(Closed) What would make you leave?

posted 10 years ago in Relationships
Post # 17
7774 posts
Bumble Beekeeper

Cheating and abuse. I would leave immediately, no questions asked.

I also think that if at any point, either of us just stopped caring whether it worked out or not then I would leave as well.

Post # 18
1820 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Totally did not even think of molestation!  Yes, obviously.  Hurting anyone – me, our kid, a perfect stranger… Gone.

Post # 19
447 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2009

The two main ones for me are cheating and abuse (of either me or our children, emotinally or physically). Another might be if I found out years into marriage that he had kept a huge secret from me, as in something that he should have told me before we got married. Addiction would only be a reason if he wasn’t willing to get help. Addiction can be overcome but only if one is wanting to change.

Post # 20
2495 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

Same with me and Fiance.  We actually talked about this and we both said that cheating and abuse would be the only circumstances where we would divorce each other.

I didn’t really think about molestation, but I would be OUT so fast under that situation too.  Oh my gosh that would be so terrible…

Ok… anyway, I am so, so glad that Fiance and I trust each other and know that we would never do anything like that.

Post # 21
10283 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

I’m with some of the PP’s, abuse and cheating! I was in a sort of abusive relationship before Fiance and I was miserable. I didnt really see that I was being abused but everyone else did. Thankfully I finally got it through my head. I would never put up with that shit again. As for cheating, Fiance has actually told me that if he felt the need to cheat on me, he would break up with me before doing it. He was cheated on in his past relationship and it really devastated him (and they were only together a few months ago). I’ve never cheated nor do I know if I’ve ever been cheated on but thats definitely something I wouldn’t put up with.

I would try to work through pretty much everything else. 


Post # 22
548 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

Abuse and cheating would do it for me.  I’d be willing to do counseling for other things, but those are non negotiable.  He knows that, but he wouldn’t anyway…it’s not the type of man he is.

Post # 23
1295 posts
Bumble bee

I would leave my SO if there was domestic violence.  I don’t stand for that but lucky his no that type of guy he as well as I grew up in a household like that and we both wouldn’t ever think about doing it..  If he cheated on me I wouldn’t leave him I know others would but I believe in second chances.  If he blew his second chance then yeah I’m out.  Although my SO knows all this I speak my mind so he knows the limit.  It’s interesting because his cousin married my now good friend and he was so physcially, mentally and emotionally abusive and cheated on her multiple times.  My SO said I know that if I was like that you would of left me a long time ago.  He knows me so well.

Post # 24
3586 posts
Sugar bee

Abuse, spending all our money, not being prudent with his money, putting us in debt and multiples cases of cheating. He’s not the type of man to do these things, though, but you never know. If he cheated once, I would stay. Not ashamed to say it either. If he had sex with the woman more than once, yeah, I’m gone. But that’s just me. As far as money- I don’t play about my money. I love him but if he lost his mind and went crazy with our money, I’d have to be outtie.

Post # 25
565 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

the only thing i’d leave for is cheating, violence, or drug usage.  or if he commited like a major felony and got serious jail time or something.  but i don’t see any of that happening.  🙂

Post # 26
2363 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: January 2012

I agree, those 3 A’s mentioned above.

Also since we’re not married, if I found out he did and hid something really big in his past, (accomplice to murder, gay encounters, rape) No no, I would bolt for the door!

Post # 27
191 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

Being unfaithful (emotionaly, or physicaly) or abuse (emotionaly or physicaly as well). Or substance abuse that he wasn’t willing to treat.

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