(Closed) What was the worst part of your wedding?

posted 13 years ago in Married Life
Post # 17
Member
5398 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Avocado: So, what if you did ask on the list they asked you to provide, but it didn’t happen that day and it slipped your mind because you were being pulled in a million different directions.  Then, what do you do or how should you feel about it?

Post # 18
Member
169 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2021 - LDS Seattle Temple & Hotel 1000

@Lillindy-I think that is where it gets really hard. Then you have something to be frustrated about (as long as you list wasn’t 300 items long. It would be such a Herculean feat to achieve something like that!)

 But if you provide your photographer with a list of say, 50 things, and in the group shots you asked to have one of you and your favorite Grandma, or you and your Mom and Dad and it for some reason didn’t happen, then you have a reason to be a little bit mad.

I think that you should talk to your photographer about it, so that they know what a disappointment it was, and so it hopefully won’t happen to toerh brides. And I think it should be included in any online reviews you provide.

What you should NOT do is trash your photographer over this one little thing, especially if the rest of your photos were really great. For example my mom asks her brides for a Top 10 list of photos they want (and the list always goes over 10). One of the brides wrote on her list that she wanted picture of her manicure (why she wanted a picture of her toes I have no idea), and my mom grabbed one. The bride hates that one shot and proceeded to trash my mom on the review site my mom uses, not ever explaining the situation, just using hyperbolic statements like "She doesn’t capture any of the shots you ask for."

 

Post # 19
Member
169 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2021 - LDS Seattle Temple & Hotel 1000

Oh, the thing Iw as going to add…

If you have people you want to take pictures with, tell them. Say "Grandma, it’s really important for me to get a picture with just you on the wedding day!" or "Uncle Joe, make sure you grab me after the cake cutting for a quick shot." Then there will be three people thinking about the photos that need to be taken and they are much more likely to occur. 

Post # 20
Member
329 posts
Helper bee
  • V
  • 13 years ago

Avocado, I think you’re biased because there’s photographers in your family. A photographer should be creative and resourceful without prodding from the bride on HER wedding day…in my opinion, that’s why the get the big bucks!

A bride has a million things going on that day to worry about what her "professional" photographer is doing. 

If a bride is not satisfied after the fact and the pictures are NOT the quality she paid for…she can rant all she wants. 

Post # 21
Member
536 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2021 - The Desmond Hotel in Malvern, PA

Honestly, for me, the worst part was that it ended! The night went way too quickly. One thing I wish had gone a little differently is that I wish I had asked for the reception to be extended 15 minutes, since they didn’t let our guests into the ballroom until 15 minutes after they were supposed to (they were running late setting up). In the grand scheme of things it’s not a big deal and it’s only 15 minutes, but I wish I had at least asked — they might have granted my request and I think our DJ would have been cool with it, too.

Post # 23
Member
5398 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Penguin: Thanks Pengy!  I really wish I would have gone to a discount shop in the end, maybe that’s where my dream dress was hiding.  And even if not and I didn’t love my dress at least I wouldn’t be guilty about not loving it and it costing too much.  I already told the hubs I want a wedding renewal and he just laughed, but I was like UH, I’m serious here buddy.

Avocado:  I’m not going to go out there and say you are necessarily biased & I appreciate you giving a photographer’s point of view.  My list wasn’t crazy long, probably right around that 50 mark.  She had a list and had me fill out info and add to it, which I did.  Like on the list I asked to get a photo of me, the hubs, and the flowegirl…photo never happened.  Or him with just the flowergirl, and me with just the ring boy…never happened.  There were 2 whole groups of families that we also never got photos with, and while we should have remembered we paid her a quite a bit of money and provided her with a list so she would be the one to be responsible to remember that day.  And the group photos she did get, I don’t think it’s too much to ask from a "professional" to actually make it so that you can see everyone’s faces…even if that inclues standing on a little stool/ladder.  It also had something on there about images of the church, except she didn’t get any of us outside of it.  Next to recessional on the list, I put us exiting the church…didn’t get that photo either.  And there’s other photos.  I guess she just really made me feel rushed with the family photos in the church, but my husband told her they were the most important of the day, since it could be our only photos with those people from the whole day.  She just seemed like she was more interested in what she referred to as "fun shots" in the nearby downtown area.  We did those photos and I wanted them as well, but we expressed our priorities to her and I guess I feel like she didn’t properly understand them. 

As far as online reviews, I will make a point to be specific and as upset I am about some of the photos I don’t plan on bashing her because she truly is a nice person.  She’s somewhat newer in the field.  She’s been in it for a while, but is now branching off on her own and maybe that’s part of the problem.  I just expected a little more considering how crazy expensive she was.  I like the idea of telling people that you want photos with them, but some people told us after we always looked busy and they were never sure of when the right time was to ask us to take photos with them.

Cupcake: On a day like your wedding day 15 minutes could make such a big difference, I don’t blame you!  Shoot, that little bit of time would have given me time to dance at least once and enjoy a drink from the open bar we paid for!   Don’t cha just hate how hindsight is 20/20?

 

Post # 24
Member
139 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2021

ahhh! this thread gives me anxiety! it makes me want to re-evaluate every decision i’ve already made.  i probably should have waited until AFTER everything was over to read it. oops.

Post # 25
Member
208 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

The worst part was that I didn’t do a Father-Daughter dance. We ended up leaving out the dances, because everyone was having such a good time mingling and we we didn’t want to kill the mood. DH and I were disappointed to not have done our first dance (he had even taken dance lessons for it!) but what really depressed me was not dancing with my dad. I had the PERFECT song for us – really the only part of the wedding I had planned before engagement – and I know it would have meant a lot to him AND me. That said, I still think it would have been awkward to break up the reception. I’ve been thinking about having the dance on our one year anniversary or Father’s Day.

Hehe, and we forgot the rings! We didn’t realize until the ceremony was started. DH sent his best man to get them (they were just in a back room), but he couldn’t find them… so then DH left to get them. So there I was, standing up there alone! I thought it was really funny. The only sad thing is that DH and his best man felt AWFUL, so I don’t like it when people bring it up.

Post # 26
Member
260 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2008

There were things that went wrong and our DOC didn’t know how to handle unique situations, so a lot went missed.  But my biggest regret was that I was really stressed out with the planning and by the time the wedding came I felt like an overworked housewife instead of a blushing bride. In some ways, the wedding became a negative experience in our relationship.  In the end, I was taking care everything: all the details, schedules, managing both families, and all the plans for the honeymoon.  I think I should have had more conversations with my husband about the expectations for planning and really found something to balance out the workload. 

The best thing that happenned was my mom finally had a conversation with me the night before the wedding, and I was able to relax for the wedding day. I could tell how much it helped because in my rehersal photos I looked stressed out, bossy, and unattactive.  On my wedding day, I completely calmed down and looked great. 

 

Post # 27
Member
416 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2008 - Imperia Hotel (modern chic hotel)

I HATED my photographer… plus to make things worst, the place we wanted to take pics well… we werent allowed. I was so angry!!!! Especially since I inquired before hand to see if we could and I had the green light.

I also HATED my moms reaction throughtout the day. She kept telling everyone that she hated my hair. I tried to suck it in, but it really hurt my feelings, especially since I felt I was the prettiest bride… and glowed!

Post # 28
Member
2022 posts
Buzzing bee

I was hoping to read that the worst part of my wedding day is "that it is over"….!

Post # 29
Member
68 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2008

Ufff… my flowers.  They came dead.  Like, brown, wilted, dead.  It was the week of all the flooding in Iowa, so my florist got flooded.  She tried her very best with what she had, but they were still dead.  It actually made for some really funny pictures, because we took several group shots of us holding the flowers.  My florist later issued me a full refund for the flowers, but it was still a bit of a downer to not have the gorgeous bouquet that I had been dreaming of and pining over.

Post # 30
Member
17 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: November 2021

I didn’t care much for my bouquet.  It was mostly my fault because I didn’t think I cared much about flowers so I didn’t really ask for anything very specific.  Honestly the worst part my stupid bustle.  I had a really really nice lady alter my dress and the bustle looked fine at her place.  But once I got the reception it looked weird and poofed out in the wrong spots.  And everytime I sat and danced anything that wasn’t a slow dance it fell down.  Now it’s torn because we put like million safety pins in it trying to get it to stay up.  And the safety pins couldn’t hold the weight so I ended up spending the last couple hours holding it up by the string handle thing the dress comes with.  I was just annoyed that I spent so many times throughout the night trying to safety pin it back up.  Oh and my maid of honor being a real dud the whole night was crappy too, she spent most of the night on the phone with her boyfriend in the bathroom and left before the reception was over.

 As far as the whole photographer discussion.  I think it is hard from both points of view.  As a bride you want everything to be perfect, and all you can think about is how you can never go back to that day and get those pictures.  But as a photographer I don’t think there is anyway you can get it just perfect.  There are a few shots I said I wanted that I didn’t get, but I got many many good pictures that I did want.  I don’t like looking back at my day and being depressed, so I just try to look at everything I did get. 

Post # 31
Member
367 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

I was actually a bit disappointed that all my girls wanted to get ready in their respective hotel rooms, so I didn’t get to have the fun get ready together time that I have seen in many of the bees photos.  Also, since we weren’t getting ready all together, everyone had different timelines of their own so some of the girls ended up arriving a little later than I had wanted which cut down on our photo time quite a bit and I didn’t really get a lot of bridal party photos.  This just proves to me that I should have been more strict I guess on when the bridal party should arrive to the site. I still have plenty of wonderful photos, but there are a few that I wish we had gotten to do…

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