(Closed) What would you do?

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
14496 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Actually I would buy the dress for her.  Make it a bonding moment for the two of you.  She is your back up and I think buying the dress and having some girltime would make the transition easy.

Post # 5
Member
6394 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2011

I think paying for part of the dress is fair to everyone, and then if you wanted to do a little something extra for her outside of the wedding so no one’s feelings get hurt, you definitely could. If you do pay for her dress, I wouldn’t tell the other BMs, though!

Post # 6
Member
51 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

Yeah I think I would pay for part of if not all of the dress for her.  She’s already doing you a favor of being a last minute bridesmaid.  Good luck!

Post # 7
Member
2463 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

i know you feel you want to be fair, but are the bridesmaids really going to talk to each other about how much the dress cost for each of them? if you want to buy the dress for her, or if you want to pay part of it, that’s totally a sweet thing to do, but i don’t think you need to worry about what all the bridesmaids will think. unless it’s common in your group of friends to talk about how much things cost, they probably won’t know how much each person paid. i helped a couple of my bridesmaids out with the cost of the dress, and no one knew anything about it bc i was discrete about how i handled it, and they didn’t talk about it to each other

Post # 8
Member
1843 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Does the Bridesmaid or Best Man who backed out, by chance, have the dress and you could exchange it for the correct size?

If not, I would suggest either paying for her dress completely or paying the $95 so it costs the same as the other maids.  If it were me, I would appreciate the money being paid for upfront more than I would appreciate a “better” gift later on.

Post # 9
Member
4137 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

@milesbella:agree completely!

Post # 11
Member
1498 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

I would pay the difference. But I wouldn’t share any of this (whatever you decide) witht he other BMs!

Post # 12
Member
1890 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

If I were you, I’d pay the difference in price.  I am helping one of my BMs with the dress cost because it’s important to me that she is in my wedding.  If you have the funds for it, then pay for the whole thing, but I think it’s perfectly reasonable to ask that she pay $70 for it and you shouldn’t feel bad about it.

Post # 13
Member
6893 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

I would pay the difference.

I’m a firm believer in equality when at all possible (lol) and I think that paying for her whole dress will get back to your other BMs and cause drama, and I feel like you’re going above and beyond with the third option. So I’d definitely just pay the difference and express your gratitude that she is able to be there on your big day. Deal with the gifts when it gets to that point. 🙂

Post # 15
Member
384 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I would pay the difference but not the whole amount. Because that would not go over too well if the old Bridesmaid or Best Man found out that you not only paid for her dress but a price even more expensive than hers.

From what you posted previously she sounds like a selfish girl and would look at it that way. “Why not just pay for my dress if she really wanted me in the wedding?! But now she is paying for part of the dress of my replacement. Maybe she didnt want me in the wedding to begin with”

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