(Closed) What was your "NOPE" moment?

posted 1 year ago in No Kids
Post # 76
Hostess
3176 posts
Sugar bee

catskillsinjune :  I don’t want to derail the thread. Please PM me.

For the record, I’m speaking of camenae, who didn’t mention anything about how great having a child is, she said everyone’s NOPE moments make sense to her, then referred to parenting as a necessary evil. That doesn’t sound like someone trying to invalidate the experiences of those who are CFBC, it sounds like she’s trying to offer support and understanding. (And she shot down the comment that “it’s different when they’re your kids and said….it isn’t.)

Post # 77
Member
1415 posts
Bumble bee

 des- :  Quoting directly from camenae: “I love my child but I do not enjoy parenting.  I view it as a necessary evil that I have to get through to get to the fun part.”

Clearly she  finds the “fun parts” rewarding enough to make up for parenting. Or in other words “it’s worth it in the end”.

I’d say that she’s the one derailing the thread.

Post # 78
Hostess
3176 posts
Sugar bee

bumblebug :  It’s unfortunate that you disagree with her, but this is an opinion forum. She’s allowed to post hers, so long as she doesn’t violate the TOS. I can no more stop her from that than I could you posting in the Parenting forum.

Ironically, it’s the CFBC Bees who are persisting in derailing this thread. I seem to be one of the only ones actually trying to keep the thread open. 

Post # 79
Member
484 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2016

NikkiBee18 :  That is the funniest thing I’ve read all day 😂 and another reason why we probably won’t be having them. 

Post # 80
Member
4559 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I think I always knew.

What has reinforced my decision is that most of the parents in my peer group seem so damn miserable and downtrodden with the demands of their young children. Have kids, they say. It’ll be fun! They say… 

Post # 81
Member
145 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

Comments removed for derailing the thread, baiting, and criticism of life choices.

  • This reply was modified 1 year ago by  des-.
Post # 82
Member
4559 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

sweetocean24 :  Wrong place to post this. Did you read the post and the responses? I think we all know babies grow up. Doesn’t make it more appealing to those of us who are CFBC.

Post # 83
Member
36 posts
Newbee

sweetocean24 :  Its great you feel this way. But this is clearly a post where it is about NOT wanting to feel this way.

 

 

Post # 84
Member
950 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

sweetocean24 :  something is only rewarding if you wanted that something to begin with.  My reasons for not wanting kids arent because toddlers are difficult or babies cry a lot.  I know those are only stages and that children can grow to be interesting and amazing people.   My nieces are growing into interesting and amazing people. I know how growing up works.   Here’s the thing though, being a parent just isn’t for me.  There is no part of that life I want.  I don’t see it as either fulfilling or rewarding.   I get that from other things in my life.  And while children can make up a family,  that does not mean that people without kids don’t have a family.   I have quite a big family.   Family is very important to me.  So please don’t come in here thinking that you’re educating us poor cfbc folk.  We get that parenting is for you but for whatever reason it’s just not for us.  You preaching about how it’s all worth it isn’t impacting some hidden truths upon us.

Post # 85
Member
299 posts
Helper bee

I’ve had it pretty ingrained in me since I was little. Even when I was around the age of 7, I thought that I wouldn’t get married until my 30’s after I establish a great career and have a lot of money and travel a lot. When I was even younger than that, my friends would have babydolls and we would play house, and I never wanted to be the “mommy”. I didn’t want to hold fake babies and now as an adult don’t want to ever hold a real one. I don’t like babies or kids and never have.

I have a lot of nope moments, especially when SO and I are out in public. We will hear a child scream or see them throw something, and we look at each other and literally go “nope!” I count my blessings everyday that I found a man that doesn’t want children just as much as I don’t, LOL!

Post # 86
Member
3389 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2021

twocaratpeony :  that’s awesome that you had that mindset from so young! So many of us just grow up with the assumption we will be Mommy’s one day without even questioning it.

As a child, I assumed that life followed a script because every adult I know was either married with multiple kids or was one of those going-nowhere, single people with no ambition that you most certainly didn’t want to look up to. Fortunately, as I got older I was exposed to more lifestyles and learned that life doesn’t follow or have to follow one particular script and it was honestly such a relief when I finally realised that having kids was totally optional! Once I realised that was an option it wasn’t even a question for me lol I have never wanted kids, not one bit.

Post # 87
Member
505 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2015

Let’s see…where to even begin…

1) Every time I see or witness a small child have a tantrum, bite/kick his/her mother, or start crying for no reason, another of my eggs shrivels and dies.

2) When hubby and I went to Disney for the first time back in January, I nearly got run over by SO. MANY. STROLLERS. The parents with small kids didn’t look like they were having much fun, and I couldn’t imagine trying to shuttle even one small kid through all the lines, potty breaks, snack breaks, etc.

3) I adore my toddler-age niece, but we hosted the in-laws for a weekend recently, and it took her five minutes to make us realize that we SUCK at baby-proofing our house. Plus we couldn’t socialize as much because she needed more attention. Totally understandable, but just something we weren’t used to handling.

4) Diapers. Enough said. I can dissect animals all day (biology teacher here!) but can’t stomach the thought of diapers. 

5) I just don’t feel the urge to be a mother. I get plenty of satisfaction from our pets and from working with my college students. I still feel like I’m impacting the next generation without contributing to the population.

Post # 88
Member
1959 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2018

 

Comment removed for derailing thread.

  • This reply was modified 1 year ago by  des-.
Post # 89
Member
2497 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I knew when I was 12-ish that I didn’t ever want kids. Most of the girls in my class were talking about growing up and getting married and being mommies and I wanted to be a scientist.

I dated one guy who said “you’ll change your mind later, once we’re married”; we broke up 6 months later. Another partner said “we’re not done till I have a son”; needless to say, that relationship ended about 1 week later. When I first started dating my now-husband, his daughters were tweens. I told him within the first 2 months that if he wanted more kids, he was with the wrong woman. 12 years later, I haven’t changed my mind and neither has he. 

No, thank you. We’ll stick to our dogs and our now adult kids. 

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