(Closed) What would you do?

posted 6 years ago in Married Life
Post # 31
Member
2091 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I would not live there… I was closer with my sis when we lived farther apart. She does not respect boundaries and it has gotten to the point where we don’t speak. I stay away from her and her children. I am very disappointed in her. I NEVER in a million years thought that we would not be close. We were like best friends.

 You and your husband need space of your own. Sometimes people are more respectful when they don’t know the little details of your life and have no choice but to mind their own business. It is a lot easier to get along when you only see each other at celebrations, etc. Some families can live close to each other and it is fine, but that is often not the case. I think that your intuition is speaking to you. Something is off, even if you cannot pinpoint it. Good luck either way.

Post # 32
Member
2692 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

I love rightnextdoor to my ils as well so I understand your concerns.  Boy do I get it.  But living so close has it’s perks and it’s downsides… however we benefit more and there are more positives than negatives so I am happy with the arrangement.  But omg they are so close LOL.

I guess you have to really decide how you feel about having family always at your door and up in your business.  Cuz that is how it will most likely be.   if that will cause issues (remember the show everybody loves raymond)… you might as well seel and buy elsewhere.

Post # 33
Member
7368 posts
Busy Beekeeper

So any updates?   Personally, the way my relationship is with Future Sister-In-Law now, I wouldn’t mind.  Establish boundaries about visits or “drop ins” early on. And make it clear your not drop of hat future babysister.

But if you have had issues with them in the past I can understand your seconding guessing. If you both are already questioning boundaries then sure look else where. But then you’re dealing with strangers, you don’t know what kind of neighbors you’ll get.

I agree with PP, of course the laws would eventually building on it, I don’t care what they claimed in advance. As you now know, everyone has their own definitions of what to have family discussions about. Because you checked in with you SIL first doesn’t not mean your in laws are under any obligations to “talk” this over with you.

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