What was your living situation when baby came?

posted 1 month ago in Waiting to TTC
  • poll: What was your living situation when baby came?

    We were renting when baby arrived

    We bought a home before baby arrived

    We don't plan on ever owning a home

    Other (please explain)

  • Post # 16
    Member
    198 posts
    Blushing bee

    I think people are too co seemed with being “ready”. Yes, it’s good to have some type of financial stability beifr shaving kids but it’s fine to rent, it’s fine to be in an apartment instead did a house, it’s fine not to have one room for the kid immediately, it’s fine if you don’t have a high paying job yet, it’s fine if everything is not 100% ready.

    Post # 17
    Hostess
    2583 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2017

    We will be renting for a while with no plans to purchase a home any time soon. That being said we didn’t want to wait for that to have a baby.

    Post # 18
    Member
    1100 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2019

    I think that people are far too obsessed with home ownership (a trap I fall into as well!). Renting has a lot of perks!

    I didn’t vote, because I’m not sure (not TTC yet, unsure of how long it’ll take when we do). We’d planned to buy this summer, but COVID threw that off, so we’re renting for at least another year. If TTC happens fairly soon/easily, we may be in an apartment for a few months with a baby. 

    Babies don’t care if you own a house, and owning a house isn’t an inherent sign of financial stability. I know plenty of people who are great with money and rent, and plenty of house poor people who own. I’d never put off TTC if everything else were in order just to buy. 

    Post # 19
    Member
    9481 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper

    We owned, but I don’t think it matters at all if you own or rent so long as you’re able to give a baby a wonderful loving home. I’ve mostly lived in big cities where it’s more common than not to rent and people still raise great humans.

    Post # 20
    Member
    2178 posts
    Buzzing bee

    We were renting when we had our first and bought a house when we were pregnant with number two.  We’re not in medicine but live in a high cost of living area.  I was 37 when I had our first and 38 for the second.  31 is not that old to be worrying about having time for babies.  

    Post # 21
    Member
    1424 posts
    Bumble bee

    I would try your best to not get hung up on age and fear and timelines. You have no idea how long it will take you at any age to get pregnant. 

    Post # 22
    Member
    2722 posts
    Sugar bee

    I’m honestly confused about your concern. You’ll be living rent free in a house owned by your parents and you want to be more secure than that? That’s about as secure and privileged as it gets, and a MUCH better position than most are in. I understand you won’t have a huge amount of income compared to debt, and that you wanted to have your own house by now, but you’re also going to be a doctor and will be able to beef up your savings, pay off those loans, and buy a home in a reasonable timeframe. In the meantime your parents are giving you a tremenous gift in providing a house you can live in at a huge discount and raise a family in, should you choose.

    Post # 23
    Member
    4136 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: April 2016 - Manhattan, NY

    View original reply
    @timetopanicytopenia:  Our downstairs tenant and good friend is a surgeon with significant student loan debt. She could afford a mortgage with what she pays us for her large apartment, but I’m not sure about a down payment. She’s recently cracking down and becoming more serious about her budget, but I think she has a long way to go. She’s early 30s and I don’t think quite ready for that next step though. 

    On the flipside, this is our starter home and would comfortably accommodate 1 child. I may be pregnant now (fingers crossed) and our plan has always been to live in this fun part of town until our first child is near school age then buy a bigger home in the burbs, keeping this one as a rental property. We didn’t anticipate me working from home indefinitely so things are getting a little tight, as my husband used one of the bedrooms for his home office pre-COVID, we have our bedroom, and the third is my temporary home office and future nursery. It’s a possibility that I could still be working from home when our future child comes, so things will definitey be a bit more cramped than we planned, but we’ll make do. 

    Post # 24
    Member
    290 posts
    Helper bee

    We’ll be renting, as buying is not feasible in our area, even with above average salaries. I don’t think owning a home is necessary before having kids. It some cases, it might even be detrimental, as some people overextend their financial means in order to buy a home because they think they need to. Of course, if I could afford a place with a big backyard, I’d definitely do it! But so many babies start out in 1-bedroom rentals and everyone turns out just fine. 

    Post # 25
    Member
    290 posts
    Helper bee

    View original reply
    @timetopanicytopenia:  Also, I’m slightly insulted that you think one needs to own a home to have their  “lives together”…lol. 

    Post # 26
    Member
    1416 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: June 2019 - City, State

    “Growing up I always had this fantasy of getting married, buying a home, and then having the baby.”

    Yes but now you’re an adult and must live your real life.  Childhood fantasies aren’t meant to dictate our adult decisions.  But if home ownership takes precedence over having children, then you should probably wait to have kids.

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