(Closed) What was the rudest wedding experiance you had?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 16
Member
712 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

DH’s moms cousin is a wedding planner. I didnt want or need a wedding planner, but was obligated by mil to give her a call. When I did call her and spoke with her, I told her I have a lot of time to plan things myself and would rather have her as a guest at my wedding instead of working on that day. She agreed, but not before proceeding to ask me what our budget was anyway, and how much my DH’s family is contributing to that budget. It was so rude. 

Post # 17
Member
4810 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

View original reply
emilyluwest:   During wedding planning (which is ongoing!)  I cannot count the number of vendors and salespeople who have automatically assumed I was planning this wedding for my daughter.

I’m in my early 50s, and have no children.  It’s MY wedding, dammit!!!!!!!  

Post # 18
Member
69 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2016

Wedding where the bride told me she had to pay for 125 guests no matter what, and since many guests canceled I got invited to her wedding.

Bridal shower of 80+ people with most registy items starting at over $120, and several over $500. I felt I was there to buy an expensive gift.  I have a set amount I spend for these parties, they did not get more than that.

Post # 19
Member
6533 posts
Bee Keeper

For our wedding, we were surprised that most of DH’s family was planning to attend, even though most of them had to travel from out of town. So, the weekend of the wedding, we had the rehearsal dinner planned with all the family attending (of course), as well as several family get-togethers after the wedding. At the beginning of the weekend, one of my SILs told me she was expecting and that she was going to let the family know during the weekend. I was happy for her and thought it was a great idea.

Well, she decided to make her big announcement in the middle of our rehearsal dinner! Just before the toasting started, she stood up and made the announcement that she was pregnant, along with all of these cute little “reveal” gifts she had made for the different sets of grandparents. The rest of the night, all of the toasts or comments, of course, included how happy everyone was about the new baby. People were happy about our wedding, too, but, basically, the evening ended up being all about my SIL and the pregnancy. I’ve been married for 16 years now, and it still annoys me on the rare occasion I think back about it.

I guess it could have been worse, though. She could have done it in the middle of the ceremony — ha, ha!

Post # 21
Member
1896 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I was at a Vegas wedding when after the ceremony the couple was taking pictures at the front of the room and the mother of the groom started loudly telling everyone that she wished the groom (her son) would have married me (I barely knew the guy).  The dinner was in a resturant where they only ordered appitizers, after telling everyone it would be a regular full-size meal, and everyone who ate the shrimp (including me) got sick.

Post # 22
Member
2478 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

A few years back I was invited to the late afternoon/early evening BBQ reception that followed the daytime wedding of some not tremendously close friends. Over here in the UK it isn’t an etiquette faux pas to have a tiered wedding and reception with some guests only invited to the evening reception so just getting an evening invitation wasn’t a problem for me.

However, it IS an etiquette faux pas to invite a professional photographer along (me) and then complain bitterly that said photographer hadn’t turned up with thousands of pounds’ worth of professional equipment. Only I thought I was a guest. Had I known I was expected to WORK then I might have done differently. Although given the attitude they showed me, I might well have preferred not to turn up at all. With or without a camera! 

It’s not that I mind taking pictures for friends either but please don’t invite me under the guise of friendship when what you really want is professional photography for free. They’d only hired their official photographer for the daytime proceedings on the basis that “another professional” was doing the evening. Not that anyone had had the decency to ask me whether this arrangement was acceptable! 

  • This reply was modified 6 years, 6 months ago by  .
Post # 25
Member
1654 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

A couple of years ago I attended a wedding which the bride and groom threw together in two months. They asked us all to be there at 9:30am and when 50+ of us got there at that time we found out the church doors wouldn’t even open until 11am! It was also July and about 30 degrees Celsius outside (86 Fahrenheit) and we were all in full length sarees waiting outside.

On top of that the bride and groom didn’t arrive until 12:30, and we all ate at around 4:30. The food? Rice, beans, and pound cake. 

Post # 27
Member
4438 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: January 2013 - Harbourfront Grand Hall

View original reply
emilyluwest:  Yikes, some of these stories are horrifying!

For my BFF’s wedding I was REALLY stressed about money having just lost a job but dedicated to saving about $1200 for everything (dress, shoes, shower and wedding gifts, bachelorette party I was throwing, etc.).  When her bridal shower came around which I have no say in, the day of as guests were arriving instead of being part of the party the bride’s mom asked me to leave the party and pick up misc. things she had forgotten (I remember lemonade mix being one of them, the brides favorite) and she decided last minute the bride should have a corsage.  I paid about $75 for these misc. items and reimbursement was never mentioned.  Which would have been fine if a month or so later the bride hadn’t decided that on top of the bachelorette party I had planned (which hardly anyone showed up for, tons of food down the garbage disposal….) she wanted to do a weekend away and we all had to shell out for transportation, hotel, food, etc.  She sold it as a vacation but I couldn’t afford a vacation at this point in my life!

 

Regarding my own wedding and planning I have 2 stories:

 

1. Called a bakery approximately 9 months before the wedding, they literally laughed at me, said I was planning too early and to call back 3 months before the wedding.

2. DH’s Aunt and Uncle have young children, they are the reason we decided to invite children to the wedding.  So we invite them and all SEVEN children, they were to have their own table of 9… and the day after I gave our venue our final numbers for food they cancelled saying that they didn’t realize how late our weddindg was — like it wasn’t on the RSVP?!  We lost a few hundred dollars on having to cancel that table ;(

Post # 28
Member
268 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

I got two friends of mine (one a good school friend and the other my childhood friend) together after highschool and they got engaged.  I was excited for the wedding, but the invite never came.  However, I apparently was good enough for the reception afterwards. ;-\

Post # 29
Member
930 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

1. Not recieving my own invitation for a cousin’s wedding, it was adressed to my parents & family.  (I have 3 brothers, 2 of them got their own invitations, myself and my hardly younger than me brother didn’t get anything)  I was 27 years old at the time and hadn’t lived at home in 9 years, AND DH (then FI) wasn’t listed anywhere and we heard from word of mouth that he could come if he wanted.  AND the same couple never sent us a thank you card.  We traveled 2nd furthest to get to the wedding & bought a pretty expensive gift.  My parents got a thank you card, we never did, and I KNOW they got the gift because they posted gift opening pictures on facebook, with ours in the background, card still taped to it.  Not sending thank you cards is one thing, but sending them only to certain people is another. 

2. Seeing a poster for an open house bridal shower posted in a gas station (on the community buliten boards)  Come on, all you are doing is trolling for gifts from anyone who wants to give them to you!

3. At my wedding at least a dozen people changed into jeans during the dance.  Yes, I get taht we were out at a park, but we were under a tent, a damn nice tent that looked better than the piece of crap hall in town everyone else uses.  

Post # 30
Member
1555 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I don’t really think I’ve been invited to any weddings where the hosts were massively rude.

I think the ‘rudest’ was a wedding I attended as a guest of a groomsman and it was dry, but not because there were issues with alcoholism or an opposition to alcohol in the hosting family, it was dry, and they told people that if they wanted a drink to go to the hotel bar. The wedding party went out to the parking lot and did shots out of the back of a trunk half the time. 

It wasn’t necessarily rude, but it was just odd.

 

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