(Closed) What would you do?

posted 9 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
1042 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

Do you have anyone else in your wedding party besides your maid of honor and matron of honor, like bridesmaids? If you do, I would voice your concerns to another bridesmaid who can carry the message on to the maid of honor, because your concerns come across as being really valid to me but your maid of honor might not listen because she doesn’t think you should be involved in the planning, whereas someone else in the wedding party can voice those same concerns and perhaps be taken more seriously.

Otherwise…you are the bride, this party is being thrown for you and BFF really needs to stop and listen to what you are saying. I think that you need to speak up and tell BFF what you said here- you want to make sure your sister can attend, you don’t want to have to worry about anyone driving after drinking. Have you seen that episode of Scrubs where Carla tries to plan Elliot’s bachelorette party? Elliot ends up making all the decisions about the party and Carla plans it.

Whatever the reason is that your sister and your BFF don’t get along, right now it is not your problem, so don’t get involved in it. If either brings it up, you should simply point out that this is your wedding and YOU are the one getting married, and both people are special to you and you want them included, period.

Post # 4
3162 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

I had a similar issue as a bridesmaid in my friend’s upcoming wedding. The bridesmaids as a group had an email thread going last summer about handling the bachelorette party (most of the BMs are in the NY area or at least east coasters). The wedding is in Ohio, so we all agreed that the bachelorette would be in NY because it is too much to ask us to go to the midwest twice within a few months. The midwesterners would come east once, and we would go west once – everything is even. The MoH wasn’t helpful or accomodating, the bride wasn’t involved, and long story short, we didn’t end up doing anything because all attempts on our part to plan ahead of time were not listened to, so then there was last minute scrambling about doing something and there was no time or place that worked for everyone. I think, unless everyone is from the same area and no travel coordination is involved, the bride should be involved in the planning (unless she WANTS a surprise) and the MoH needs to involve everyone in the planning, or at the very least be forthcoming with plans and important info, so that most if not all the people the bride wants there can make it. After all, the whole point of doing a bachelorette party is so the bride can have a fun night out with the gals most important to her!

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