(Closed) What would you do?

posted 6 years ago in Relationships
  • poll: Would you tell his gf he's a cheating sack of scum?
    Tell her everything you know name and all. : (2 votes)
    8 %
    Tell her you know he has cheated but leave your friends name out of it. : (14 votes)
    58 %
    No, you'll be destroying a family and your friendship : (6 votes)
    25 %
    Other (explain) : (2 votes)
    8 %
  • Post # 3
    7770 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: July 2010

    That is a really tricky situation.  If it were me in her shoes, I would want to know.  Especially since it seems like so many other people (you, your friend, probably other people?) already know.  I wouldn’t care how I found out, I would want to be respected enough to have someone tell me.

    Post # 4
    5220 posts
    Bee Keeper

    @MrsDPal811:  this is going to be terrible advice, but if I had a friend who willingly and knowingly slept with someone who had a serious live in girlfriend, and who  was pregnant/recently gave to birth to their child… I would cease all close ties I had with that woman because I strongly believe in the “company you keep” type of thing. So protecting her would be the last thing I would be worried about.

    Otherwise, just be prepared for the fallout either way. If you tell, you risk becoming the ” bad guy” because, let’s face it– if she hasn’t left yet when presented with evidence, chances are your word against his won’t win out. If you don’t tell and it comes out that somehow you knew, had a ” feeling” or anything along those lines, she could feel betrayed. Only you know this couple and what you think the ramifications will be for telling/not telling. 


    Post # 5
    2419 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    I’ve been in this situation. I was sooo glad that I had a friend with enough guts to come and tell me what my ex was doing. Thankfully, there were no children invovled. But, her telling me what happened was the best thing that ever happened to me.

    Having said that, I think you should tell her.

    Post # 7
    808 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: February 2013

    @Mrs_Amanda:  +1


    what a horrible situation to be in!

    Post # 9
    1460 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    If I was in your shoes I probably wouldn’t tell becaue I don’t like to poke around in the personal business of others.  Chances are she has a pretty good idea that he’s cheating anyway since she’s caught him on the websites.  Maybe she’s just turning a blind eye to it so she won’t lose him completely.  

    I’ve found from past experience that a lot of women will stay with a man even when you show her hard evidence that he’s doing wrong.  🙁 

    Post # 11
    11419 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: May 2009

    If you decide to tell the girlfriend, I would be very careful to share as fact only the facts that you have and to present everything else as an allegation that is being made by someone else. For example, you do not know for a fact that this woman’s boyfriend had an affair with your high-school frend, only that your friend told you that he did. I’m not advising you not to tell her (I actually think you should) or not to believe the allegations (because they likely are true), just that you have to be sure to present facts as facts and the rest as the testimony of another person.

    Post # 12
    1583 posts
    Bumble bee


    @MrsDPal811:  Don’t get involved but get your SO away from him. Cheating is contagious!

    The topic ‘What would you do?’ is closed to new replies.

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