Post # 1
I’ve already picked out my bridesmaids, and my Maid of honor will be my sister. I have three other girls I will be including as bridesmaids. However, to be honest, if my sister wasn’t in the picture, I’d have a different girl be my Maid/Matron of Honor. My sister is kind of… high maintenance. She has Bipolar and is very hard to get along with. She was a bully towards me when I was younger, and it wasn’t until we were older that we were even friends. She’s my only sister, and we do now have a decent relationship, it’s just that every once and a while she gets difficult. I am afraid of her having some of her episodes while I’m planning my wedding (she doesn’t really like it when things are about me, and what’s more about me then MY wedding). Having said all that, I do want her to be my Maid/Matron of Honor.
However, I have another girl who I want to make ‘special’ for lack of a better term. Like I said, if my sister wasn’t in the picture (and there is a chance she’ll throw a fit before the wedding and decide she doesn’t want to be apart of it. She did that at my high school grad), she would be my Maid/Matron of Honor. I want to give her recognition, mostly because she deserves it, but also incase something happens with my sister so its obvious to the girls who would step up into her place. I know that the other girls won’t have a problem with it.
So what should I call her? Neither her or my sister are married, so I don’t think Matron of honor is the right title. I don’t want them both to be maid of honor, because that will make my sister mad. Is there anything else I can call her, aside from just making up my own title?
Post # 3
What about an honor attendant??? I kinda made it up but I think it sounds official LOL
Post # 4
I would just make the both Maid of Honor – and let your sister throw a fit (because it really shouldn’t matter)
Post # 5
Do you have to assign her a title? Just maybe pull her aside and tell her how you feel and that you consider her like a Maid/Matron of Honor.
Post # 6
Wow, I am so happy to see that I am not the only one with this issue! My little sister was going to be my Maid of Honor until recently.. Once I realized that she was irritated that the spotlight was on me while dress shopping, planning, etc, I knew I had to do something… But, luckily for me, she got pregnant, and decided to step down before I had to have that uncomfortable conversation and potentially losing her from the wedding party altogether.
My “back up” maid of honor gladly took over. Before all this went down though, I was just still calling her just my bridesmaid, but I had talked to her and my other bridesmaid (I only have three attendants) and told them that if something were to happen, she would be my Maid of Honor. I know this doesn’t help your “title” situation but I thought I would share my story so you know you aren’t alone! haha
Post # 7
@KatyElle: I agree with you on this one; I have a Maid and a Matron of Honour (my maid of honour isn’t old enough to sign the regester, and had to chose my Matron of honour out of obligation), but I have one very special bridesmaid whom would have been my maid of honour under other circumstances. I had her over one night and told her how much she means to me and I let her know just how special she is and thanked her for everything that she has done. She knows how much I value her and to her the title of Maid of honour is just that, a title, she knows I love her just the same as always.
Post # 8
I had two matrons of honor, and neither was upset that the other had this same role. I’ve been to — and I’ve been an honor attendant IN — more than one wedding that had more than one honor attendant. Your sister really should not be upset over this.
You can have your sister stand closest to you in the wedding, and even have her be the one to make the toast at the wedding, while still having a second maid of honor. Perhaps you can give her some other duties, as well as the title, to ensure that she feels special, too. (For example, when you turn to your Fiance to say your vows, one Maid/Matron of Honor can hold your bouquet, while the other fixes your dress, etc.)
Post # 9
I was torn and ultimately made my best friend my Maid/Matron of Honor, and my sister, who is my only sibling, was one of three bridesmaids. This is because my best friend is really my rock, plus she is excellent at taking charge and executing on tasks. My sister is a lovely person but she plays helpless sometimes. E.g., she once instant-messaged me to ask if I knew if it was raining.
I felt a little guilty about my decision at first, but then my wedding almost had to be cancelled thanks to Hurricane Irene. My best friend played a major role in saving the situation. She did everything from find two possible alternate venues to bake cupcakes because we didn’t have dessert at the last minute. She even brought us tanks of gas for the generator because there was no power at the venue for a few days. I was really glad that she got the recognition of being Maid/Matron of Honor because she fricking earned it.
Post # 10
@KatyElle: to be honest, I hadn’t even thought of this. I guess I don’t really need to give her a title. She already knows that if anything happens with my sister, she’ll be ‘stepping in’ to the roll as Maid/Matron of Honor. I might just leave her as a Bridesmaid or Best Man, there’s nothing wrong with that. I just thought it would be nice to give her a title to show not only her, but everyone else how much she means to me.
@Brielle: You would think my sister would be mature enough to handle it, but she’s really not. She’s just not the type of person to make life easy for me, and when it comes to things that are about me, she tends to fly off the handle. My sister won’t be speaking at the wedding, since she is terrified of public speaking, so I was going to have my other girl speak anyways.
Thanks for the advice and the stories guys =)