(Closed) What was the rudest wedding experiance you had?

posted 7 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 76
Member
20 posts
Newbee

We travelled across the country to a friend’s wedding. The night before the wedding we were given a room at the groom’s house. At 2 am everyone was still up at chatting, then I asked what time we should get up to get ready for the wedding and a groomsman told us 7am….:O……time for bed!! I couldn’t believe no one had mentioned this once! Anywho we get up at 7am to get ready for the wedding, all dressed up..super tired…felt like a zombie,  btw I was 10 weeks pregnant, had terrible morning sickness and I also have a 2 year old :'(. Then waited until 9am to ask when we are leaving for the brides house. The MOG tells us not until 11am. I could have slept longer! Adding salt to my wound, we were up all day until 1am, because we were driven there by MOG. Lovely wedding besides the no sleep and sickness:)

Post # 77
Member
40 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: March 2015

Former coworker – I had been on maternity leave for three weeks.  I get invite for a wedding in 2 weeks – I think that was around z listing. I plan on declining as really didn’t feel great or sane some days (two very fussy infants, ugh).  I get a call from bride (coworker) that they can’t afford to feed children so I needed to keep my newborns at home.  Then went crazy on how I  was so disrespectful and rude and ruining her side…  Ok, my bottle kid is fussy to feed and burp, having latching issues even on a bottle so he was swallowing too much air and I had just figured him out.  My nursing kid is strictly nursing and HATED a bottle, would not take one ever. Plus, they aren’t eating anything other than my milk and formula, they wouldn’t have cost her anything.   

Another one, twins are 6 months old. I’m still exclusively nursing one kid, other is half my milk, half formula. But they’re welcome, may as well attend. Ceremony was lovely, then to cocktail hours (2.5) at 7 pm.  Apps were added salt stale potato chips, a block of cheese with no cutting board or knife, some veggies with some weird pink ranch dressing and all those in quantity to feed maybe 12 people, not some 200. No chairs or tables. Then the bar.  Fully cash bar. Water was $3.00. I turned around, didn’t give them the card and money, then went to Burger King where several other guests wound up.  When MOB got there, over half of the guests had left. Bride had a fit because people left before they could see her sexy dress – sheer bandage style with a tube top and panties under.  Apparently I am strictly at fault, so I need to pay for all the uneaten food and her dress. She actually cancelled the catering check, then sent me a bill for the dress. Which I promptly turned over to my Future Father-In-Law who is a lawyer. And then she posted a weird Facebook rant about traitors who suck lawyers off to get out of paying for their damages.  Anyone who agreed with her for two weeks got unfriended then I did that to her.

Post # 78
Member
17 posts
Newbee

My crew and me were filming a wedding and we had a helper in our team. The people refused to let him eat at the buffet. It was awful and terrible and we walked out of the place. Regular people are treated like dirt even today! One of the worst wedding moments and possibly the worst moment of my life.

Post # 79
Member
7 posts
Newbee

When I told my [then close] friend of 10+ years that I was engaged, the first words out of her mouth were: “I’m not doing your wedding photography, you know.” I was too shocked to feel hurt until later. She never followed it up with any sort of congratulations, either!<br /><br />The other top for rudeness is actually ongoing. We know a couple who are so chronically, unbearably rude that it is actually a real source of entertainment. My personal favourite comment of theirs came in the midst of one of their rants about how EXPENSIVE everything is for a wedding [always just a blatant excuse for them to show off how MUCH they were spending on theirs]. When they looked to us for some commiseration, my fiancé said, clumsily but guilelessly, “Actually, we’ve settled on an arrangement that will cost much less than that.” Their response? “Oh, you are SO lucky. Nobody will EXPECT anything at YOUR wedding!” Lol I missed the memo that they are royalty!

Post # 80
Member
115 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

Majority of the outdoor weddings I’ve attended it rains.  So as a guest you get there early and find your seat, then it starts to rain.  So up my umbrella goes.  Since it’s raining the bride figures she’ll wait it out while her poor guests huddle under umbrellas because we’re not allowed to take shelter for fear of ‘seeing the bride’.

For my wedding, DH’s brother assumed he’d be the Bridesmaid or Best Man.  He wasn’t.  So he threw a fit and got Mother-In-Law involved and they ganged up on DH.  When he didn’t rightfully buckle, they ganged up on me to persuede DH.  It was DH’s choice!  Add the fact it’s not like the brother wasn’t a Groomsmen, he just wasn’t the Bridesmaid or Best Man.  Mother-In-Law was very cold to us over this choice.  The only reason she got over it was because we were guilted into letting brother make a speech during the reception.  Brother is a horrid public speaker and it came off akward and unnessesary.  The things you do to keep the peace.

  • This reply was modified 7 years, 1 month ago by tiki429.
Post # 81
Member
419 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

At my wedding….Maid/Matron of Honor decided 1 month prior that she couldn’t walk with the Bridesmaid or Best Man because “she’s honestly never been able to stand him”…so we shuffled around the wedding party. Before the bachelorette party she started telling everyone that she might not come because she didn’t like to drive herself places and no one would pick her up (it was at least 2-3 hours out of anyone’s way) she brought her bf to the wedding weekend – they both wined and dined nicely, I assumed they were having a good time. I was incredibly hurt and shocked that she didn’t even give us a handwritten note with some wedding wishes in it. I paid for her dress, her hotel, gave her gas funds, paid for their meals all weekend….I wasn’t expecting a gift because I knew she didn’t have the money, but maybe a card with a special note would have been cool. She also didn’t give a shower gift and wouldn’t help my ladies plan it. She pretty much drained the happy from any and all events related to my wedding, and I have strong dislike for her still – 2 years later. 

I was IN another wedding where a lot of petty drama took place, but the worst was her mom – I was a student at the time, and Bride knew I was commited to school 3+ hours away. I arrived at the wedding weekend on Friday for rehearsal and politely asked the mom afterward if there was anything I could help with that evening, she snapped back “Where have you been for the last two weeks????” the bride was mortified and said “MOM, don’t be rude!” It was humiliating. 

Post # 82
Member
82 posts
Worker bee

I have a couple of experiences to share as well as one that my SO had to experience.

1). My former best friend’s sister (basically my sister too because we were all so close at the time) was getting married after getting knocked up while overseas. We had 3 months to get this catholic wedding done. I helped out with everything. I helped find dresses. I was sent home with a pound bag of “bird friendly rice” to fill little things to throw. I helped choreograph the “surprise dance”. I even stayed up till 4 am decorating her reception venue and transporting tables and chairs using my gpa’s truck. I did all of this, which was more than her bridesmaids did, only to be told “you aren’t in the wedding party, but I want you to wear a dress in a similar color.” Nope. I bought a nice black dress to wear to the event. 2 weeks before wedding the MOB said no black and I had to go buy another dress.

She is divorced now.

2). My current best friend is about to get married. I am a Bridesmaid or Best Man. Awesome. Unfortunately she does not like to communicate what she wants and expects people to know. We were told to get our dresses in February by the Bridesmaid or Best Man who is planning the wedding. The bride hadn’t even picked her dress, let alone purchase it so none of us got the discount. Oh well no big deal. She then had a fit because my dress was chifon. She had apparently wanted us in silk and didn’t tell anyone till half of us bought our dresses. I’m helping her find shoes and she would not tell me what she was looking for other than just saying “no” to everything I found. There are no hotels reserved for anyone.

I’m an extreme type A personality so this is more frustrating than rude I guess.

3) My SO had an EXTREMELY rude experience when his best friend got married. They were having a Destination Wedding in Maui and since he was the best man, he had to spend the week with them. So he bought the $1500 plane tickets to go, but said that that was his wedding present to them. They said cool. We the bride’s family was paying for all of the couples stuff, but they were all expected to pitch in for the condo where they were each promised a place to sleep. He paid $400 and was told “Sorry you have to sleep on the wicker couch” once they got there.

Post # 83
Member
260 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

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emilyluwest:  After my sister in law and brother had JUST been married not 2 minutes prior, we were in a separate gallery of the museum after the ceremony. I was standing literally right next to her, and was trying to get a hug from her, saying “I need a hug from my new sister.” and she turned away from me and said “older brothers first.”

Post # 84
Member
4 posts
Wannabee

I got married a couple weeks after my 18th birthday because I’d had a baby at 17, and where I grew up, you ‘fixed your mistakes’ by getting married. I know that this scenario does work out for some people, but unfortunately it was definitely unable to work for me and my marriage lasted all of six months.

To this day, some of the things that his family did stand out as the rudest things I’ve ever experienced. I wish I had known at 17 that people who are close to their rude, crazy family are going to be exactly like that family when they get you alone or feel stressed – even if they say they are totally different.

1) His mother was constantly complaining that she didn’t have a dress made for her wedding, and it was unfair. (My gran sewed my dress because this was the cheapest option for us.) The local fabric store held the dress for a while because the lady there installed the zip, as my Gran wasn’t confident with that. Because Mother-In-Law knew this, she went in there and demanded she be the first to see the dress, because she’d never had a dress made for her. When they said no, she shoved the lady over and ran out the back to see the dress, then called me to say, ‘I saw the dress before you, I hope you don’t enjoy it as much now.'<br />I actually didn’t care that she saw it first, but shoving people is never okay.

2) Mother-In-Law threw a huge tantrum (swearing, crying) because she wasn’t in the wedding party. We gave her a solo song to sing to make her feel better, which she wanted mentioned on the invitations.

3) His two sisters then joined in this tantrum, so I added them as bridesmaids to keep the peace. They wouldn’t wear the coverups for a winter evening wedding and then complained about being freezing, wouldn’t be in photos, and then the older one used the wedding reception to announce her engagement.

4) I received two horrible RSVPs from his uncles; one saying ‘I will not attend a wedding between my nephew and a whore’ and another saying, ‘we dont’ want to come to your shit wedding.’

5) He wanted a balloon arch and was really angry when I told him that my family (who paid for everything) couldn’t afford the $1000.00 version he wanted.

Never have I known a family that would call one another fat, lazy s*** or c**** at the top of their lungs in the carpark at a wedding. It was absolutely mad.

Also, not rude, but definitely added to the whole feel of the wedding… He got arrested for arson the day after the wedding, before we left for honeymoon. I didn’t know anything about this because we had not lived together prior to the wedding. I was absolutely shocked. 

All in all it was just a fairly nightmare experience, and I should have known from how sick I felt walking in that it wasn’t going to work. I have said for a long time that when I get married again, I just want to get married to somebody I’m happy to marry and who is happy to marry me.

Post # 85
Member
108 posts
Blushing bee

We were aiming for an adult only reception for many reasons. My DH has family in another state and when they heard this (they had 5 small children at the time), they said that if we couldn’t have children at our wedding, we shouldn’t be having a wedding at all. After this, they decided not to come..until days before the wedding. We told them we had already submitted our numbers to vendors and apologized that we couldn’t accodomate them. We haven’t heard from them since…not even when we announced our pregnancy or when our son was born. A different family (Also on DH side) just didn’t show up. There were 5 of them. They didn’t let us know, no phone call, no text message….but one his cousins apologized to me on instagram days later! Not too tasteful….

Post # 86
Member
32 posts
Newbee

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emilyluwest:  I was in a wedding as bridesmaid. I help pay for a destination bachelorette weekend a destination wedding in Hawaii and gifted the couple $250 cash and never got a thank you card. I casually brought it up a year later because I was writing thank you notes for gifts, I said “did you send thank you notes for your wedding?” And she said yes and I told her that’s weird I didn’t get one and she said she didn’t send one say i then said ” I hope the $250 helped with the honeymoon” and she said she totally forgot we gave them money. 

 

Regardless of the money not even a thank you card for spending more than $3000 to attend and be a part of your wedding and taking time off work?

 

i was shocked to say the least.

Post # 87
Member
402 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

My sister’s wedding:  For space reasons, they could not invite cousins.  Only aunts and uncles.  Fine.  Well, my one aunt had stopped driving and had no way to get there, so my other aunt, her sister, takes it upon herself to call my sister and insist that they invite my aunt’s daughter so that she has a way to get there.  Of course my sister, who claims she is so bold and doesn’t let anyone tell her what to do, conceded and allowed her to come.  Of course, though, no one bothered to ask anyone else if they could pick up my aunt first.  My uncle, another aunt and even my boyfriend,(now FI) said they would have been happy to go and get her.  What is rude about this is that my aunt is always talking about how people are tacky and she is one of the tackiest people out there when it comes to manners.

At the same wedding, my mom’s brother and wife called the day of the wedding, and asked if his two kids and their spouses were invited!  My mom said that no cousins were invited.  When we arrived at the venue, all six of them were there!  And this venue was not in town!  They saw the other cousin there, and promptly left, even though they left a card.  Awkward!

Oh, and during photos, they did a group shot of my sister with my parents and all the aunts and uncles.  My sister and I were supposed to be in this photo, but I was outside for a moment and my sister was in the ladies room.  They took the photo, without us, with my cousin sitting there holding my father’s hand! (I don’t like her anyway!)  The groom wasn’t even in the photo.  i

The food was horrible, and the meat wasn’t done properly.  I was so hungry by the end of the night, we ordered pizza when we went home.

Post # 88
Member
1245 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - San Francisco, CA

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BBCRats:  Awful! I can’t imagine!

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indianweddingstudio:  I’ve never understood this. Why do people not realize that vendors are, you know, people and would probably appreciate snacks/bottled water/etc as much as your “official” guests? How disgusting. So sorry this happened to you.

This thread is always so … enlightening :-/

Post # 89
Member
82 posts
Worker bee

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Sfcali:  omg…..my relationship and feelings towards this person would be stretched very thin. That is horrible. At least you got to see Hawaii, but that still blows on a epic level.

Post # 90
Member
929 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2013

A guest that we invited out of obligation (father’s girlfriend wanted her invited), has no SO. Not even a casual bf. We had a very intimate, family only wedding in a tiny church. She informed us she would be bringing a guest, so we cut down an invite of someone we really wanted there to ‘accomodate’ her, then she showed up alone. Cost us an extra $150 and the space of someone we would have loved to see at our wedding. She has since done this at every wedding I know she has been invited to since.

My cousin didnt come to my wedding because, and I quote, “hotels are too far away, so she cant get drunk – so whats the point in coming”. Might i add – she is 32.

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