(Closed) What typical ‘female’ things does your SO like to do??

posted 4 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 76
Member
3025 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2016

BubblesandCupcakes :  I could see being even more bothered by it when coming from a close friend. However, honestly, the level of shock would probably be the same regardless.

I think when we look at things like this and the concepts they harbor…it’s not a surprise why we have stereotyping issues and gender role misconceptions especially in the west. I mean,…look at the stereotyping of Asian males in western media and in society. I’ve had the “why don’t you get with a real man?” comments more than I like to admit (and even once wasn’t acceptable).

Post # 77
Member
1703 posts
Bumble bee

j_jaye :  

I wouldn’t be losing my mind if the roles were reversed…personally, I like “traditional” female and male roles and qualities.

The traditionally “female” things that my fiance appreciates – clothes (not complaining here – I love a well dressed/well put together man) and he is a huge mush around animals (another quality I love about him)…he TOTALLY understood my love for my dog and shared the same feelings.

Post # 78
Member
1710 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

My husband is the neat freak in our relationship. He also loves bubble baths haha.

Post # 79
Member
3225 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

 ct2015 :  If there are 6 pages of “manly men” who enjoy clothes, facials, cooking, and animals…are those really traditional female things? Or is that just some arbitrary label we’ve put on things that people of both sexes enjoy equally? 

FWIW my husband is not a “manly man” but he has no fashion sense and can’t boil spaghetti, I wish he did though! 

Post # 80
Member
3563 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Good gosh, some of y’all are so apt to jump on the “offended” train that you left your sense of humor at the station.  Lighten up, life is too short to be “so offended” over whether or not someone thinks candles & spa nights are considered “girly”.

To answer the OP, my Darling Husband likes to sew.  He only really sews around Halloween, because we go all out on our costumes and 9 times out of 10, he’s making his own costume.  He also likes to decorate cakes…he thinks he’s like the cake boss. lol

Post # 81
Member
590 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2017 - Nepal

futuremrskinner :  He loves pedicures! He also likes me to clean up his eyebrows and wax his ears, though he complains the entire time ha ha.

Post # 82
Member
101 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

My Fiance has a better skincare regime than I do! Facial moisturizer and body lotion every day when he’s fresh out of the shower. I’m proud of myself if I get around to washing my makeup off before bed! He is also super clean and tidy and CANNOT walk away from any dog/puppy he sees on the street without geting a few pats in first 🙂 Its very sweet.

Post # 83
Member
107 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

This is a fun thread! My Fiance would probably strangle me seeing me writing this since he doesn’t like admitting to it but I find it so cute. He is obsessed with hand cream and cleansing wipes, like his car is filled with things my purse has never seen, haha! 

He also likes to get facial masks done with me, but “only if they’re black, because I feel they work best” 😂 He does his own little manicure and pedicure and is honestly better at it than I am, but I’m so proud of him! 😃

Another thng he is obsessed with is hair, like he has one special day in a fortnight where he locks himself up in the bathroom for an hour and trims and takes care of every part of his body that has hair growing out of it and comes out happy and fresh as if he just undergone some 24hr spa treatment. 😃 

Of course I’m not complaining ! 

Post # 84
Member
4242 posts
Honey bee

mangosandcats :   BubblesandCupcakes :   soymilk :   j_jaye :  Glad I’m not the only one! I didnt want to be the first person to bring it up, lest i be accused of taking everything too seriously but I mean, it’s 2016….do we really need to label things like cooking and liking candles as “feminine”? If anything, this thread shows that there aren’t really typically “male” and “female” interests, since it appears that men and women enjoy many of the same things. 

Post # 85
Member
308 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

Although my husband is into sports I’d never describe him as a “manly man” because he’s such a gentle soul and because when I picture what people describe as a “manly man” I picture a testosterone-ridden beast. But when it comes to typically-female stereptypes-  Once I got him to do a mask with me, and he buys me candles and lush stuff but doesn’t care for them unless I run a bath for the both of us.

However the breakthrough happened the other day, after I finished rewatching all seasons of sex and the city (with him ‘reading’ next to me) he asked to see the movie. 

Post # 86
Member
2448 posts
Buzzing bee

I don’t think MOST of the people responding here truly see these things as feminine. The OP used scare quotes around feminine to indicate that we understand it’s a social construct. I am discussing this in good faith, with the understanding that gender norms are social constructs.

But being aware of social constructs doesn’t mean that they suddenly don’t actually exist, on a social level.

And discussing things within the parameters of social constructs doesn’t mean that you believe in them, or let your behavior be guided by them. 

Do I think of my SO as being “feminine” because of certain things he does that SOCIETY dictates are feminine? No. Do I still recognize that these things he does ARE labelled “feminine” by society? Yes.

I recognize that the toxic masculinity of the patriarchy can hurt men via repression just as it hurts women via exploitation and violence, and I like to be aware of how this impacts the men in my life.

I like to aknowledge to myself when my SO does something socially considered “feminine” because it’s very likely he’s gotten grief for it at some point in his life. As a matter of fact, he frequently is asked if he’s gay – which just goes to show you YES, social constructs are still pretty “real” on a social level despite how many individuals think they are liberated from them. 

So when he shows deep emotion with me – something usually associated with women, and an aspect of his personality I know he’s been judged for all his life – I give him extra amounts of positive reinforcement and acceptance and love because I know that – b/c of gender norms – he’s extra vulnerable in that moment.

We can discuss social constructs without actually buying in to them. Or do y’all think we lack the nuanced thinking for that?

Post # 87
Member
3113 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: March 2016 - Surfer\'s Beach, Grand Cayman

duchessgummybunns :  I totally agree. While I don’t like to promote the idea of gender norms, I do understand that they exist and that’s why I specifically stated that none of his so called “feminine” qualities are funny to me but in fact part of what I initially found attractive about him. 

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