(Closed) What would you do … 2nd time something is missing …

posted 9 years ago in Home
Post # 3
853 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2009

what language does the housekeeper speak? can you get someone to translate? make a big fuss in front of her about the scarf, then have someone translate to her: “have you seen my scarf” it looks like [insert description] and is extremely important to me. i put it [insert location] here last week. have you seen it?”

who knows, it might miraculously reappear thenext time she’s there.

Post # 4
272 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Definitely find someone who can talk to the housekeeper.  It could all be a misunderstanding.  Or, who knows, you might be right.  But don’t jump to conclusions just yet.

Post # 7
606 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2009

What does your fiancee think?

If you are that confident that she did it, I would say that you and your Fiance should look for a different housekeeper. You don’t want to make too big of a stink because with her working on the whole family’s houses, you don’t want her to quit working for everyone and then if no one believes you they think you’re a jerk/crazy.

I would definitely bring it up to her, with both of you present so she knows it’s not just you attacking her and understands that it is a serious matter. Let her know if was in there before she cleaned it and you want to know “Where she put it.”

I’m sorry, but this is serious… what if that had been an heirloom or something? This is no joke.

Post # 8
2470 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

This is one time that I would TOTALLY be passive aggressive (its what a lot of stores do in loss prevention too). Find someone who can communicate with her and either approach it one of two ways:

1- “Have you seen my scarf? It looks like -insert specific details-. I am quite sure I left it here the other day, perhaps you may have seen it as you were cleaning the other day?”


2- (comment on her appearance or someone else around you’s appearance) and say “I just got a scarf that would look great with what you have on – it looks like ‘this’. Let me go get it” go to where it was and come back and say “hmm… I can’t find it, perhaps you have already seen it though?”

When people hear stuff about what they have taken/want to take it shows that you’re already on to them and they will give up.

If she doesn’t budge, it is time for whomever she reports to to speak with her privately about the matter without being accusatory. Really, they can bring up the fact that she cleans and should keep an eye out for certain things if others report them missing – she should never say “I don’t know where something is” her response should be “I will look and help find it”

Side note — is it imperative she have access to the closet/room where your stuff is kept. If it is not part of her daily cleaning schedule, I would suggest getting a lock that she does not have access to and specifically letting her know that it is not part of her job description to go in to that closet/room/dresser/chest/what have you.

Keep us posted!

Post # 9
2765 posts
Sugar bee

The only way to know for sure is to leave something valuable out and see if she takes it…

Post # 10
407 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

have you considered a “nanny cam”? That way if she is taking something, perhaps you could catch her on film?

Post # 11
5993 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: May 2010

has anyone else in the various families had issues with stuff going missing???   is there anyone else that has access (is Fiance sister??)


Post # 12
14186 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2009

Is she hired by an agency? If so, you can talk to the agency and see if there have been any complaints.

Can you buy a decoy scarf, set it out, then nannycam it? I totally would just for ONE day. I also like the idea of telling her you need it, maybe she misplaced it? Has she seen it? you’re so upset, your mom gave it to you, blah blah blah. maybe she’ll be kind and return it at the next visit. IF NOT, fire her sorry stealing butt. You don’t need a thief in your house.

Granted, a lot of times, I go “OMG IT”S BEEN STOLEN” and I find it in the most unexpected places, even tho i SWORE it was in the place I said i left it.

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