(Closed) What would you do?

posted 5 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: What would you do in this situation?
    Just don't send him an invite and hope he forgets? :-P : (31 votes)
    63 %
    Send him one : (11 votes)
    22 %
    Hope he doesn't bring it up again! : (7 votes)
    14 %
  • Post # 3
    992 posts
    Busy bee

    @happilyeveraftergirl:  if you had no real intentions of inviting him prior to him inserting his opinion, then dont invite him. you are under no obligation at all. politely say we are having a family close friends only wedding and leave it there. but dont think that it wont be brought backup by him because it likely will, dont ignore it. address it swiftly so homeboy doesnt think he is coming. 

    Post # 4
    4047 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: January 2014

    I agree with the PP. If you weren’t planning to invite him before, don’t bother now.

    Post # 5
    46613 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    He is being very rude asking for  an invitation. I would not reward bad behavior.

    Tell him you have not finalized the invitation list yet, that you hope to be able to invite all our friends, but that there will be a limit to the number of guests you can host.


    Post # 6
    1992 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    I would probably invite him, if I had extra room.  Since you still keep in contact, it seems like you are somewhat friends still, and if your best friend truly has no problem with it, then why not? I do agree that its rude to ask for an inventation though, but I would probably look over it.

    Post # 7
    10293 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper

    Don’t send him an invitation.  If he is bold enough to ask directly, just say that you are having a small wedding or that you haven’t finalized the guest list. 

    Post # 8
    7679 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @happilyeveraftergirl:  You say you are “semi-friends”. I didn’t invite semi-friends to my wedding, in fact I had to cut a few friends from the guest list.

    If you’re sure you’re not going to invite him, say something like “Sorry but we can only invite closest friends so we won’t be able to invite you”. If you’re not sure and want to leave the option open, say the guest list isn’t finalised yet. Either way, I agree with other posters that it’s rude of him to ask. and you’re under no obligation to invite him.

    Post # 9
    9954 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    Etiquette Snob here… lol

    Asking / Inquiring about an Invite is ALWAYS being forward / RUDE

    I’d only include him now IF he was indeed on your Original Guest List and you have the room…

    If he was a MAYBE… then I’d be more prone to move him to the NOT INVITED LIST strictly because of his lack of Manners

    Sorry… that is just the way I operate

    Those who are most polite get rewarded… those who are not… don’t.

    Hope this helps,


    Post # 10
    841 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    @happilyeveraftergirl:  I wouldn’t want to invite him purely because he asked for an invite. That is so rude…

    Post # 11
    2600 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: October 2010

    @happilyeveraftergirl:  He doesn’t strike me as particularly “nice.” Nice people wait to be invited…they don’t invite themselves.

    If this is a person you would like to invite, then send him an invitation. If not, then write him back and tell him that you’re having a very small wedding and unfortunately can’t invite everyone you would like.

    Post # 12
    5955 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: April 2013

    Take the fact that he asked out of it – would you invite him otherwise?  If not, then don’t invite him.  If yes, then invite him.  

    If you aren’t going to invite him (sounds like you are leaning that way) just let him know that you’re really sorry but you weren’t planning to invite him as you aren’t that close.

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