(Closed) What was the most unexpectedly difficult aspect of your planning or wedding?

posted 8 years ago in Emotional
Post # 17
Member
7976 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

The toughest thing? EVERYTHING.

Finding a venue took about six months. We are still in the process of booking a church, a process which has taken four months so far. Even once that’s booked, I anticipate major issues with various aspects of the ceremony due to religious differences between our families.

I’m still struggling to lose weight and can’t fit into my dress. During the process then one of my Grandmothers died, and the other almost died. Fiance has also had health problems. We have gone over budget and run out of money. I am having to DIY everything, including the flowers and half the food. Oh yeah, and we’re also having guest list problems.

Then there’s the way Fiance has a habit of criticising without offering any productive advice. Plus the fact that he hates dancing, but his parents are adamant that we do a first dance. They also want other things… that I don’t. Ack. Oh, and Fiance wants me to change my name etc etc. I don’t.

I also have a crazy mother, a brother about to deploy to Afghanistan, and a bridesmaidzilla who has rejected all my bridesmaid’s dress ideas and made a whole series of ridiculous demands. Oh, and I’m meeting another bridesmaid tomorrow and she might have something to tell me. I have no clue what it is, but I suspect she might be pregnant. Good for her… really… it is… but I have to consider how on earth I’m going to accommodate her, seeing as she would be due around the date of the wedding. so that’s something else.

… oh yeah, and on a note which is more irritating than stressful, my venue also keeps saying no to me, which is making me feel like a crazy bridezilla. Fireworks? No. A trestle table in the garden to serve your guests nibbles from during the photos? No. Photographs near to the big tree in the grounds? No. They’ve even ummed and ahhed about my serving champagne to my guests in the gardens at all.

What else? Oh yeah… I can’t find shoes that fit because I have terrible bunions, which the NHS won’t operate on until the plates in my feet split completely in a few years’ time. A minor point, but seeing as I’m letting it all out…

… and now I feel better. Oh well. Only another seven months to go. I mean, I love my family and Future In-Laws, but this is all so much work…

Post # 18
Member
13889 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Future In-Laws.

Post # 19
Member
883 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

our biggest issues was picking the date – I wanted to make sure it worked for everyone we wanted there – a lot of people were coming from out of state.  Guess the date worked, 105 out of 110 invited showed up.

Otherwise it all came together smoothly and the day was exactly as we imagined.

 

Post # 20
Member
7172 posts
Busy Beekeeper

Most surprising:  family drama.  I thought I’d get an outpouring of support, but it was just the opposite.

In that same vein: the stress that comes with all the ‘helpful’ suggestions.  Lots of people will share with you their opinions about every and any aspect of the wedding.  Most will contridict what you may be planning.  For whatever reason, I let it get to me and it made me doubt my choices.  I had to keep reminding myself of our core goals and vision for our wedding and that this was our wedding and not everyone elses (and it was ok to go against the grain!)

Dress regret – I didn’t expect it to hit so hard and it did… I didn’t change my dress and ended up loving it on the day of! 🙂

My advice to you is to sit down with your Fiance and talk about what’s important as you think about your wedding.   Write it down and come back to it as grounding when things go crazy and get stressful! 🙂

Post # 21
Member
1927 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

HANDS DOWN MY IN LAWS!!!

My in laws had it in their head that DH and I were going to have a 300+ person wedding. Plus a live band outside of the church. Plus my husband’s, sister’s, husband’s sister’ and parents invited. Plus every single cousin of my husband as a bridesmaid. Plus waiting till the last minute to pay. To make a long story short my in laws were the ONLY thing that stressed me, I would have really enjoyed wedding planning if they would have shut the eff up. 

Post # 22
Member
2106 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

My mom passed away seven years ago, and one of my aunts initially stepped up and promised me she would be there for me.  She did seem super excited, which was surprising, considering her own daughter got engaged a few days after me.  That same daughter became pregnant a couple of weeks later with her second child in less than a year.  At first, my aunt wasn’t too happy about it, and declared that her daughter would be on her own.  When my cousin had the baby, she suffered from post partum depression, and my aunt suddenly announced that she was moving into the duplex apartment below her daughter in a town about an hour and a half away from where we live to help out her daughter.  She promised me that she would still be there to help me out with everything.  Needless to say, she wasn’t. 

Until that point, I really had been ok planning my wedding without my mom.  But it was kind of a rude awakening to have someone stop into that motherly role, and then just as suddenly take it away.  I really began to feel the loss of my mom more after that point than I had in years.  I still can’t find it in my heart to forgive my aunt, who I had been pretty close with before my engagement.  She wasn’t just an aunt, she was also a friend, and I don’t feel like we’ll ever get that relationship back. 

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