What will your guests actually remember?

posted 5 months ago in Guests
Post # 31
Member
1049 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2019

I seem to remember if I was comfortable it not – just physically comfortable. My first memories of a wedding are that of my cousin Wendy, and I just remember being about 12 and hungrier than I’d ever been in my life. We must have had a long drive with no time to stop for lunch, and then there was a no-food cocktail hour so by the time we actually got into the dining room I ate all the carrots off the relish tray before we even sat down. The poor couple must have spent so much time and money, and I just remember soft, slightly hairy carrots 

If it’s hot and there’s no AC, if there aren’t any chairs, etc, that’s likely to be what I remember. If those needs are met, then I can focus more in in the details like flowers, dress, etc.

Post # 32
Member
638 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

If the food is bad, lol. If it’s good, I may or may not remember it, tbh. There are a few weddings I’ve been to where it was exceptional and I remember those as well.

If the centerpieces look super cheap or tacky. I’m sorry if this sounds super judgy. I know DIY centerpieces are a great way to save money and I support that! But there is a difference between good DIY and bad DIY. One of my friends DIYed her centerpieces beautifully and I will always remember how whimsical and unique they were. Absolutely the right choice for her because she is creative and talented. Even supermarket flowers in a simple vase would be fine, if they are trimmed and arranged nicely. But… if it’s a dollar-store candle with a few of those glass beads thrown on the table… yeah, I’m sorry, I’m going to notice.

Post # 33
Member
2890 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2017

pinkdolphin :  ambience/ decor, food and the cake especially!  Don’t bother with cake if you’re only serving those tiny (basically just a token!) finger sized cake “bites/slices”… have a second dessert if that’s the case. 

Post # 34
Member
534 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2018

Food 

Alcohol – we had an open bar and people said they loved it

Music – DJ

All of those things combined is what people told us and still tell us to this day, almost a year later that it was “a freaking party” and “an absolute blast” because we just got drunk, danced, talked, mingled, etc. Honestly, aside from our dance and the ceremony it was DH’s and I’s favorite part too. 

Post # 35
Member
1254 posts
Bumble bee

For us we heard most about the venue, ambience, alcohol (we had a general “order whatever you like” bar with a top limit, which was nowhere near being hit), food, the music (acoustic duo). 

People talked about how great it was to just relax and catch up with people and enjoying the food, drinks and music. A few we spoke to raved about the bartender being so helpful and knowledgeable. I think people who drink (ourselves included) really enjoyed the unlimited choices of things to try (craft beers, whiskeys etc).

We didn’t organise anything other than the speeches from dads and us. No one missed the bouquet toss or games or first dance or favours.

No one will remember the flowers or favours or place cards etc. Ok maybe some ladies care about the flowers but seriously, for majority of the guests, as long as they have a good time, all the rest doesn’t matter.

Post # 36
Member
3522 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 2021

For me the biggest thing j remember about any wedding is how it “felt”, ya know?

Like, was it a warm and celebratory atmosphere? Did the couple seem happy? Did I get a positive vibe from most of the guests? 

As for actual details, not a whole lot really unless anything is particularly terrible or particularly amazing. I’ll remember if the music was good (or bad) and if the dancefloor was hopping or a total flop, but not what songs were necessarily played. 

I will almost certainly not remember much if anything about the decor or the outfits or the stationary used lol 

Post # 37
Member
652 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

1. Food and drink

2. If there was a long wait or long/inconvenient drive to another venue

3. Was it fun/who did I sit with/did I know anyone

4. How did the bride look

Post # 38
Member
4175 posts
Honey bee

I’ve been to so many weddings. What stands out in my mind is the weather and the attitudes of the other guests. Some people are a lot of fun and others are boring or unfriendly. I never remember the food unless it was bad, which I have experienced unfortunately. 

And something I thought was awesome for a wedding favor: they gave you little bags and you could fill them with fresh lavender or other scents. I loved that.

Post # 39
Member
1096 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2019

1. Food – either if it was really good or really bad (dry chicken especially!).

2. How long of a wait it was for guests between the ceremony and reception.

3. The bride’s dress.

Post # 40
Member
7030 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2012

1. Comfort/Punctuality : Did they have seating for everyone? Did it start on time? Were we sitting around constantly waiting for things to happen.

2. Food : Food is always a key part at weddings. I

3. Bad Speeches : Nothing is worse than too many people giving a speech, or dragging it out too long. No one gives a shit about your funny inside jokes, or that you spent your entire high school career playing video games and no one thought you’d find a spouse. They want to hear you wish the couple wedding and move on! 

…….

As a wedding photographer those are the things I tend to remember, and it’s also the things I tend to hear guests talking about. 

Post # 41
Member
954 posts
Busy bee

I’m almost 40 so most of my friends’ weddings were anywhere from 5-18 years ago.  I can remember the venue for  all of them as well as memories of being with my friends. 

 

Then, I specifically remember (not good): 

1. The one dry reception

2. The one with 400 guests and no assigned seating where I didn’t get to sit with anyone I knew despite being in the bridal party

3. The one where there wasn’t enough cake and the one where the cake taste like cardboard 

 

And for the exceptionally good:

1. The ones with the best live bands where we danced until they kicked us out

2. The ones with unbelievably good / unique food 

3. More memories from Destination Wedding than non-DW because it’s an all-weekend event 

Post # 42
Member
658 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

Quality of food and food server (if available). I remember attending a wedding in a high class hotel but the server’s attitude stinks! That forever ruined my image of that particular hotel. 

I will also remember the decorations, whether they’re pretty or not.

Post # 43
Member
2454 posts
Buzzing bee

The food, the vibe of the wedding (dancing), if I had a good time, and where my table was (if it was in a bad location). One of my husband’s friends recently got married and the whole group was in the wedding party and do I was at a table of spouses and we were stuck in the back and couldn’t see anything. It really made us feel like we were snuffed or something. We had a good time and I think if the wedding fondly but that always pops into my head too when I think about it.  

Post # 44
Member
3 posts
Wannabee

As a guest, I will remember

-the venue

-the overall ambience and decoration (bonus points if the decor is something REALLY different, I once went to a wedding with a massive ice sculpture which was cool to see). If you want to splurge that bad, make it BIG and memorable. Adding $$$ to have a slightly better paper quality for your invites or flowers imported from a better place won’t really make much difference. 

-the food, if it’s really different and/or really bad or good. I went to a wedding where the bride and groom met on a Japan business trip and so they served sushi as one of their buffet options. 

-maybe the color scheme.

I won’t remember a lot tbh, definitely not the small details, like that you had replaced some of those roses with daisies of the same color because you didn’t buy enough flowers, that the invitation printing looks a bit off to the side, that your dress is an inch too long or short in front, that your bustle broke, that your bridesmaids aren’t all wearing the same bracelet on the same wrist, that the cake came in a different flavor that you had ordered…

I might notice, but I won’t remember. 

Post # 45
Member
571 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2018

I remember things that are ‘different’. A lot of weddings I’ve been to all seem very similar to me, so anything that is different (good or bad) will be remembered. This obviously varies from wedding to wedding.

So, for example, I remember:

1) the wedding I went to in France (which was in a cathedral, followed by a Chateau, a 7 course meal with games and singing between each course and went on until 4am). Nothing like any other wedding I’ve been to. It was amazing.

2) the wedding where the bride was over an hour late (really annoying as it was in the middle of a working day and I had to get back to work).

3) the wedding where we weren’t told that they weren’t serving a proper meal in advance, so everyone was starving.

4) the wedding where half the guests were Scottish and the couple had hired a famous Ceilidh band. The best ceilidh ever!

5) the wedding where the bride and groom did a choreographed jive for their First Dance. A bad choice because it was impossible to do in a huge wedding dress. Actually, I remember most choreographed first dances as they are mostly awful (only seen one good one).

6) the wedding where the FOB made me cry with his beautiful speech.

7) the TWO weddings where the FOB’s speech involved saying how hard marriage is and why they divorced the MOB. Cringe, cringe, cringe.

8) the wedding where I hardly knew the bride, but she spent at least 10 minutes chatting to me and my group of friends (all on the groom’s side), welcoming us. She made us feel like we’d made her day by coming! She was so sweet and made all her guests feel really special.

9) the wedding where the couple decided to force everyone to ‘mingle’ during dinner so seated everyone on tables with no-one they knew. Hated that. I just wanted to sit and catch up with my friends (who I hadn’t seen for ages)

10) the one where I was invited to the ceremony and party, but not the dinner. Wouldn’t have been a problem as that’s not uncommon here, but dinner overran and so all the guests like me were left standing outside in the rain for close to an hour.

11) the one in a castle in winter where I kept my coat on for the ENTIRE day because it was freezing cold.

I usually remember the wedding dress.

I tried to learn from these things and apply/avoid for my own wedding!

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