- 2 weeks ago
- Wedding: June 2018
Not too long ago I posted about being nervous about TTC and I was glad to see it is totally normal! Now that Darling Husband and I have discussed TTC a lot more, I found myself so torn on what to do.
Darling Husband and I have a trip planned for this upcoming spring with another couple. We don’t typically vacation much and we hardly ever go on trips with friends or other couples, most of the time is family or just us. We’re pretty excited about this trip, everything we have planned is right up our alley and it’s our first vacation since our honeymoon too (not counting a few weekend getaways). This is also a trip where there is ample opportunity to hit up some really cool bars and have a few drinks and check out the sights.
So, knowing we’re going with friends and there will be drinking (not in excess, but socially) I want to enjoy myself and have a good time, but I am torn because Darling Husband and I are also ready to TTC. I’m sure I would have a good time regardless, but I know I would feel a little left out by not being able to drink due to being pregnant. This trip will most likely be our last big vacation for a little while so I want to make the most of it. I’ve expressed this to Darling Husband and he is (rightfully so) a little bummed since we absolutely wouldn’t mind me being pregnant now, but bless his heart, he said he understands if I want to delay our timeline because of the trip since I’m the one actually pregnant and in the situation of going to a few bars, it does affect me more than him. Cue me going back and forth about wondering how big of a deal it is if I’m pregnant on this trip or not because I wouldn’t mind being pregnant now/within the next few months BUT I also want to fully enjoy our trip (aka having the option of drinking when we go out if I wanted to) Also, I can’t deny that our “ideal” timeline of when we would like to have a child plays a role in this as well because *ideally* we would love to have a baby in the spring/summer (which I know is out of our control but there is nothing wrong with discussing that “ideal” timeline) which would mean TTC now-ish.
Currently, Darling Husband and I are in the semi-NTNP boat where we are okay preventing pregnancy until the trip, but if I happen to get pregnant we would still be thrilled. We are in no rush to get pregnant, but do genuinely have the desire to start our family. I know I’m overthinking this, but bees – what would you do? If you were truly in no rush to get pregnant, would you have no issue delaying actively TTC until this trip? Would you go ahead and actively TTC and if you’re pregnant than oh, well you just can’t drink? Just curious on what you would do, especially from bees who have felt similarly that they were ready to TTC but still wanted to do one more thing before they got pregnant.
ETA: We also have very close friends dealing with 2 years of infertility, so we know in those situations making a decision like this would be a no brainer to do whatever it takes to TTC immediately. Also, please don’t go calling me selfish or anything for wanting to keep the possibility open to drink on this trip, I have every right to want to do that before I can’t for 9 months.