(Closed) What went wrong when you planned your wedding and how did you handle it?

posted 7 years ago in Recaps
Post # 32
Member
7977 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2013 - UK

@Violette_Dash:  The thing is… I’m quite religious, but not particularly traditional. I’m not taking FI’s name if I have my way, I don’t want to be given away, and I’m not interested in a whole bunch of other things. Very few people really understand that. They can understand secularism, but not being anti-tradition!

Post # 33
Member
4690 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY

@Violette_Dash:  hahah definitely not easy going!! Just ridiulously type- a and I insist on getting my to-do lists done ahead of time. It’s a terrible thing. I’m waiting for the ball to drop. 

Post # 34
Member
2285 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: Central Park

I never wanted to ask my sister to be a bridesmaid. We don’t have a great relationship and she’s 5 years older than me and not yet married to her boyfriend of 10 years. It just seemed like a horrible idea. My mother forced the issue, so I ended up asking her. It was a huge mistake. She lived a state away so I wasn’t expecting her to be involved in wedding planning, but she was so uninvolved it hurt.

We ended up paying for her dress and told her that her hair, make-up, jewelry, and shoes were up to her. She spent $0 on this wedding. My bachelorette party was the weekend before the wedding and my sister was in town for an anime/sci-fi convention. She was about an hours drive away from my bachelorette party and couldn’t be bothered to attend even just for an hour or two. The night before the wedding we had the rehearsal dinner so I went over to my parents (where they were staying) to borrow something for my DH’s grooms cake. We got into a huge fight when I told her that we needed all of the bridal party at the venue at 8 AM to start decorating. She threw a huge fit because it’s too early and she can’t make herself get up that early because she likes to go to bed at 4 am and gt up at 1 pm.

I told her she was being selfish and she could do this one thing for me and she kept calling me a bitch and screaming at me. I apologized, and she sulked. We talked a few hours later which consisted of me apologizing again and her going on and on about how I never call her to talk about her life. I point out that she’s the same way and that we don’t have that kind of relationship. She spent the whole phone call dominating the conversation and never once apologized. So the day of the wedding she strolls up to the venue at 1 PM when all of the decorating is done and spends the whole day ignoring me as she does her make up.

During the wedding ceremony there are only about 6 photos where she’s even looking in our direction because most of the time she was looking away or making a face. It’s not my fault that she is jealous that her little sister got married first. It’s not my fault that she is unmarried at 31. It’s not my fault that her worthless boyfriend of 10+ years FINALLY just got an actual full-time job in the entire time they’ve been together. It’s not fair for her to blame me for living the life that she wants.

It killed me that she couldn’t put her emotions aside to be nice to me for one day. Our relationship is pretty much ruined. I wish that I had left her out of the bridal party. It would have caused issues, but at least she wouldn’t have ruined so many photos because she would have been a guest.

Also, the wedding programs that I spent probably 15 hours making got forgotten at home but that was my fault. I still can’t bear to throw them away because of how much time I spent making them.

Post # 35
Member
718 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Oh man I would dream to have your problems instead of the ones I had:

– we moved 5 hours to another state halfway through wedding planning and so i had almost no one around me except my Darling Husband to help with planning and DIYing

– had to kick a bridesmaid who I’ve been friends with for 10 years out of the wedding

– one of the groomsmen dropped out because he would be traveling during the wedding

– was threatened that grandma from mom’s side wouldn’t come if great aunt from dad’s side would come and so couldnt invite a bunch of family members because of old divorce issues

– same grandma wanted to bring her new gold digging boyfriend who ive barely met and even though i kept saying no, she did anyway

– i had so much anxiety leading up to the wedding i had to seek therapy for it

– baker was flaky with communication leading up to the wedding and cake ended up arriving late enough that we were thinking of a plan b cake as the ceremony was starting

– florist got my bouquets all wrong and wasnt even there when i got to the venue to fix them

– and of course, my reception had to end early and honeymoon had to be postponed because of a tragic event

Post # 37
Member
718 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@Violette_Dash:  Oh I should clarify, my honeymoon was postponed not cancelled by a week, we just had to change all the reservations for after the funeral

Post # 38
Member
16 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2013

@Violette_Dash:  so far the biggest disaster has been the mail truck carrying all of our invites catching on fire and turning them into a pile of ashes :/

Post # 39
Member
287 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

LOL – glad I’m not alone! Let’s see….

 

 

 

– 1 of 2 original “honor attendants” and I no longer speak…she advised that she didn’t feel I was making a good decision and that if Fiance really loved me, he would have asked me to marry him a lot sooner. Never once congratulated me on getting engaged (unless “Congratulations, I GUESS” counts as congratulations). Very quickly saw the relationship deteriorate from there until I just couldn’t handle being hurt anymore and walked away from a 13+ year friendship. Sad but honestly, best decision I could have made – she would have found some way to ruin my day or make it about her.

 

– Centrepieces were to be roses and lilies but the lilies did not open up in time so we didn’t use them.

 

– Water beads used in centrepieces were filled incorrectly causing my mother to have to run out the morning of and get more.

 

– A standing vase fell over the night before and smashed (my fault)

 

– Cousin who had promised to set up the tables the morning of the wedding backed out at 10:30pm the night before because she “had lots of stuff to do” that day

 

– Had to give up on our original ceremony plan of being out in the open outside to being under a covered patio because we couldn’t tell if it was going to rain or not (it ended up not raining).

 

– Cake was ruined because venue took it out of the fridge and put it in their cold storage (kept at 1 degree) and all the decorations popped off and my original design had to be redone last minute into something I hadn’t asked for plus it tasted terrible because it was all dried out.

 

– Venue broke one of our toasting flutes by putting it in the dishwasher (despite the fact that the box clearly says wash by hand only)

 

-Timing of reception ran late and as such, I have no pro pics of the party because our photographer had to leave at 10pm and we had our first dance at 9:40pm so the last shots we have are of our initial dances.

– Wedding night hotel room DID NOT GET CLEANED!! Came in to an unmade bed, towels on the floor and beer cans on the desk (from the groomsmen the night before). Spent 30 minutes arguing with the front desk person in my WEDDING DRESS who kept telling us that this wasn’t his fault or his problem. A complete friggin’ nightmare!! Luckily, we stayed somewhere MUCH nicer for our mini-moon and that erased that experience pretty quickly. Had a LONG chat with the manager when we got back though and made him cut our room rate (even though even HE tried to blame US for his horrible staff and their crap customer service) to the bare minimum.

 

Yup – lots of stuff went wrong and I noticed all of it but you know what? I couldn’t have cared less on the actual day. I had so much fun and have such beautiful memories of the day that the stuff that got messed up just doesn’t matter at all in hindsight. Would have been nice for it to be the way I had dreamed and planned for it to be but I still had a wonderful time and still married the best guy ever!

 

 

 

Post # 40
Member
1789 posts
Buzzing bee

@mrscash:  Oh Lord!! Why did you have to kick a bridesmaid out, just curious? 

Post # 41
Member
718 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@Liss13:  It’s a complicated situation relating to an old friend that I’ve always had a difficult relationship with, that got extra difficult when I got engaged and we were planning. At one point she stopped communicating with me entirely because she was mad at me about a comment I made about her quitting smoking and I tried to contact her for over a month through every format (phone, email, text, fbook, everything save for knocking on her door because i live 8 hours away), and then got fed up and kicked her out. I could tell she was ignoring me because when I sent the message saying I wanted her to step down as a Bridesmaid or Best Man (no i didn’t say “im kicking you out!”) all of a sudden she responded immediately. We didn’t talk for months after that but I invited her to the wedding, we talked a little beforehand, decided to put our differences aside and she came and we danced and it was great. At that point we understood our friendship was in a different place and it actually put us in a much better place. So you know, it works out.

Post # 42
Member
1789 posts
Buzzing bee

@mrscash:  I have a friend like that….I can almost guarentee that the time I get engaged, and plan my wedding she will be out of the picture :/ 

Post # 43
Member
718 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

@Liss13:  Well then I’d recommend that when the time comes if/when you consider her a Bridesmaid or Best Man, save yourself some trouble and DONT.

Post # 44
Member
286 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Violette_Dash:  A lot of the issues were kept from my knowledge until later so I didnt freak out. lol One major thing tho was my dad forgot his pants, and my parents live an hour away from the church, so my aunt and uncle picked them up and brought them but they were the wrong pair so they didnt match his jacket. So… another one of my uncles walked in and my mom told him to give my dad his jacket! lol Dad didnt match perfectly but it all worked out. lol Also, both set of grandparents were late to the church. DH’s gpa was supposed to do the prayer at the reception but again got lost going there too..(84 yr olds should not try to navigate an unfamiliar city) and they ended up downtown in the middle of Pride Parade!! lol They eventually made it to the right spot but it was rather entertaining! Even tho there were a few other mishaps the day was mostly perfect!! 🙂

Post # 45
Member
92 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@iarebridezilla:  I would never have thought to bring contracts/invoices! Thanks for the tip 🙂

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