Post # 1
We’re working on our non-religious outdoor ceremony and we’re trying to think of different ways to incorporate our parents in it and other rituals/traditions to do. I don’t think we’ll do any readings, unless you Bees have some creative non-scripture ones that would make me change my mind. I guess we’ll do a unity candle? I’m not really sure what else we could do. I saw an idea on pinterest where the couple “tied a knot” literally, and I thought that might be cute–or maybe it’s corny? Haha. I just don’t know – we’ve really only been to religious weddings, so we’re a bit lost. And I’m afraid our ceremony will be over in 5 mins lol.
What types of traditions/rituals/etc. did you do during your ceremony? How did you incorporate your parents and other people that are special to you? Did you do any readings? if so, what kinds of readings?
Ps. I suppose a poll really isn’t necessary, but I love them… so. yeah.
Post # 3
My Fiance and I are each picking a reading and those will be the only ones done at the ceremony. Oh, and they’re a surprise to each other (I picked an abridged excerpt from one of the Lemony Snickett books).
As far as rituals I reccomend NOT doing a unity candle for an outdoor ceremony! Even the tiniest bit of breeze can ruin that but there are so many other things you can do. A sand ceremony, sharing a glass of wine, tying a knot, sealing a box with love letters you’ve written to each other (to be open on an anniversary), a hand fasting (I’ve seen ones where the parents tie the knot around the couples hands), etc. A sand ceremony or stone ceremony can be great if you want to incorporate your families because you can have each set of parents add some sand or stones to the vase before you and your Fiance.
Post # 4
I have friends that are having two poems read at their ceremony. I’ve thought I’d do the same, maybe a book excerpt. 🙂
Post # 5
@BrideAliBean: Ahh good call on the candle. The box with love letters sounds perfect! Thanks for the idea! And I like the idea of sharing a glass of wine or combining sand/stones.
Post # 6
As of right now, we are planning on having readings, undecided on which ones – there’s so many to choose from! And we’re doing the wine box with the letters. The challenge will be finding a wine that will age well for 5-10 years (depending on when we want to read them).
Post # 7
What about signing your marriage license together? Secularly-speaking, I can’t think of a “ritual” or “tradition” that would be more important than that, as it ritually as well as legally binds the two of you together.
We’re doing a reading – Taylor Mali’s “How Falling In Love is Like Owning a Dog” (FI and I met at a dog park). We’re also doing a Chinese tea ceremony, but that will be at the rehearsal dinner.
Post # 8
We’re doing a handfasting, although I guess that’s religious. We’re having some Celtic readings done by the officiants, as well.
Post # 9
We aren’t doing anything like a ritual. We have one reading (“Union”) and a ceremony we wrote. I’m glad someone already mentioned the unity candle because as a fellow outdoor bride I would have warned you because it sounds like it just never works out!
I definitely suggest the love letters box which I have also heard IN conjunction with doing wine or adding wine into the box 😀 I would love to do this but I really don’t think Fiance and I would be able to wait. Especially if there is wine sealed in there ;] and I don’t want the ethical dilecommand being silly and superstitious 😛 sounds like you like that idea which is good and totally secular.
Post # 10
IMO readings are boring. So we just had a judge marry us, short ceremony, aaaaand that was it. I didn’t see the need to add anything that didn’t have special meaning to us. It was only maybe ten minutes long, including the remarks the judge said beforehand, the entire thing may have been twenty minutes with the processing in and out. Lots of people commented on how they enjoyed how short it was. My husband and I haaaaaate long ceremonies and always spend the time checking our phones or playing tic-tac-toe in the bible with the little church pencils, so we didn’t want our ceremony to inspire that in people.
Post # 11
We had two non-religious readings from literature. We gave flowers to our moms to show our thanks for raising us. Lastly, we planted a tree together. The entire ceremony was 20 minutes.
Post # 12
@PrincessBride27: we are not doing readings, we are not religious, and my brother in law got ordained to marry us. we were toying with the idea of the wine box ceremony thing (idk the real name). where we each write a love letter, and put them in a box with a bottle of wine, and nail it closed. during our first big argument (or an anniversary of your choice) you open the box, read the letters, and drink the wine.
we decided not to do it because we want to keep our ceremony short, and simple. but i love love love the idea!
my Brother-In-Law will say something about marriage, then declaration of intent. then our own vows and ring exchange which is written into our vows.. then we’re done!
Post # 13
We did two readings, one before and one after. They were a quote from our favorite book and Union by Robert Fulghum. We did a traditional celtic handfasting with a cord I made, and we sealed the ceremony with a broom jump. We wanted a ceremony that would mesh with DH’s agnostic beliefs and my Paganism and our reverend did a fantastic job.
Post # 14
There’s a good post in the Secular board for favourite secular wedding readings, if you really want to do one.
We didn’t incorporate any traditions/ceremonial things into our wedding ceremony – just the basic “Do you take her? Do you take him? Sign here and you’re done!” Like some of the previous posters, hubby and I hate long ceremonies, so we made sure this one was just the bare basics.
Post # 15
@PrincessBride27: We are doing a “unity candle” ceremony with our two families, and it’s supposed to symbolize the union of our two families. We are also doing the “love letter wine box ceremony” where we each write a letter to each other and seal it up in a box with a bottle of wine to be opened on our 5 or 10 year anniversary.
Post # 16
I’m doing a ring warming 🙂 You pass the rings around for each person to impart their well-wishes and energy into them.