Post # 1
My Fiance just called me and said he just saw his cousin’s husband kissing another woman. He doesn’t know what to do…
It’s so disheartening.
Now that many of us on here are heading for marriage have you ever wondered how many married people are actually monogamous? I know couples that have dealt with infidelity and others that have open marriages. I said to Fiance, jokingly, “I guess we’re going to be one of the few monogamous married couples out there”. It’s not really funny though.
Post # 2
I would definitely confront the husband, and then the cousin. I don’t know, I hate cheating and I hate cheaters. My brother is polyamorous though and I know some couples are totally cool with Their partner being with someone else Romantically and physically. If it’s consensual that’s fine but if it’s not the cousin needs to know.
Post # 3
Depending on how close he is with his cousin and her husband I would call him out on it. Some may disagree with that but otherwise he is stuck with this information. No one wants to hold onto that kind of news. He saw her husband kissing another woman, so it’s time to out him.
Post # 4
MrsWe: Your husband should tell his cousin. Do it casually, as if maybe it was something which was acceptable, in case she’s ok with it or there is some innocent explanation. But either way, she deserves to be informed. Let her decide how to handle it.
It makes no sense to tell the husband, because that forewarns him.
Post # 5
MrsWe: Well, I would tell them both. I became aware my friend’s husband ( also my longtime friend, and rather closer than her actually ) was cheating and I told him that I knew and that I was going to tell her the next day, so it was up to him to tell her that night if he wanted to be first .
I hated being in the position and I hated doing it , but I wasn’t going to be part of any secret keeping of that sort , so I felt I had to tell, but also that I was going to be open to both about it .
I have remained good friends with both, though their marriage ended, mostly because of his cheating.
Post # 6
Always a tough one but I don’t think I could keep this from someone. Maybe give the husband a chance to come clean before you tell her? Eitherway, it’s a crappy situation.
Post # 7
I say tell the cousin. Maybe confront the husband first, but I would definitely tell her. All I can think of, is that I would want someone to tell me.
Post # 8
Fiance is closer to the husband than his cousin. They were actually hanging out at an event together and Fiance said he happened to walk outside and saw them kissing and he said he just stood there in disbelief and then the 2 of them saw him and they jumped back away from one another and Fiance said all 3 of them just stood there staring at one another with shocked faces for a few seconds and then they all just walked away and didn’t say anything to one another the rest of the evening.
I’m going to ask Fiance if he’s decided what he’s going to do, he was still in shock and not sure what to do when he first told me what happened.
Post # 9
It’s awful when someone finally separates from their spouse over cheating and discovers they are literally the last to know. Then they have to deal with the humiliation & betrayal of realizing everyone else has known and pitied her, even during the time she thought her marriage was good, but no-one came forward to warn her. They obviously don’t have an open relationship or the husband wouldn’t have acted so guilty. Please tell the cousin, she deserves to know even if it hurts her. The husband already knows he’s been caught out & he’s undoubtedly hoping your Fiance will keep some alleged Bro code and not tell- in other words, he’s counting on your FI’s complicity in all this. It’s a horrible, shitty position for him to put your Fiance in and yet he hasn’t even manned up enough to talk to your FI- and I’m guessing he hasn’t talked to his wife about it either.
Post # 10
Ohhavok: If I was the wife I would want to know as well, it’s such a difficult spot to be in because what if the husband denies it then Fiance will look like the bad guy or the person that has brought conflict into their marriage uuugh.
I think they are on FI’s side of the guestlist for our wedding.
Post # 11