(Closed) What was the downfall?

posted 7 years ago in Encore
Post # 3
Member
2192 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Mine was that we were too young, 20/19 at the time and hadn’t had enough life experience. He ended up not being faithful because once he got out of the small town we lived in he realized there was so much more for him to discover. Now that I’m almost 10 years older I know what I really want and who I really want to be with and so does my now Fiance. And ex husband, has remarried as well. So IMO it was age and adultery.

Post # 4
Member
23 posts
Newbee

My ex-husband was addicted to cocaine. He was lying and stealing (and doing drugs!). So after months of trying to hold it together I realized he didn’t really want to get clean. I finally left. Ok, I kinda had to since he hadn’t paid rent in 2 months and we had to move. It’s been 9 months since I left him. I’m happier now than I’ve been in years.

Post # 5
Member
8353 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

My first husband was imature and never grew up. He cheated, lied, and emotionally abused me throughout the entire marriage; right from the get go, but I was to naive to figure it out for a very long time. I tried to keep our marriage fresh, but it was just his nature to cheat and lie. We were married for 18 1/2 years and my mother loved him and I was a til death do us part kind of girl and I took my vows very seriously; however, when my mom passed away, I decided that it was time to get out, and that is what I did. It was the best decision that I ever made and my kids each thanked me and told me it was about time. I wish I would have had their input sooner; they saw things before I did. I was young and dumb. The only advice that I have for you is to keep your eyes wide open and if you suspect something, don’t be afraid to confront him about it and walk away from him if you need to. No woman deserves to be disrespected in any way, shape, or form.

Post # 7
Member
23 posts
Newbee

@noritake22 AMEN!!!

Post # 8
Member
14494 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

I am not an encore, but my FH is.  The one peice of advice he give to new divorced people is not to let the past marriage issues control your future happiness.  Alot of divorcees swear they will never marry again, he was actually of that thought originally.  One day he realized he was letting the sins of the past ruin his chance at being truely happy and that he had been projecting issues the ex had onto me.  Both of which were ruining a really great possible future.  We are both thrilled that he came to these conclusions before it affected the rest of his life.

Post # 12
Member
3638 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I don’t remember where I heard this (ok, yes I do…it was on the Bachelor *hangs head*). But what the girl said really stuck with me: 

Although in the end it was her husband’s infidelity which really ended the marriage, something she really regrets is not greeting him at the door when he got home. She would sit on the couch/wherever and not make the effort to great him, say hello, give a kiss and show excitement that he was home.

Obviously if you need to stir something in the kitchen/wash the kids in the bath you can’t do this but for the most part I think that it is such a small thing which makes your partner feel loved and wanted. 

Post # 14
Member
2192 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

@MrsNeutrino: Sorry to take so long to respond…..The only advice I can give is to be sure. I mean be really sure that marriage is what you want before you enter into it. Some people your age like the “idea” of marriage and think it’s a fix-all for problems and that if you get married he will never leave and all of that.

However, that’s not at all the case, nor is it the reality of marriage. I also suggest seeing more of the world than just the areas you are familiar. There is so much more out there. Educate yourself and really know who YOU are not who you are as a couple. It’s two different people in most cases when you are younger.

All of that is MY opinion from MY experiences and not meant to generalize anyone that is younger. I was married at 19years old and a divorced single mother by 23yrs old. I’ve learned quite a lot.

I wish you the best!

Post # 15
Member
126 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

My ex and I got married too young and without knowing eachother well enough (we’d starting dating in October and were married in June). 

This time around my Fiance and I have been together for six years! 

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