Post # 1
A while back Mr. 365 and I went ring shopping. I loved a ring that was a cheaper version of a more expensive ring, but the more I looked at it the more I noticed how cheap it actually looked. I went on the hunt for another ring, and he sat back patiently because he knew he wasn’t buying it anytime soon. I was cool with that, he was still in school and just wanted ideas.
Fast forward to about two/three months ago. He asked me to look at rings again, and I had one in the back of my mind but knew no way could he afford it. It was a Tiffany ring with an aquamarine stone and diamond halo, so I set out to find a similar one. I couldn’t find one, but he did and it was a 300$ aquamarine/white sapphire ring nearly the same. It was smaller but cute enough. I was still looking though. Since I couldn’t find anything else, I let him know when the ring went on sale for half price two weeks ago. He’s now working full time, and had no excuse but still said he didn’t have the money. Fine whatever I didn’t push, I was just letting him know so he could save money.
Then the only night I was looking online at the ring I originally fell in love with, it’s been marked down from 3500$ to 1000$. I brought it up, and he tells me he doesn’t want to spend that much, it’s just a ring. Fine, okay, I’ll ignore that comment. Later on in the conversation he says how much the ring costs is how much the guy supposedly loves the girl. Half jokingly I said he clearly didn’t love me that much then, and he got really upset.
I feel bad because I want him to feel like it’s his choice, but he knows I’m really picky. I’ve returned xmas gifts, donated them if they were unreturnable and even gone as far and throwing out gifts because I didn’t like them. I do not want to hate my engagement ring, but I don’t want to only have my wedding band either.
Should I show him my original ring and explain why I love it but let him know it’s okay, there’s at least two years until our wedding, possibly three, so I don’t mind if he takes his time to get it. Maybe even offer to help pay for it (I wouldn’t mind), or should I just drop it and wish for the best?
Post # 3
Have an honest conversation with him. Tell him that it is important to you that you get a ring that you love since you have a strong opinion about these things. Also tell him that if $ is an issue, you wouldn’t mind helping him out and that may be you guys are opened to a monthly payment plan? The ring also doesn’t have to be his choice only but it could be purchased based on a joint choice. That was what was done with my ring. Also tell him (to soften your opinion so as to not to appear to strongarm him into doing this) that if he were to propose with an ugly ring, you’ll still be completely floored because it’s the thoughts that count but why not have the best of 2 worlds? Moreover, there would be no need to upgrade in the future!!
Post # 4
Hi 365 – I am in a similar situation. I am very picky – cannot finding anything at the local jewelry store, and want something very unique. I offered to buy the diamond, since it would be as much as the setting, but I think that offended him. After a few months of fighting over price, style, etc. I finally decided to make a list with pictures and details of everything I like. I wrote down specifically what I did and did not like about each ring I picked out, (all very similar in style,) and even drew up my “dream ring” for a custom design if he went that route. That way he feels like he has options, (sort of,) and can still surprise me, (even though I know the idea of what he will pick out.)
Trust me, I know it’s frustrating, but you do need to talk about it… especially since you are looking for something specific. Good luck 🙂
Post # 5
If your picky…. maybe you could have a mutual friend talk to him about it. You definitely wanna get exactly what you like because it is gonna be on your finger forever. Another idea might be to ask him to go shopping together to get a budget and them help him work out a layaway plan. I do NOT think you should pay for it because that just leads to resentment. Good luck!
Post # 6
I’m super picky and was really worried about what Fiance would pick out. We looked at rings online once so he could get an idea of what I liked. He showed me what he thought would be “me” and it wasn’t something I would ever pick out. I showed him several things I liked and tried to explain why, but I didn’t think he was getting what I was saying.
As it turns out, Fiance did an amazing job. My e-ring is so “me” and I get compliments on my ring almost daily.
Don’t stress so much. Trust that Fiance knows you and knows what you would like. He may just surprise you (mine did for sure).
Post # 7
do you have helzberg’s diamond in your area or a sam’s? the tiffany ring is my dream ring too. sam’s club has a great ring inspired by that one as well (it’s not on line but is in the store and beautiful). I think it sells for 500ish. The Helzberg is about 600 or so.