(Closed) What would you do?

posted 3 years ago in Family
Post # 2
581 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 2011

KristenD9:  Is there no way you could dropped off at the airport and drive back with them? I don’t see why it would upset his dad but if it would I see that as the only solution in which everyone wins…

Post # 3
3260 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

KristenD9:  I’m with BtoR: How about call his parents and make plans to all go to the airport, and then go out together for a late dinner, or appies/drinks, whatever?  Or plan a whole family night if you think he’d rather be in his home.  Actually – you could plan that with his parents, and it would be a good way for you to bond with them, and show them you want to iclude them in your life with your FI (even if you are already close with them, still a great idea).  Put on his favourite movie.  Make some of his favourite snacks – plan that together with his mom and/or dad, who will make what.  His mom can make whatever his favourite treat was when he was a kid, you can make whatever his favourite thing is that you make.  It’ll be a whole awesome bonding thing for all of you together.  Stay the night there (yay drinking! lol) then you and he can head to your place after breakfast with the fam.  You get to see him right away.  You aren’t taking him away from his parents.  You are letting him spend some time with all the most important people in his life.  You probably get a free home cooked breakfast.  I really don’t see a down side.  Okay, one down side but it isn’t PG, and you’ll be all the more excited for it 12 hours later.

btw “my dad might be upset” could be code for “I really want to spend some time with my parents, because I miss them too, and we’ll be married soon, and have our whole lives together, but I don’t want to hurt your feelings, because I love you and miss you and [some more mushy stuff] kay bai.”

Post # 4
67 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2016

KristenD9:  My FI is in the army too so this dilemma happens to us a lot too. 

If I’m understanding it right his dad will be spending a few days with him and then flying home with him (Which is where you’ll be seeing him). In this case his dad will have already had time with him over those few days so I would think its a bit greedy of him to be pissed at you for coming to the airport. So I would go to the airport and pick him up. 

As an alternative  though I agree with other posters that you could go to the airport and drive home with them all. 

Post # 6
3260 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

KristenD9:  I think, if the relationship is strained, it’s even more valuable to try to do this all together.  It shows them you respect them, and their family, and their relationship with their son.   It creates an opportunity to connect in a more familial way, and as adult peers.  I’d suggest it.  They have “it’s good to be late” as a way out, and then you can say “Ok well let’s all do something next week; maybe brunch?” Try not to make it adversarial.  If they do, that’s their deal.  If they won’t be the adults, you do it until they come around.  I really think this is an opportunity to improve the relationship, and that is important.  Remember, they will be grandparents to tie children; it’s worth investing some seat equity in this.  When in doubt, do the right thing. 

  • This reply was modified 3 years, 5 months ago by  Duncan.

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