(Closed) What was your "marriage talk" like?

posted 3 years ago in Engagement
Post # 31
Member
1352 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2017 - The Lodge at Little Seneca Creek

honeybadgered :  I’m glad you found someone you feel like you want to marry! My FI’s mom was so surprised when he told her he wanted to marry me because he’d always been so against marriage (after seeing his mother go through 2 failed marriages), so she knew I must be special. Something similar happened with my cousin, and he’s been happily married for 6 years. I can’t wait to see pictures of your ring when you get it! ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 32
Member
549 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

ecampbell :  Aww, that’s a very sweet story, and makes more sense than 15 years of online dating. I’m glad it all worked out of you!

Hopefully I have the ring in a week, and I am sure I’ll post!

Post # 33
Member
59 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2017

About three weeks ago we were making a trip to the mall and he mentioned he would be going to the jewelers in a few weeks, then last night he said he would be proposing before my birthday this year and wanted to know if I’d be okay with that….. So nothing too formal lol very sweet though 

Post # 34
Member
1920 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2016 - Gorse Hill, Surrey, UK

I basically told him one night when I was leaving after myabe our 4th or 5th date that he better not be stringing me along as I was in this for th elong haul, and he agreed. I few years later I brought it up again and asked if one day he would like us to get married and he said definitely, so here wer are 7 years later and married for nearly 6 months! he had been married before so I was worried he’d been scared off the topic, thankfully not ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 35
Member
3446 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2017 - City, State

The idea of marriage was brought up about a month into dating when I asked where he saw himself in 5 years and he said married to me with one or two kids. That was the initial marriage “talk”. Got engaged 8 months later.

Post # 36
Member
945 posts
Busy bee

How long into the relationship?

Around 7 months in I think when we brought up the topic for the first time. Around 9 months when we started having more frequent detailed discussions, because we wanted to be sure of each other and where we are heading. 

We’re now waiting for me to finish grad school and buy a house first before getting married as he’s quite firm on having something “substantial” to show my parents before marrying me lol. 

Post # 37
Member
658 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2016

We started talking about marriage a month or so before we hit the one year mark while we were dating. Though it didn’t happen all at once. It was gradual and started when (now) husband moved into his own place. We started talking about how it would be nice for us to live together since we want to see each other every day after work, but it was difficult since I lived about 45 minutes away. It was clear to us that if we knew we wanted to be together, it didn’t make sense fiscally to have me find my own place closer to him and then move in. That, combined with the fact that due to my student visa (long story), I only have a few months left. So marriage was a logical topic that came up, and he ended up popping the question two months after our one year dating anniversary. We had about a six month engagement. Now we’ve been married for almost three months ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 38
Member
506 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2017

Since we are both older, late 20s to early 30s, when we met, we both went in knowing that we were looking for a lifetime committment.  We were both raised to value marriage so that was never not an option.  We joked a lot about what marriage would be like together and our future children. 

After waiting nearly 4 years, I did mention to him that by now we both should know if we wanted to be married.  If not, we should re-evaluate our relationship.  I wasn’t asking for a ring tomorrow but I wanted to make sure that he knew I was going to wait years and years to get married.  Little did I know that by that time, he was already looking rings.  We were engaged 3 months later during our 4th anniversary trip. 

Post # 39
Member
4093 posts
Honey bee

sdarrach25 :  We were dating for two and a half years. We went for a quiet weekend at a resort and went for a fancy dinner. It just flowed out during our conversation that night but no specific details were discussed. We just let each other know we wanted to be together in the future. He did not propose until the following year. I had no idea when it was coming. 

Post # 40
Member
2493 posts
Buzzing bee

SO initially brought up a commited future at about 5 months. We were on a LONG drive up into the mountains for a weekend getaway, playing the question game, and he asked, “what’s your biggest fear regarding our relationship?” I had recently decided I wanted to marry him, but I thought that was way too serious and pressurey to answer honestly – but I didn’t want to make something up, so I said I wanted to pass. We usually answer our own questions after the other person answers, so (with zero hesitation) he said his biggest fear was that I’d want kids sooner than him. (I’m 4 years older)

I burst out laughing because a) he was just taking it for granted we’d get married, while I sat over here paralyzed to even breathe a word of that hope, and b) I’m in ZERO rush to have kids. 

Soon after that, we had an actual discussion about the fact that we wanted to get married to each other.

Around 7 month mark, he asked me to move in but said he wanted to wait until after our one-year mark to discuss specifics. 

Around 9 month mark, he said he wanted to discuss specifics now instead of waiting, and gave me his timeline of married at 1.5 year mark, married at 3 year mark, which fit perfectly with MY preferred timeline.

Now we are just biding our time through the holidays, will start the ring creation process in January, and he’ll propose by next May/June. 

In terms of the lengthiness of the conversations… the first ones where short and cautious, then the middle ones got longer as my anxiety grew and I wanted extra reassurance, then the most recent ones have been short again as my anxiety has waned, since I now know specifics and trust him to follow through. 

I’m 31, SO is 27.

Post # 41
Member
3092 posts
Sugar bee

After only two months.

Him: ‘I will marry you one day’

Me: ‘I know’

Post # 42
Member
463 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

sdarrach25 :  mine was maybe a bit straight and direct for some but I had had my years “having fun” or “kissing frogs” and now knew I was happy to still have fun BUT nothing long and time waiting if it didn’t have a direction. So I told my now husband the night we met and he stayed over after meeting on SantaCon – we aren’t having sex tonight, we have had fun but that’s all it is as you are too young for me, seven years, and I want a long term relationship leading to marriage and kids and I’m 33 and not getting younger so whoever I fall for will need to do it sooner rather than later as my clock is ticking, so by 36 I want to be married and baby on way…. He said I maybe young but I am ready for that…

… I laughed it off….

Im now 36, he moved in with me after 6months, proposed after 1 year and 4 months, married this year May and we just found out this week we are having a baby ๐Ÿ˜Š He may be younger but he has the most direction, loyalty, and his word is his bond and I adore the man ๐Ÿ˜Š

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