(Closed) What Would You Do?

posted 6 years ago in Etiquette
Post # 3
5660 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I agree that brides usually do that stuff on purpose. But, maybe they didn’t and they are assuming he knows you are invited as well. Honestly just have him ask. He can be polite about it. He can say he understands people have budgets, he just wants to confirm that the invitation is for him alone. Don’t worry about them being embarrassed or feeling awkward IMO, if you invite someone without their practically wife, you should be prepared for people to question it. Its not like you are some random girl he wants to bring along and he’s asking if he can have a guest for fun.

Post # 4
1066 posts
Bumble bee

@PurpleLonghorn:  Nah..surely a mistake.You have met both of them. You have been together 6 years. I would get my man to question it politely. I asked my man about this and he said if it was his friend he would feel comfortable enough to ask the question.

Post # 5
5475 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I would have Fiance ask his friend (if they are close enough that he would feel comfortable), and if you are not invited together as a couple then I would expect him to decline the invitation.

Post # 6
4284 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

Don’t ask. Maybe when he RSVP’s they will ask why you aren’t coming if it really was a mistake. I personally didn’t invite people unless I had room for their +1.

Post # 7
9916 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

Have your fiance text his friend, or message him on facebook, and say, “Yo bro, I got your invitation, but Serephina’s name wasn’t on it.  Is it cool if she comes?”  

Post # 8
11747 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’m generally against asking people about bringing dates, but it really does seem like it could be a mistake (or they’re just being rude by not inviting you – since it’s ridiculous you wouldn’t be invited since you’re his fiance).  If he wants to go and doesn’t want to go alone, just ask politely.  If he doesn’t want to go, just rsvp no and don’t ask.

Post # 9
317 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@PurpleLonghorn:  I’ve had to deal with this before, twice.  The way I have handled it, is I’ve had my fiance contact the person who sent the invite to verify whether it was done in error.  If it was not, i.e. I was intentionally not invited, my fiance has sent regrets and we send a gift and intentionally sign that it is from both of us.  

My motto is, especially when it  comes to weddings, is that if a couple can’t acknowledge my relationship then I sure won’t celebrate theirs. 

Post # 10
5956 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2018

Well, I’m an old school kind of lady, and if a friend botched the invitation to her wedding, and my husband was excluded, I would decline to attend.  If she’s brazen enough to call and ask why, I would explain that I have no desire to attend an event without my husband. 

I get that mistakes happen, but in the vein of “You Only Get Married Once” I encourage brides to remember that door swings both ways, and it’s important to pay close attention to those little details, like not inviting someone’s husband/wife.

Post # 12
2335 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

If you just got their invite, it sounds like there’s a good chance that you will be married by the time their wedding rolls around.  I would decline and, if asked, have your husband explain that he didn’t want to attend a wedding without his wife.

Post # 13
3039 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Since you’re engaged, I think it’s very strange you were not included! I’m just dealing with my own invitations and even though I don’t want the Fiance of my childhood bff to be there – I will invite him just on the grounds that they intend to marry. It sucks to have him there, but if that’s what required for her to come, so be it. So, in this case I do think your Fiance should ask.

Post # 14
847 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2015

@PurpleLonghorn:  Mmm…I’d ask. But I guess if they’re having a really small, intimate wedding  maybe they aren’t giving anyone a plus one? You don’t have any real connection to the bride and groom so maybe they figured you wouldn’t mind? I don’t know. I don’t think you should be mad if you’re not invited (which you don’t seem to be) but you should ask your Fiance to call and ask. 

Post # 15
8882 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

I agree it’s strange that you weren’t included on the invite. Maybe they have a very small budget and had to cut back?  Or maybe it was a mistake.  Let Fiance handle it.

Post # 16
310 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@PurpleLonghorn:  I did this by accident!  I sent an invite to my friend and her boyfriend and a separate one to her mom, who is close to our family.  My friend sent me an email (we had email RSVP’s) that her and her mom would be in attendance.  I called her a couple days later to see if her boyfriend was coming and she said that he wasn’t on the invite so she assumed he wasn’t invited.  I felt terrible and rectified the situation and he ended up coming.  I think if the bride/groom did this by accident they will fix the situation when they see the RSVP. If they don’t then unfortuantely, you were likely cut from their guest list.  

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