I got married a couple weeks after my 18th birthday because I’d had a baby at 17, and where I grew up, you ‘fixed your mistakes’ by getting married. I know that this scenario does work out for some people, but unfortunately it was definitely unable to work for me and my marriage lasted all of six months.
To this day, some of the things that his family did stand out as the rudest things I’ve ever experienced. I wish I had known at 17 that people who are close to their rude, crazy family are going to be exactly like that family when they get you alone or feel stressed – even if they say they are totally different.
1) His mother was constantly complaining that she didn’t have a dress made for her wedding, and it was unfair. (My gran sewed my dress because this was the cheapest option for us.) The local fabric store held the dress for a while because the lady there installed the zip, as my Gran wasn’t confident with that. Because Mother-In-Law knew this, she went in there and demanded she be the first to see the dress, because she’d never had a dress made for her. When they said no, she shoved the lady over and ran out the back to see the dress, then called me to say, ‘I saw the dress before you, I hope you don’t enjoy it as much now.'<br />I actually didn’t care that she saw it first, but shoving people is never okay.
2) Mother-In-Law threw a huge tantrum (swearing, crying) because she wasn’t in the wedding party. We gave her a solo song to sing to make her feel better, which she wanted mentioned on the invitations.
3) His two sisters then joined in this tantrum, so I added them as bridesmaids to keep the peace. They wouldn’t wear the coverups for a winter evening wedding and then complained about being freezing, wouldn’t be in photos, and then the older one used the wedding reception to announce her engagement.
4) I received two horrible RSVPs from his uncles; one saying ‘I will not attend a wedding between my nephew and a whore’ and another saying, ‘we dont’ want to come to your shit wedding.’
5) He wanted a balloon arch and was really angry when I told him that my family (who paid for everything) couldn’t afford the $1000.00 version he wanted.
Never have I known a family that would call one another fat, lazy s*** or c**** at the top of their lungs in the carpark at a wedding. It was absolutely mad.
Also, not rude, but definitely added to the whole feel of the wedding… He got arrested for arson the day after the wedding, before we left for honeymoon. I didn’t know anything about this because we had not lived together prior to the wedding. I was absolutely shocked.
All in all it was just a fairly nightmare experience, and I should have known from how sick I felt walking in that it wasn’t going to work. I have said for a long time that when I get married again, I just want to get married to somebody I’m happy to marry and who is happy to marry me.