(Closed) What would you consider OOT?

posted 7 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
3461 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I’ve never been invited to a rehearsal dinner just because I was Out of Town.  I’ve been to a lot of weddings, mostly all Out of Town (plane flight away, not simply a drive).  I’d say it depends whether folks are likely to need to get a hotel room or not for the night.  For me, I’d say no for 1 hour, yes for 2 hours.  But I’m sure others may make different cut offs.  You could also cut it off at whether it’s a drive or a flight away.

Post # 4
46604 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Even if they are from Out of Town, I see no obligation to invite them all to the rehearsal dinner, nor do I believe that most OOT  guests expect an invitation to the rehearsal dinner.

The rehearsal dinner is often hosted by the groom’s family to allow the wedding party and both immediate families to meet, eat and socialize after the rehearsal.

Resist the temptation to get carried away and do everything you read about online.

When people accept an invitation to an Out of Town wedding, they understand there are costs associated with that, including feeding themselves all meals except the wedding reception meal.



Post # 7
10366 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: September 2010

@napabridekelsey: you don’t have to invite Out of Town people. We actually made ours all family, not Out of Town. It was still a lot of people, but we made our own invite parameters and nobody was offended :-). I think opur guest list was exactly 35, come to think of it!

Post # 8
3241 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I would say anyone who lives/drives more than an hour way. Although I agree with others, you don’t have to invite them to the rehearsal. You can just have immediate family and the bridal party at the rehearsal dinner. If you wanted you could invite those you know will be in town that night out after the rehearsal dinner for dessert/coffee/drinks. But again, really there’s no obligation.

Post # 10
5494 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2011

For us Out of Town meant they were getting a hotel room for the night because it was too far to drive home. We have people that are about 1.5 hours away and we did not consider them out of town.  

Post # 11
3461 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Yep, I wouldn’t worry about inviting them.  I wasn’t even invited to my cousin’s where we were pretty close growing up (she has just me & my two siblings as cousins).  My sister was because her son was the ring bearer (and my parents were invited).  My brother & I weren’t offended, we get they had to make a cut off (and that while we were just 4, add in the groom’s cousins and it’s a lot) we just grabbed dinner together.

One thing that has been nice is when the bride/groom (usually just groom…brides are super busy) joins for a drink at the hotel everyone is at.  If you can squeeze that in, it’s a very nice touch.

Post # 12
3049 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: January 1991

I agree with other posters, I’ve never been invited to the rehearsal dinner just because I was Out of Town. I’ve only been invited when I was a very close friend. So, if you’re looking out for Out of Town guests, then I would say invite those who are at least 3 hours away. Maybe you can look at the hotel block and see who will actually be staying there Friday night. 1-2 hours away, I usually just drive the day of.

Post # 13
4371 posts
Honey bee

We did invite all of our Out of Town guests to the rehearsal dinner. I considered anyone who wasn’t actually in the greater area of the city we were in to be Out of Town. So that included people who were 1.5 hours away by car.

I don’t think there’s really a rule to it though. It was just what we decided to do.

Post # 14
55 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

I have been on both sides of this. I was invited to a wedding for my cousin. The wedding was about a 4 hour drive, and we got a hotel room for the stay. We were not invited to the rehearsal dinner, and we didn’t expect it. A lot of other family was there and we all went to dinner on our own. We had our own little party! 

Also, my own wedding is about a 2 hour drive from my house, so many people will be driving that far. We (my Future In-Laws and FH) decided that we would only invite people to the rehearsal dinner who were actually in the wedding. Everyone else can get dinner for themselves. 

Post # 15
1126 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Pretty much everyone on my guest list was from over 2 hours away.  My rehearsal dinner had 26 people (including Darling Husband and myself), and then we had a cocktail party afterwards at the restaurant for all the guests.  That way, the people in town the night before the wedding had something to do, but we didn’t have to buy everyone dinner and spend a fortune.  I think the guests were happy with it too, because they didn’t expect more than that.  So they all went out to dinner themselves and then met up with us.  We did have some hors d’oeurves available for those who just drove up and hadn’t eaten yet.

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