Post # 1
What would you do with your gifts if your marriage ended in less than six months? Not mine, but a friend recently decided her marriage wasn’t working and called it quits less than six months after they said “I do.” I was under the impression that gifts were supposed to be returned to the original giver (or an appropriate monetary amount if the gift was not returnable/used) — but I know this is antiquated. I would never ask for a gift back, but she’s wondering what to do in this circumstance – even if it would be a big financial hit for her and her soon-to-be-ex.
Post # 2
I think gifts should only be returned if the actual wedding never happens, like if the engagement is called off. The wedding actually happened, so she doesn’t need to return gifts in case of divorce.
Post # 3
- Wedding: July 2015 - Harare, Zimbabwe
No, the wedding is already over, so keep the gifts. Unless someone bought something outrageously expensive like a car or something…
Post # 4
I’ve never understood this. The gifts were for the wedding – they got married. What are people going to do with a returned used toaster or a set of someone else’s china pattern? And for that matter, how long do you have to stay married before you can feel okay keeping the gifts? If I had a loved one going through a divorce, getting my gift back would be the last thing on my mind.
Post # 5
I can see both sides to the situation. I would think it would be good to get rid of all the reminders of the failed marriage, which would include the wedding gifts staring me in the face. Plus, the guests would probably appreciate getting back their potentially pricey gifts. On the flip side, returning ALL the gifts might be a big task, especially if you’ve already used some of them or if you are busy with the split.
Post # 6
I would feel extremely awkward if someone tried to return a guest for me. If I cared about someone enough to attend their wedding and select a gift for them the last thing I’d want them to do would be worry about returning gifts on top of the stress of Separating
Post # 7
They got married, so I think they should keep the gifts. The people who gave them to the couple love the couple, and definitely understand that divorce is a hard, messy thing, so adding more stress/worry/awkwardness to their pot is just unecessary. What your friend needs to worry about right now is sorting out and surviving everything that divorce entails, not how to give back the used toaster her uncle gave them 6 months ago. I’m sure everyone understands- life is very messy!
Post # 8
I agree with the comments posted — was just curious to see that the Bee thought. She keeps pulling up some line about Kim Kardashian gave a big donation to charity in the names of her guests instead of returning gifts… and I keep saying that Kim Kardashian has the disposable income to be able to do that…
It’s a crappy situation, and this idea is just making things harder, I think!
Post # 9
If it is something that hasn’t been used, I’d return it, and I’d return cash. Those gifts are meant towards building a household together and if my household is not longer in need of a food processor because it’s no longer a household, then I should return the food processor. If it’s been used, it’s much more grey area.
its important to keep in mind that wedding gifts are not in honor of the wedding. They’re in honor of the marriage.
Post # 10
6 months? I’m assuming I would have used every one of those gifts and spent the cash/checks to buy larger items. It’s hard to return part of a sofa, to each of 10 guests. Anything I wouldn’t plan on using would probably already been exchanged or gotten store credit for. They may be a few odd things that I’d never use and couldn’t return, that I’d be more than happy to return to the giver.