- Wedding: May 2017 - the garden house, seattle
it was so weird. i had no idea at all.
we’d been dating about three months. he told me early on that he’d never married because he didn’t like that the government and religion were involved. i was okay with that; not too long before i met him i told my best friend that i was never getting married again, not for anything, because i’d spent 12 years married to a bully and just no.
during the first few months we were dating, i was trying to get rid of a horrible roommate. The guy was intrusive (i’m pretty sure he deliberately listened to v and me having sex), his dog peed and pooped in the house when she felt like it, he didn’t contribute his fair share to the household, and he peed without lifting the seat, which i discovered by sitting in a puddle of cold pee one night. because he was such a dick and we needed privacy so badly (v’s apartment wasn’t a place we could go. long story), over memorial day weekend 2016 we holed up in a suburban sheraton. there may have been mind-altering substances involved. at one point, i was laughing because he was being cute in my fluffy white onesie with ears. i said, “i love you” and in a sudden intense moment he said that we had to be together forever however we could manage it, because he had decided that i was his last relationship. if i wanted marriage, that was okay, but it just had to happen.
i was stunned. i sat there nodding, trying to take it all in. i kept saying “okay,” which he thought meant yes and i thought meant wow, i cannot process this in my current state of mind. it was an utterly unexpected and awesome and beautiful moment.
we’d had plans to go to portland for a long weekend at a really cool hotel the next friday and when we got there, he sat me down on the edge of the bed and said, “you are my wife.” i looked at him, slightly confused. he said, “i mean, we have to get married first, but you are my wife.” then he asked me to marry him, please. i was full of joy and love and amusement at him for being so exactly him, and i said yes. he told me later the second proposal was so i would know he’d been dead serious about the first one.
the next day we went to a drag show. there was a drag queen announcing the performers and bantering with the audience between acts. at one point, he said, “okay, you two. i’ve been watching you. what’s your story?” i said he’d proposed last night, and everyone in the room went “awwww.” we’re the only people i know who were lucky enough to get the blessing of a drag queen.