- 1 year ago
- Wedding: August 2019
I loved my baby dolls when I was a little kid. But I can’t remember a point in my life when I ever actually wanted a child. I think my hard NOPE moment when I truly decided against it was at age 13 when I was doing my research on the physical pregnancy process. The bodily changes, the emotional and hormonal ups and downs, the pain during labor, episiotomies and tearing, etc. I wondered why anyone would put themselves through it all. Then in my late teens, I started thinking about all the choices a parent has to make regarding how to raise their child in terms of ethics, belief systems, discipline, etc. It seemed like too much pressure. And then to know that your child is their own person – they are not an extension of you – and the way you raise them might not even stick. I decided that I didn’t want to ever force a person into existence.
I think part of why I think this way is because I am the youngest in my family and have never had any exposure to babies or toddlers – I’ve never had a pregnant friend or family member and I’ve never held a baby. Frankly, I have no desire to!
I am now 23 and getting married next year. I made it clear in the beginning of my relationship that I was not going to have children. My then-boyfriend was shocked at first since he always saw it as something that is “expected.” He didn’t know that he had a choice. And then he met me lol
I think I get my “motherly instinct” fix with my 3 cats. Raising two 2-week old kittens who needed to be fed, stimulated to relieve themselves, cleaned, etc every 3 hours was rough. I can’t imagine doing it with a human. I definitely think I COULD do it, but I don’t see it as worth it.