(Closed) What wedding-related things make no sense to you?

posted 8 years ago in Traditions
Post # 3
Member
5494 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2011

I’ve never understood the “tradition” of the bride’s family paying for the wedding.  I mean, the groom is getting married just as much as the bride is.  Why isn’t his family expected/encouraged to contribute?

On another related money issue I don’t get parents who are paying for the wedding so they want everything their way.  If you want to be generous and help pay, do so but don’t use money as a way to control the event.  You had your wedding and this is not your round 2.

Post # 5
Member
460 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

The expense is ridiculous for saying the word wedding, some venues charge twice as much for a wedding as they would for a corporate meeting.

The brides family paying… Way outdated.

But you HAVE to wear white, you won’t look like a bride in any other color.

The people who say if “so and so” is coming I don’t need an invite.

Post # 6
Member
2859 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011 - Bartram's Garden

I don’t understand brides who get bent SO out of shape if someone else wears white to their wedding. Yes, it is in poor taste, and it reflects poorly on the wearer, but everyone is going to know who the bride is, and it’s not worth getting upset over.

I don’t get when vendors charge double or more for services when they find out that it’s for a wedding.

It makes no sense to me when parents insist on inviting all of these people who don’t know the couple and who the couple don’t know.

I’m sure there are a lot more, but it’s early and I’m still not fully awake.

Post # 7
Member
321 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2011 - Anthony’s Fine Dining

I’ve never understood the traditional superstition that if you cut or break a ribbon from a shower present, you’re going to get pregnant.  I guess it’s supposed to be cute, but my friends and I have just ended up looking ridiculous opening presents because we’re trying to do it ever so gingerly.

Post # 8
Member
756 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

I don’t understand parents wanting to invite people who don’t even know the bride and groom.

I don’t understand some people’s fixation on tradition…for example, my mother apparently thinking there is something wrong with me because I don’t want an engagement ring. The horror!

Something I never really noticed until I joined weddingbee, but am baffled by, is women who are so fixated on getting engaged, dropping hints, trying to figure out when the proposal will happen, etc.  Why is it such a huge issue?  Why can’t you just be with your Boyfriend or Best Friend and be happy, whether you’re engaged or not?  No offense to anyone here…I just don’t get it.

Post # 9
Member
1137 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

1. MOHs. I have my brothers and sister-in-law (brother’s wife) standing up for me, and my Future Mother-In-Law keeps asking me who my Maid/Matron of Honor is. I tell her “I don’t have one. All three are equal”. She keeps INSISTING that I need to have a Maid/Matron of Honor, but when I ask why, she can’t come up with any other reason than it’s a “tradition”. Um…. I’m having 2 guys standing up for me, I think tradition is out the window at this point.

2. To continue on this point: Having all female Bridesmaid or Best Man and all male Groomsmen. Unless the closest people to you are actually all the same sex, I don’t understand why you have to un-include your oposite sex friends/family from your bridal party just because they don’t wear a dress. Never made ANY sense to me.

3. Having everyone buy the same outfit. The only reason people can give me for this is that it will look better in the pictures. My opinion is that if someone gets to choose their own outfit, they will probably feel better in it and therefore look better in the pictures. Plus, they’ll probably actually wear it again, which is a plus for everyone!

4. Addressing envelopes “Mr. and Mrs. Husband’s Full Name”. I just can’t get over the fact that the woman in the relationship doesn’t even get her name on the invite. Once again, I was told this was the “traditional way to address an envelope”. We compromised on “Husband First and Wife First Last Name”

I have about 100 more. We’re having a fairly unconventional wedding because a lot of wedding-related things make no sense to me…

Post # 10
Member
1766 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

The supersticious tradtions, especially the bouquet toss and (Yuck!) sleeping with a piece of the wedding cake under you pillow.

Post # 12
Member
4547 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

It REALLY bothers me how many people we’ve ended up inviting that we barely know (or don’t know at all). For example, when Fiance was going through his mother’s list, there was a last name on there that he did not even recognize! His mother insisted they be invited but honestly when I asked him who they were he had not a clue! Finally, after talking to him mom he “thinks he knows who they are” and “thinks he’s met them once. Um what? Seriously? This is supposed to be about people who are CLOSE to us. Not people we may or may not have ever met!

It also bothers me that Future Father-In-Law keeps saying there’s all these people from work he needs to invite. To be fair, Fiance and Future Father-In-Law work together but Fiance isn’t close to these people and let’s be honest here people, weddings are EXPENSIVE!

I also don’t like the whole the bride can’t see the groom the night before the wedding. I honestly don’t get it. Who cares? I know the tradition of where it came from but this is 2010! Time to break some traditions.

Post # 13
Member
604 posts
Busy bee

@Treasure43: Not seeing the groom before the wedding I think is sweet and builds up anticipation for the next day not like you need more, but its still sweet.

Post # 14
Member
1766 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

@Chipmunk: Yes, if a single person does that, they supposedly dream of their future spouse.  (And then have time the next day to think about the dream while washing their sheets.)

Post # 15
Member
1641 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

There are quite a few things!

I don’t understand why brides get so bent if another person they know or are related to gets engaged/has a wedding around the same time as theirs. Every wedding is unique and nobody owns their dates/venue/guest list.

I will never understand why people let others tell them what to do, what to wear, or who to invite. If you don’t like the dress, don’t buy it just because Mom likes it. If you don’t want children at your wedding, don’t have them. It is not for other people to say that weddings are about family, or you should have a white dress. Do your wedding as YOU want it. Your wedding is about you and your husband to be. I cannot believe how many times I have read that someone wrote kids names into an invite. That is just plain rude and ignorant.

I don’t understand in this day and age why anyone would expect their parents to pay for their wedding. That tradition came about long ago, before women worked.
 Parents not only paid but women came into the marriage knowing their husbands had been paid to take them. I think it is great for parents to help out if they want to and can, but to expect it?

I don’t understand why women “hint” at engagements or other things with men, then get mad when men don’t get it. Well, men usually DON’T get hints, and honestly, do you want to spend your life with poor communication in your relationship? If you want something, ask for it- no whining or yelling, how about a conversation?

Finally, I absolutely DESPISE it when men say “the wife”. I didn’t realize getting married made you an object, with no name. I have always hated this, it makes me nuts.

Oh yes, and I personally really don’t like paper bells, doves, and any other “traditional” decoration, but see number 2- do/have the things they way you want!

LOL- I think I have PMS today!

Post # 16
Member
4547 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Another thing that I’m not a huge fan of is the clinking of glasses. FI’s family has started doing this at dinners and I have a feeling by the end of the night I’m going to be all clinked out 😛

@Chipmunk: I think I’m more confused by how adament people get that you shouldn’t see the groom before the wedding. Sure it’s a sweet idea, but that doesn’t mean it’s a big deal if the couple doesn’t want to do it.

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