony – just a few readings, rings, and our personal vows

No receiving line after ceremony

No bouquet/garter toss

No anniversary dance or dollar dance, I never enjoy these as a guest at weddings because I just want to get out on the dance floor!

No grand exit from the reception

No limo to escort the bridal party around, we will be taking the very glamorous hotel shuttle to get us to and from

Post # 25
1295 posts
Bumble bee

No flower girl/ring bearer (unless you have one of each at the perfect age, it’s just messy and attention-grabbing)

No awkward father/daughter or mother/son dance

No bouquet toss/garter (agree, not *actually* fun for anyone)


Post # 26
1073 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

We were married on Sunday (ahhhhh) and we did skip quite a few things.

My dad did not walk me down the aisle.

No bouquet or garter toss

Only a 1st dance, no wedding party, bride/dad, mom/groom ect.

We did a unity ceremony but we literally tied the knot, and it was awesome.

We pretty much wrote or took stuff we liked off the web for our ceremony. We also did the unity ceremony and then the ring exchange and usualy it’s reverse.

I am not changing my name and he is not changing his.

I was not going to wear a veil but then we found my moms and I used a part of it for a short veil. 

Post # 27
952 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

i didn’t have bridesmaids or flower girls. 

i also skipped the “gatecrash”, which is a huge tradition in singapore. in the gatecrash, the groom and his groomsmen show up at the brides house and carry out challenges set by the bridesmaids. usually something along the lines of eating something incredibly spicy/bitter/disgusting, or doing a physical challenge, or coming up with a song to show their devotion to the bride. after they finish the challenges, they have to pay the bridesmaids a red packet with money inside (usually a lucky amount like $888) before the groom is finally allowed into the bride’s room. 

Post # 28
6 posts
  • Wedding: September 2015

This isn’t part of the ceremony but for the rehearsal dinner we are not inviting out of town guest because the place we are having the dinner does not allow the number we would need past the wedding party and plus ones. My fiance and I were dead set on this restaurant since before we got engaged too so we couldn’t just have it anywhere else. (My mom was not happy about that)

Post # 29
696 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

I thought of my wedding as being really traditional until I had to start talking to other people about it and justify EVERY. SINGLE. CHOICE. Every single thing I will mention in the following three paragraphs, I had to justify to at least one (in many cases, more than one) person:

 My fiance didn’t have a bridal party; instead, one of my bridesmaids (who is close to both of us) chose to stand on his side for balance. Lots of people could wrap their heads around a groomswoman, but not the idea that one of my bridesmaids would be ok standing on “his” side. Uh, we’re both getting married. They know him too. We all hang out. 

 I also only had two bridesmaids, and no maid of honor, which I guess is weird…? We did not do a garter or bouquet toss. We did zero speeches. We did not do a favor. I skipped a hair trial. I did not do the “something old, something borrowed, something blue” tradition. I did not leave an empty seat for my deceased mom. We also did not invite every single person we knew; we had a small-ish wedding of 65. We did not get married on a Saturday. 

We also did a few things that were considered non-compliant 😉 We did a first look! We did a lot of food (pre-ceremony/ cocktail hour/ dinner/ candy bar/ dessert bar/ cake cutting/ late night snack)! We did signature cocktails (we did NOT do a full open bar). I wore a dress that looked like “it might shed”.  I wore a red lip. I did my own makeup. 

You get married, and suddenly everyone’s a critic.

Post # 30
762 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

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llevinso:  We also skipped the bouquet/garter toss. DH didn’t want to do anything to replace the garter toss, but I wanted something as a lot of our 40 person reception was 20 something and single.

Instead we did a cake pull. I got wine charms off Etsy and gave a list of their meanings to the DJ. We made a big deal out of it and everyone loved it. Every girl gets a “fortune” based on the charm she pulled out of the cupcake. You should check it out. It’s not super embarassing to the single ladies.


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