(Closed) What would you do

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2313 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I’d ask around a little more. Very seldom do people tell you things that have no basis to them whatsoever. There’s nothing in it for them to do so.

Post # 5
Member
2313 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

@Gingersnap:

Hmmm. I would probably give your Fiance the benefit of the doubt but keep your ears out for anything that might confirm it. Is this something that, if it DID happen and he didn’t tell you would be the kind of thing he legimitately might have forgotten to tell you, or is the sort of thing he would NOT want you to know?

I always prefer to give the benefit of the doubt to the person I’m closest to, but I’d have to consider if the other person did have any motive for telling me this and be wary.

Post # 7
Member
277 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 2010

I’d say trust your gut instinct…. it sounds like you think he’s lying…

having said that, it’s very difficult to give an opinion based on so few details…

Post # 9
Member
1645 posts
Bumble bee

It sounds like she doesn’t have any reason to try and stir the pot. I’m sure she was just mentioning it casually, assuming you KNEW about it. Honestly? It sounds like you were lied to–twice.

Post # 11
Member
1851 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2012

🙁 Bummer. Does he think that you would have been mad/upset about it if you knew she was at dinner with them? Maybe he just wanted to avoid hurt feelings over something innocent. If you would’ve been completely fine with it however (and he knew it) then it’s really fishy that he didn’t mention it. I wouldn’t trust it at all. It sucks that he didn’t just come clean about it when you asked him, now you know that he will lie straight to your face. Men! I don’t really have any advice other than you need to let him know that you are aware he lied to you and don’t back down if he starts trying to make it out like you are in the wrong. Whether he says “I can’t believe that you didn’t trust me!” or “I really didn’t remember! (This was only a few months ago)” or “I knew that you’d act like this if I told you!” (because if that was the case, he shouldn’t have had dinner with her in the first place). It makes me so aggravated when people lie.

Post # 12
Member
1135 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2009

I don’t think you sound jealous.  I think you sound like a woman whose boyfriend lied to her–a few times.  I think you need to talk to him again, tell him you KNOW she was there, and you KNOW he lied to you about it, and why does he feel the need to do that?  Try to get down to the bottom of what’s going on here–I can’t imagine he’d lie for fun.  He must think he’s got a good reason.  You should definitely find out what it is.  I’m sorry :(.

Post # 13
Member
1645 posts
Bumble bee

@Gingersnap: If that’s how they broke up, then it’s extremely awkward that she comes around occasionally. I get the friends-with-the-roommate thing, but if I were her I wouldn’t want anything to do with either of you!

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