(Closed) What was your "marriage talk" like?

posted 3 years ago in Engagement
Post # 16
Member
1607 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

By the third date we had established that each of us wanted to get married and we weren’t interested in dating “just for fun.” So we established fairly early on that if the relationship continued, it was headed towards marriage. After about a month we had the initial “if this was your ideal relationship, how long would you date before getting engaged and how long of an engagement would you want?” conversation and luckily we were generally on the same page. After about three months, it was established that this wasn’t just theoretical, but that we actually wanted to marry each other. 

11 months dating, four month engagement, basically exactly what we had discussed. 

Post # 17
Member
10685 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: City, State

We were driving  somewhere and there was a sign for an upcoming bridal  fair.

He said:  We should go to that.

What?!

We did end up going.  There’s really no putting the toothpaste back in the tube after that.

Post # 18
Member
3823 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

sdarrach25 :  We dated for 6 months before getting engaged. We went out to brunch every Sunday after church and we talked about all kinds of stuff for hours so the conversation of marriage and family naturally it came up a lot.

The actual talk happened without me being aware of it. I was just joking around with him while we were heading up to NYC to hang out with friends. I asked him “so when are you going to make an honest woman out of me?” He said “as soon as you tell me what kind of ring you want. I spoke with my jeweler and he needs to know the style and finger size.” So when we got to NY I tried on some rings and picked one out. We were engaged 7 weeks later on Christmas eve/day (it was midnight when he proposed).

Post # 20
Member
5113 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: December 2014

It was always kind of just assumed that we were going to get married from very early on in our relationship, I don’t actually remember a specific converation. One day in the car he asked me if we should get married on Christmas when my parents were visiting and that was it. We didn’t have a traditional proposal. 

Post # 21
Member
1183 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

Early on in our dating, I told him that I wanted to get married and be a family and wasn’t dating just to date. I also said I wouldn’t wait forever and that if he didn’t know he was ready around the 2 year dating mark, to let me go. πŸ˜‚ I’m bossy, apparently! I knew what I wanted and wasn’t going to waste my time. He understood.

After dating for about 6 months, we talked about moving in together at a point in the future and I told him that I didn’t want to take that step unless we were engaged. We delayed the move in until this past July and were engaged a month later on our two year anniversary. He definitely listened!! 2 years on the dot. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ Although I’m fairly certain that was a coincidence, as he’d wanted to propose earlier, but the moment wasn’t right.

During those two years we talked about marriage a lot, children, buying a family home together, etc. It has been a regular topic of conversation because we both wanted that future.

 

Post # 22
Member
304 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

After 2 years or so, we started talking about moving in together. We had talked about not wanting to move in unless we saw marriage in our future before, so it was kind of implied at that point.

After 2.5 years, I asked if we could start looking at engagement rings, or at least start discussing engagement. He said yes – and had started saving for a ring several months before that, but I didn’t know πŸ™‚ After that we discussed timelines for getting engaged and married in more general terms, but I didn’t want to control it too much! He proposed a little while after that.

Post # 24
Member
2699 posts
Sugar bee

sdarrach25 :  That sounds like a pretty sure thing to me. He didn’t hesitate, cough, burp, fart… Put it out of your mind and don’t let it make you insane. I bet it’s coming soon!

Post # 25
Member
1352 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2017 - The Lodge at Little Seneca Creek

Well, we “met” online about 15 years before we finally met in person. When we met in person, we already knew each other really well. At the end of our one-week visit, we both knew we wanted to be together. He moved in with me 2 months later, and about a month or so after that, we started talking about marriage and set a timeline. Our 3-year anniversary is next week, and we’ll be getting married exactly 4 years after we first met each other. πŸ™‚

Post # 26
Member
473 posts
Helper bee

He had been married before, has a child and is 17 years older than me. I had just got out of a relationship that was going nowhere, so I wanted to knew we were on the same page. After our first “date” (which turned into a three day event) I asked if he would want to get married again and have more children. I meant generally, but he responded so enthusiatically that we started talking about getting married from that point. He didnt officially ask me until we had been together for a year and a half because he wanted to get me a ring first.

Post # 27
Member
2758 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

I always knew that we both wanted to get married, and that we were meant for eachother very early on in our relationship. 1.5 years into our relationship, after living together for six months, he told me “I am going to propose to you in a year.” Simple as that, and he stuck to his word, proposing one year later when we had been dating for 2.5 years (both 23 yrs old)! Now getting married next summer right before our 4 year anniversary πŸ™‚ 

Post # 28
Member
549 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

Shortly after my SO and I met we discussed the major issues; kids, marriage, retirement, spending habits, religion, where we wanted to live. We agreed on being CFBC, on working towards early retirement, and perhaps retiring to another country. He let me honestly know that marriage wasn’t anything he desired and wasn’t something he imagined for himself. I agreed on that front as well. I’d never imagined myself marrying. 

Well, we dated for about 6 months and he moved in. Life together was blissful and comforting, and fun. We had a talk about marriage again. It seems we both had warmed to the idea! A few months later, we discussed a timeline and I let him know that though I knew I wanted to marry, I thought we should wait a bit. After that discussion, I couldn’t get the idea of marrying out of my head. So on July 4th, only a month after saying to wait, I let him know I was completely ready if he was. And he was! We began ring shopping that next weekend. 

I still don’t have the ring, but it will be here next weekend. Once it arrives he will “officially propose”, whatever that means. I just know I’m excited . 

Any of my friends that I’ve told are so surprised that I’m getting married. I just feel so strongly about my SO and I couldn’t imagine growing old with anyone else. It’s also been amazing to see his views on marriage and relationships change as well. It’s a really great feeling to know we have done the unexpected together, and we will become husband and wife. 

 

Post # 29
Member
549 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

ecampbell :  wow! A 15 year long online relationship! What kept you apart all those years? Was it a monogamous relationship for that time period, or more casual? Sorry for prying, I’m just curious. 

Post # 30
Member
1352 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2017 - The Lodge at Little Seneca Creek

honeybadgered :  Whoops! I probably should have mentioned we weren’t in a relationship that whole time. We were just friends at the beginning, and then we “dated” for a couple of years when we were teenagers, but we wanted to be in physical relationships, so we mutually broke up but still kept in touch. We started drifting apart after a few months, but we checked in with each other via AIM or e-mail at least once every year…Then about 6 months after I got out of a long-term relationship and wasn’t having any luck in the dating scene, I found him on Facebook, and we started talking almost non-stop. He decided to visit me after about 4 months of our reconnection. So even though we knew each other for almost 15 years, it was only about 4 months of feeling like we were in a real online relationship (not counting the “dating” when we were teenagers).

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