(Closed) What would you do?

posted 7 years ago in Dress
Post # 3
247 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

If you go, you need to be ready for her to try to control you again. Honestly, I don’t know how to prepare for that. I’ve been dealing with my sister for 26 years and I still can’t get through a conversation with her without wanting to bang my head against a wall.

If you feel confident that you can communicate clearly, directly to the salesperson, what you’re looking for, and if you feel confident that you can say “no” to your mom, then maybe you should go. But her comment about being a brat is just such an unpleasant thing to say, I’m not sure it would be good for you.

That free wedding dress wouldn’t be free. You’ve already put in a downpayment of feeling awful. You can either try to recoup, or cut your losses.

Post # 4
285 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2012

I think it’s not so much that she’s trying to control you, but more concerned about you being controlled. In your last post about the dress you mentioned she was upset because you said your fiance wouldn’t like that much cleavage. I think your mom is concerned that it’s not really YOU who wants that but him. Not saying this is really the case at all but it sounds like that is her worry. Plus, if she’s a fashionable girl she’s probably worried that you’ll look frumpy or ruin the look of the dress. She’s probably never seen how well they can alter these things to look like they were made that way. Go with her, don’t lock her out just because you have different tastes. And people who pay for things do get to attach strings, if you don’t want them then you can’t accept the gift. 

Post # 5
2442 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

Can you ask her on the phone if you will be “allowed” to modify a dress that you feel shows too much cleavage?  Or have any other modifications done for that matter.  If she says yes, then go.  If she says no, say no thanks and don’t go. 

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