(Closed) What. WHOM does the FMIL want us to invite???

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 63
Member
528 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

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@LadyMoriarty:  Fair enough! good luck. Just don’t let something like this ruin your day 🙂

Post # 64
Member
729 posts
Busy bee

Tom ISN’T just a random guy they lived with; he’s his uncle.Why wouldn’t he be invited? “He is his uncle biologically but not socially” is nonsense. You are being totally overbearing and judgmental here.

Also, I don’t see how Tom is such a huge asshole for not forcing his brother to stick around. Sam was a grown man when this happened, right? How would Tom have any control over him? You say he was a lazy pothead but you’re acting like he abused your Fiance or something. It seems like he wasn’t a negative presence in your FI’s life, he just wasn’t perfect, and that offends you? 

People and their drama….

Post # 65
Member
729 posts
Busy bee

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@Asia:  +1 Every post from the OP is getting more and more far-fetched!

Post # 66
Member
2440 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

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@LadyMoriarty:  Sorry it took me so long, OP. I only just saw your response to my comment.

Let me just emphasize, regardless of his anger issues,

 you. are. not. in. charge. of. his. feelings. or. actions.


If he has anger issues, if he has no emotional control, don’t feel entitled to take it upon yourself to shield him form things he does not ahve the emotional maturity to handle. These are things he needs to work on. You can’t shape the world around him to make it so tha no unjust or ridiculous things happen to or near him. If you are worried that he is repressing his feelings now, and he is going to be the one to ruin your wedding, you need to stop projecting your frustrations on that on his mother. If this is something that may upset him, he needs to handle it. If he says he doesn’t care, let it go. If he blows up at your wedding, then he is the ONLY person responsible for acting out like a giant man child.

 

Just

stop.

Post # 67
Member
2440 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

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@LadyMoriarty:  saw your last message, and my only response to that is your Fi wouldn’t have cried over a phone call with someone he did not care about. Obviously, Tom IS important to your fiance.

Post # 68
Member
7528 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2014

OP, I find it interesting that you refer to your fiancé as “the Fi.” Not Fi or my Fi, “the” Fi. I’m not sure what that means, though?

Post # 70
Member
1344 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

Haven’t read the responses yet.

So you’re judging Tom for something his brother did? That seems fair… :/

It’s not his fault that his brother didn’t do the right thing.

It also doesn’t seem that weird to me that his uncle wanted to be a part of his life. From your OP, it doesn’t sound like Tom has done anything wrong. I have no clue why you’ve got ill feelings towards him. It wasn’t Tom’s responsibility to try and get Sam to stick around or pay child support, and maybe he did talk to him about it anyway.

Post # 71
Member
1344 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

I see the situation has been resolved. That’ll teach me not to look for update before posting!

Post # 73
Member
2440 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

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@LadyMoriarty:  hahaha. OK. I’ma stop playing your game. Good luck with life

Post # 74
Member
1221 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

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@inky_1:  I totally agree.

What’s so weird about this, OP? Would it have been better if your Fiance had no male role model in his life growing up? Frankly, Tom being Sam’s brother is really irrelevant. I don’t see the slightest thing that would make it wrong to invite Tom, a family friend who he’s known all his life, to the wedding. Tom did nothing wrong; I assume he’d rather have him there overeason any day. You’re trying to make this weirder than it needs to be.

Post # 76
Member
4369 posts
Honey bee

It’s your FI’s choice, you shouldn’t get a say in this. 

The topic ‘What. WHOM does the FMIL want us to invite???’ is closed to new replies.

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