(Closed) What would happen if you went to your partner said you want to get engaged now?

posted 5 years ago in Waiting
Post # 46
Member
3242 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

We decided to be engaged without a proposal.  In fact neither of us wanted to be engaged and we planned to elope straight after the choice was made but in the end it felt a shame on our families so we had a short engagement and an intimate wedding.  All in all we are both liberal adults and DH hates the idea of his proposal being important when surely the love he provides on a daily basis is far more telling than one grand gesture. 

Post # 47
Member
1988 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2017

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bluerainbow: “What would happen if you went to your partner said you want to get engaged now?”

The majority on this waiting forum have told their so’s that they want to get engaged. What’s happening now is that they’re waiting for their so’s to agree and formally propose back.  

Post # 48
Member
510 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

That’s what me and Fiance did, just had to wait for the ring to make it official, which was more like a gift giving than a proposal. The funny thing is my mum never got a proposal either.they just decided lol

Post # 49
Member
131 posts
Blushing bee

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identicallists:  Oh absolutely. We have talked about it before, when the marriage conversation first started popping up from various sources. I said it made me feel very vulnerable and like the pressure was on, but he assured me that it wasn’t and that he appreciated my emotional standpoint, that I shouldn’t feel that way because he likes to know he is loved that much (which made me feel a lot better) – as long as the appreciation and respect is mutual.  But I agree. If I felt uncomfortable in any way, he’d definitely know ASAP. 

Post # 50
Member
116 posts
Blushing bee

Him proposing will be a formality because we are fully intending on getting married. However, we are both just starting our careers and he wants to wait. I mean, I get it. I’m almost 22 and he’s 24. But I also bring up the fact that we could just go to the courthouse tomorrow and I’d be happy…

He doesn’t mind because he’s equally excited to marry me, but weddings are a big deal in his family so we’re going to have to go the more traditional route. He’s also had a big plan for proposing to me for a while – he tells my friends about it when I leave the room sometimes haha. But we are young, so I can wait. He said maybe in a year (which will be a year of us living together, so that’s fine too). It helps a lot that he refers to me as his future fiancee/wife to other people, so I know he’s not just stringing me along.

My desire to get married so soon is basically just so the rest of the world knows how serious we are because I just love him so damn much 🙂 

Post # 51
Member
216 posts
Helper bee

He’d pat me on the head and say “…No.” We definitely can’t afford a ring right now, haha.

Post # 52
Member
113 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: July 2017

That’s pretty much what happened, minus the “right now” part.  My partner and I are…well…partners, and we had a mutual discussion about our future together.  It was mutually understood that we planned to marry someday, but lately it has been more on my radar than his.  (Surprising, since he is actually more of a romantic than I am.)  Well, I told him that I would like to marry him and he said he wanted that, too.  He hadn’t thought much about getting engaged right now, but once I brought it up he agreed that there was no reason to wait.  We started looking at rings, found one we both love, and now we are just waiting for it to be sized before we consider it “official.”

Post # 53
Member
1288 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2018 - Omaha, NE

He’d probably laugh at me because we HAVE had the conversation before. We’ve also had the conversation about all the reasons we can’t do it yet, because we’re adults and we talk about our problems. I’m in my last year of college (I’m 23) and he just got out, neither of us have our dream jobs yet, I want a ring (a cheap moissanite one, but the symbol is important to me) and he doesn’t have the money for one right now, we just moved into a new apartment and are still figuring out budget stuff, and neither of us can afford the nice wedding that we and both our families and friends want. It’s all of that that’s the hangup, not us not wanting it or not having talked about it.

Post # 54
Member
1569 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2017

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bluerainbow:  If we had reached a point where I was tired of waiting, I would have had no issues with telling him I wanted to be engaged. Getting married is a huge step, one that isn’t decided by just one person. It drives me crazy when women bring it up to their SOs and are told that it’s “his decision”. Fuck that. It is OUR decision, and one we need to come to together.

Post # 55
Member
115 posts
Blushing bee

As an “older” waiting bee, I wasn’t in a hurry.  My boyfriend and I have been together for 5 yrs.  After 2 yrs, he brought up the subject.  We both had been through bad marriages and even worse divorces. We agreed to wait. Within the last 6 months, we have been seriously discussing marriage.  I think if I said that I wanted to be engaged now. ..we would both be okay with it. I think that it’s more important that we are both on the same page. 

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