- 6 years ago
- Wedding: June 2012
Hi Bees! There is a situation that is bothering both my husband and I…..but more so me and I’d like some insight to what is REALLY going on here and what to do about it.
We have these friends who don’t really show us that they are really our friends these days. We’ve been friends with HIM for about 6 years, as long as we had started dating. He has been with HER for about 2.5 years…give or take. In the time that they have been dating we have barely seen THEM. In the beginning we saw them and hung out lots and we liked his gf at the time….now not so sure.
My husband had proposed to me. Friends, family and acquaintances congratulated us on facebook, email, text, phone calls but nothing from them. No congratulations or anything. When we set our wedding date a few weeks later we decided on a smaller wedding and only wanted to invite close family and friends. Don’t know why we did, but we thought to invite them, thinking they were good friends to us, even though we didn’t see eachother often.
I contacted HIM through facebook email to get their mailing address and he fb emailed me back with it. I was organizing birthday for my husband at the same restaurant as the year before and I invited them.
A couple of months later, I text HER to see if she wanted to come out for my bachelorette (because HE would be going to my husbands). She didn’t have my cell number in her phone and didn’t know who I was (my cell number was the same almost the entire time THEY were dating and we used to text eachother so how does she not have it?). Anyways, YES she was IN! THEY were actually excited for it. I told her that my Maid/Matron of Honor would be contacting her with all the info. She said she couldn’t wait.
A couple of weeks after that, SHE text me to say that they got the wedding invitation and they wanted to RSVP for the wedding. Great! My girls handled the bachelorette party so I hadn’t talked to THEM but she was confirmed. Then, I had to call them for something about the wedding. I called their house and HE talked my ear off, then after about 45 mins he asks if I want to talk to HER and I did. So we talked, and she actually in mid conversation started to not become attentive and then apologized to me because she was starting to “think” about something that happened and she was getting upset. They had recently broke up for whatever reason I don’t know, as it’s not my business, but she was apparently not over it. I consoled her from woman to woman and offered her someone to talk to if she ever wanted it or needed it. We ended the convo a bit after that and that was that. Life became busy and I guess they worked it out and got back together.
The week of our bachelor and bachelorette parties, I text HIM to see if he was going to my husbands and he said he should be able to go if he took the bottles back – meaning they were broke. The night of our bachelor and bachelorette parties, they were both confirmed and they both didn’t show. Surprised? No. Did they let us or our wedding party know they they weren’t coming? No. Pissed off? Yes. Then the weekend after our parties, we find out they went camping. Whatever, I guess.
Between then and our wedding, I said to my husband, how much you want to bet they THEY will no show at the wedding? He agreed and then said he’s over it, he’s over THEM and didn’t seem to care if they actually came or not because of everything that’s happened before.
The wedding day! Well, what have we here… THEY actually showed up to our wedding. Was actually nice to SEE them for the short time we got to really talk to them. We didn’t get much time to visit because we were the bride and groom and were being pulled every which way. But apparently THEY did with our other wedding guests. SHE was making friends with MY friends. So much so that SHE is now friends with a couple of them on facebook. SHE even went as far as texting my friend and wanted to make coffee plans with her. Is that not weird? Why is SHE making friends with MY friends but SHE doesn’t/THEY don’t be friends with my husband and I??
At the wedding reception, HE told my husband that SHE doesn’t really have any friends…….uhh… she can be my friend but she chooses not to. Then HE came up to me to told me that ever since my husband and I got engaged, that she has been putting the pressure on HIM to propose to her. Wow, if that wasn’t the bomb that just opened the wound then I dunno what is. Seriously? Is that why THEY don’t ever hang out, show up, call or text? Is there an underlying issue of…and I’d hate to say Jealousy…but could it be??
Through the entire time of wedding planning (which was nearly a year and a half) and all the status updates on facebook, we still got nothing from them. They never “liked” our statuses or commented our posts or anything. They never called us, or text us, never thought to see if we wanted to hang out. Occasionally, my husband would text HIM to say hi and see how they were but felt like it was never really reciprocated and it was always my husband who was the first one to call HIM or text HIM. Last night I had a girls night with my friend that SHE befriended at the wedding and I posted a status update and tagged my friend and SHE “liked” it. What the heck!?! So you NEVER like/comment on my stuff but the moment I’m with my best long-time girlfriend and you “like” my status. I’m really finding this whole situation fake! I don’t understand what their problem is. My friend that she befriended says that I should confront her about it, but I don’t know what to do.
What the heck is their deal? Is there something that I’m missing to all of this? What should I/we do about it?