Post # 1
Newbie here – I had a destination wedding in Cuba in 2011 and it was AMAZING – would do it all over again, but believe me when I say it was the biggest roller coaster ride just getting to the day.
I’m now planning my best friend’s wedding and all the memories are coming back lolol I wish I had a reality show!
I kicked my maid of honor out of the wedding party. We eventually made up due to family intervention. Mind you, I was NOT a bridezilla by any means, but when you continually ask your maid of honor who is also your sister to order her dress and she procrastinates until there are only 2 months left and she has no choice but to go off the rack and you are annoyed but take her shopping anyway, but she is by no means a size 4, 6 or even 10, and then gets mad at YOU for taking her to stores where you allegedly “know the dresses won’t fit”…it can get a bit overwhelming, and then you have an all out shouting match in public which results in one of you storming out of the store and ignoring all subsequent phone calls.
Our solution – after I had a couple days to cool off, we drove to New York and thank goodness found something beautiful, otherwise I would have either had a stroke or throttled my sister to death.
The best man dropped out a month before the wedding. Worst and most lame excuse ever…he said he was moving out of his parents’ house and needed his $$ for a deposit on his new condo. That was disappointing, especially since he’d had notice and agreed to be in the wedding a full year in advance – he could have given us the courtesy of a heads up. I was livid. My husband was strangely indifferent, which only made me more mad.
Solution: We accepted his resignation and chose someone else who’d already confirmed his attendance. It’s now been 2 years though and the first best man still hasn’t made that move and still lives with his parents. Yep
At the wedding:
My hair just refused to behave in Cuba and although I visited the stylist and had my hair done before my flight, by the time I got off the plane I was one frizzy mess. On the day of the wedding, I had a friend style my hair (tried to save money) and freaked out when she tested the curling iron on her own hair first and her hair burned right off. If anybody ever does a destination wedding, beware of the voltage in countries like Cuba – it can fry your appliances! Anyway – another of my friends had a dual voltage flat iron and it worked well. Except that within 20 mins of getting my make up and into my dress, my hair just unfolded and poofed out 10 times over. I had to have it done all over again – which stressed me out and made me 30 mins late for my wedding.
Now granted, these were probably unique to a destination wedding, but I just thought I’d invite you guys to share the stresses you encountered or are currently encountering and how they were/are being handled – brides to be, it’s a great venting session trust me! Plus you guys would be helping ME immensely with planning my friend’s wedding – I’d like to do a perfect job and want to have contingency plans for whatever could go wrong!
Post # 3
The biggest headache regarding my wedding has been the venue…it was ordered by the courts to be sold (owner family drama) and we were not aware of this when we booked it and found out about the pending sale a few months after signing the contract. Long story short, a local developer won the bid for the hotel but the original owners appealed the courts decision to sell it so the case is being reheard on June 11th. So we have to wait another week to find out what’s going on. The new “owner” (winning bidder) has already stated that the cost to renovate/preserve the hotel (The Cavalier Hotel in Virginia Beach-built in 1927) is essentially not worth it. My mother plans to call him after the court date and pretty much ask him wtf happens to the people who have wedding contracts for this year.
Next biggest headache was my former florist. He was super flakey with responding to my tects/emails/calls and cancelled or was a no-show to several appointments. He also never sent me a write up of our consultation or a contract. I eventually asked if we could part ways because I didn’t feel comfortable with him. we didn’t have a contract so I figured getting my deposit back would be easy. Well he emailed me asking for my address so he could send me my deposit back but I haven’t received anything yet. I’ll be calling him today lol. Luckily I found a great new florist who was miraculously available for my wedding…so at least it somewhat worked out in the end.
I ordered samples of this really pretty invitations only to receive them and be underwhelmed by the quality. I really love parts of them (the actual invitation, RSVP, belly band, and Accommodations card) but I pretty much hate the pocketfold part. It felt very cheap and fell apart as soon as I opened it. Also, I wanted to use red metallic mailing envelopes and she used boring old white ones. I asked if she can just make me the things I like and then I can just adhere them to pocketfolds I order and mail them in envelopes I order. I need to figure it out soon because I plan to send them out by mid July so I need to have them ordered soon!
Whew, sorry for the long rant but those 3 things have really caused me some stress. Everything else has been amazing though!!!
Post # 4
@IzzyBear: wow luv – hopfully the venue works out!! That truly sucks – at the very least they ought to be refunding folks their deposits placed on the space if it doesn’t happen – I know a family who owned a banquet hall that went through something similar and they refunded those contracts they agreed to before everything took place.
Yay for the florist (well the new one anyway.) And it actually sounds like you have your invitation situation figured out – but I know how it feels to have something you were excited about and had your heart set on not turn out quite the way you were expecting. Have you already found the metallic envelopes you’re hoping to use?
Post # 5
Where would you like me to begin? I have a slew of relatives with religious views ranging from hardcore Dawkinsian evangelical atheist to high church Catholic, a mentally ill mother, a relatively small budget, family who object to alcohol for moral reasons, and a whole bunch of logistical issues. *Sigh*.
Post # 6
Problems: Our officiant bailed on us (he’s a family member), our flowergirl can’t make it, our replacement flowergirl might have to have surgery soon, we couldn’t afford a florist or a DJ, and several of our wedding party aren’t going to be able to make it to the wedding.
Solutions: We’re getting legally married at the courthouse (TOMORROW!) and having a friend informally officiate the wedding, if the current flowergirl and her family can’t make it, we just won’t have one, DIY flowers (my mother is very talented), iPod (well, MP3 player) wedding, we asked another guy to be a groomsman and since it’s still going to be even, we just accepted the loss of the other groomsman and bridesmaid.
I have to say though, our venue has been simply FANTASTIC. The people there are the best.
Post # 7
There is a great thread about this topic that some of you may not yet have seen. I posted there (post #20), so I’ll just provide a link here:
**Please Share your **biggest Regrets** incl photos
Post # 8
@Violette_Dash: I already have the pocketfolds and envelopes picked out that I woul use. It’s just a matter of whether or not the Etsy seller will sell me her invitations without the pocketfolds/envelopes and at a lower rate obviously. If not, I’ll have to see if a local stationary maker will create something similar.
Post # 9
Problem: showed up on the morning of my wedding day to get dressed at the venue, and the florist walks up to me and announces that we “ordered the wrong number of centerpieces and bouquets” — she’s short two table centerpieces and one bridesmaid bouquet.
Solution: I had copies of all our contracts with me (MAKE SURE YOU DO THIS) so I showed her that no, she’s a moron and we ordered the right number of everything. So I just looked at her and said “this is YOUR mistake. YOU figure it out.” And then walked away. If your vendors f**k up, don’t stress about it. Make THEM stress about it. Haha. Sure enough, she threw together two more centerpieces and another bouquet.
And I repeat — HAVE COPIES OF YOUR CONTRACTS/INVOICES WITH YOU.
Post # 10
I’m going through my biggest headaches now 21 days til my wedding I thought I was in the clear…boy was I wrong!!
Our best man decides to book his room late I may add and guess what?! room block discount expired 14 days ago and to make matters worse the hotel is booked the day following our wedding…I get a frantic call from FI telling me I should call and complain…uhhhh ok what am I supposed to do? Pull a room out of my ass? since when did I become a travel agent?
Don’t even get me started on my florist….I created and Deleted a thread here for privacy reasons. Nightmare!
Oh and then there is my MOH, lives in CA. initially told me our hotel wasn’t what they’re used to….What the hell does that mean??!?!?! not good enough? She said they’re booking at another hotel down the street, Fine by me..just be where you’re supposed to be when you’re supposed to be there. NOW, she texts me today letting me know she booked at our hotel but wants me to ask if they can get an early check in as the day they’re arriving is the day of our rehearsal which starts at 3 and if they can’t check in prior they’ll be crabby…OMFG just what I need!!!! Crabby MOH who has done NOTHING to assist me thus far!
F this, I’m pouring a bottle of wine… Yes you got that right a bottle:)
Post # 11
My venue where EVERYTHING was supposed to take place – ceremony, reception, guest rooms etc for a wedding with over 75% OOT people – went into receivorship in Jan – I panicked and called a couple other full-service places but they were all booked into 2015 haha. I decided I would just have it in my parents backyard if I had to, but had no idea where to start renting things, where to put all the OOT guests – anyway I just held out hope that they would find a buyer for the property – and they have, and he is going to honor all the contracts! woooo it all works out:) I am sure there will be some other mishaps and there have definately been some stresses with bridesmaids/guestlist/invites/wedding dress but they are all relatively minor – now that I have my venue back and I will end up married to the one I love regardless I am happy:)
Post # 12
@Brielle: THANKS for that thread!! Whereas this thread is helping me as a planner (I worked with a planner for my own wedding but this is the first one where I’m going solo for a friend) the one you mentioned is perfect for me as a bride – even tho it’s been a while, there were things I regret and still kind of are sore points because you don’t get a do over!! Plus my husband gets mad at me when I mention all the things that bothered me that day so I’m glad there’s a thread for me to sort of get some closure.
Post # 13
@iarebridezilla: People came to the VENUE to get dressed??? OMG Instant headache. I can’t even begin to process that.
I also can’t believe the florist came to YOU about that – you hired her to do a job. It’s her job to get it done. That kind of stuff brings out my inner diva. What did she expect YOU to do about that? And on the actual wedding day too!
DEFINITELY KEEP YOUR CONTRACTS AND COPIES OF YOUR CONTRACTS I 100% AGREE – We’re currently suing our wedding photographer – THAT one is a story for another thread and is making me angry all over again as I type – but basically our signed contract and various emails back and forth is helping our case immensely.
Post # 14
@kayrie95: Hunny – I have BEEN there but in reverse – I didn’t mention this and don’t know why but our officiant couldn’t do the wedding either – he had to step down because of “personal issues”. We replaced him with a family member who was already attending. I told you I needed a reality show!! lolol
One thing though – do you think you and your hubby might have a get together after the fact for the folks who couldn’t make it? One of my friends did that – she and her husband got married in Antigua and then came back and had an intimate but formal get together for the people who didn’t go to the DW. They had a slideshow of the pics they took and a video of the actual ceremony and it turned out quite nicely! She wore a different dress to the get together but she looked gorgeous both times.
Post # 15
@Birdi: Of course. You know it’s so funny – you ask people who you feel will be there for you to be your Best Man/ MOH and often it’s THOSE people who show how inconsiderate they can be. One thing I learned was that people often don’t place your wedding as high on their list of priorities as it is on yours, and it comes off like they don’t care. Your MOH sounds like a true princess though. And I don’t mean that in a good way. The best man needs a beating.
Post # 16
We aren’t married yet, but we’re having maaaaaaaajor issues with the best man (FI’s brother). In short: he and his nutjob wife live in another state and basically have no contact with anyone. He “doesn’t have the money” to come up here and do anything for a bachelor party for FI, but they were apparently just up here (they drive ~14 hours)?? Yeah, his wife posted a message on my Facebook that they “tried to stop and see [us], but it didn’t work out” when they were here, but never bothered to, I don’t know, TELL US THAT THEY WERE HERE. FI is hesitant to say anything to him because it might push him away more, but after he saw that message, he decided to send his brother an email (literally the only way that we can contact them) about it. Not sure if he has yet. My biggest stress has absolutely been his brother–he is notoriously late to everything, and I mean LATE (30 minutes+) to EVERYTHING. I DO NOT WANT TO STRESS ABOUT THIS ON OUR WEDDING DAY. I DO NOT want FI to be stressed, disappointed, sad, etc. ON OUR WEDDING DAY, because his brother is worthless.
Solution: I am trying to hold it in for right now. FI has told me in the past that he’ll “take care of it” and “not to worry,” but I am freaking out. I am going to talk to him this week about seriously considering asking his brother to just come as a guest.
I’ve been talking to his stepmom about it, who’s also “not allowed” to do anything about the situation, and she and I are on the same page. I guess he’s seeing his dad after work today, and I seriously hope that stepmom talked to dad about asking the brother to step down.