(Closed) What will you/do you call your mother-in-law?

posted 13 years ago in Family
Post # 47
Member
17 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2008

I love my parents to death and I don’t really feel comfortable calling my Mother-In-Law and Father-In-Law "mom" and "dad".  I don’t think I ever will.  

So…I call my Mother-In-Law by her first name, even though we don’t have the best relationship.  I adore my Father-In-Law and respectfully call him Dr. _______ (first name).  I think eventfully I will refer to him by just his first name.  

Post # 48
Member
1041 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

I use her first name only… i never will call her mom!

Post # 49
Member
785 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2010 - Indiana Memorial Union

There’s no way I’ll call her mom — and I really really try to avoid calling her by her first name. I basically avoid any situation where I have to address her 🙂

Post # 50
Member
56 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I have a pretty good relationship with his parents. At first I used to call both of them Mr. and Mrs. but they insisted on me calling them by their first names. So a few months ago, I started the transition and it’s growing on me. =D

Post # 51
Member
377 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Mother-In-Law and I are not super close, geographically or otherwise 😉 I try not to call her anything, she signs her name as ‘Mom A.’ (her last initial) on cards and things but I would never call her that. When I refer to her I call her by her first name or just say ‘Husbad’s Mom.’ Haha, it is funny that there are so many people who never call their ILs/FILs anything at all.  I feel like once you go that route, you can’t turn back.  In twenty years it’ll still be like, ‘Hi…you!’

Post # 52
Member
4194 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

My Future Mother-In-Law wrote me an email (we both work in insurance so I was helping her out on something for work) and she signed it: Love, First Name. I wrote her back and asked if she minded if I call her First Name and she said Of course not, you can call me whatever you are comfortable with! (Meaning, Mom is okay too). I call her First Name in emails and in person, but in general try to avoid addressing her directly since it is still a little bit awkward.

One thing you can do is ask your fiance what he thinks or have him ask her directly. Then the next time you see her or speak to her say, Do you mind if I call you Blank? It is a brief moment of awkwardness, but it’s all over after that and you avoid the 30 year question. She will appreciate that you were brave enough to do it!

Post # 53
Member
158 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: April 2022 - The Grand Old House, Grand Cayman

@ Mr. Bee: LOL me too!  I’ve felt awkward about it since Mr. K and I started dating, almost 5 years ago!  Couldn’t decide between "Mrs. X" and "Judy."  But there is NO WAY I am calling her "mom"!  When we got married I asked my SIL (Mr. K’s brother’s wife) what she called her.  She says "Judy" so I’m sticking to that.

Post # 54
Member
116 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

Well, BF’s dad is not in the picture, so there’s just his mom and her and I get along very well.  Lots of love there, but I don’t call her anything.  I can’t call her mom, I HAVE my mom, so it would just feel weird.  So when I see her, I just giver her a big hug and kiss and say hello.  As for my parents, I don’t think I’ve ever heard him call them anything, but I’m sure it will just be their first names when he does, if ever.  Funny though, I call his grandparents Grams and Gramps. 

Post # 55
Member
87 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I’m attempting to go the first name route, but for whatever reason, his mother has two first names.   As in, some people call her Mary, and other people call her Karen – but I’m totally unclear which of those is more ‘formal’ and which is more ‘familiar’.  Those names aren’t even related!    When I ask my fiance what I should call her, he says ‘either one’.   I’m convinced that is not the right answer.

And my fiance’s father’s name is Dick.   At 33, I cannot say that with a straight face.

 

Post # 56
Member
116 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

LOL @hobochic . I couldn’t even read that with a straight face, I have to admit I giggled at the thought of it. 

Post # 57
Member
257 posts
Helper bee

Hobochic – that’s hysterical! I’m sure I could’t call him that either!

I call my future in-laws by their first names. I’ve always called Future Mother-In-Law her first name b/c she’s divorced. I used to call my Future Father-In-Law Mr. _ but he pissed me off one day and I denoted him to his first name. I have no idea if he noticed. I would call them mom and dad though if they asked. FH calls my parents mom/dad and I think its sweet*.

*this was btw a prerequisite of dating me. I told him early on he’d have to do that and my Brother-In-Law does it so he’s had plenty of time to get used to it. I think he likes it though or at least he’s never told me otherwise. 

Post # 58
Member
1139 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

I use their first names when I’m speaking to them but if it’s just my fiance and I talking about them I’ll sometimes use mom and dad. 

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