Post # 1
I’m having some trouble figuring out what to do about this situation! My Fiance asked one of his friends that lives in Florida to be a Groomsmen back in November and he said yes. Well during this year him and his wife have split up and there is a kid involved. So he is going through a lot, but my Fiance has tried to get a hold of him since the end of May and he isn’t answering the phone or returning his calls or texts. Fiance has tried every month since and has spoken to ex co-workers to see if he is doing all right and if he is still around. He is, but will not get back to Fiance. Problem is that I already bought him his plane ticket to KS and he did agree to be a Groomsmen, but I don’t know what to do. We are going to be needing to get measurements the end of August and I really want to get my programs printed, but we are still waiting to see if he pops back up. I just sent his invitation in the mail with a note saying we were needing to know, but should I just give up on him and assume he won’t be here. I’m afraid if I do that then he may show up! My Fiance is really upset with the fact that he won’t even return calls and such, but is even more upset because he misses his friend and I know it would mean alot for him to be in our wedding. I guess I’ll just wait a little longer and hope that he gets in touch with him in the next few weeks!!
Post # 3
hopefully his life will settle down and he will get in touch. all you can do is keep trying. i hope he gets back to you.
Post # 4
Uh oh, I’m sorry! I would give the guy a little longer — it’s probably hard for him to process wedding stuff when he’s going through the middle of a divorce (obviously, that’s not your fault!). Hopefully, he will respond and let you two know either way, but if you get to the point of no return, I would say move on without him. And if he happens to contact you after that point, let him know that you couldn’t hold off on planning any longer but you would still be honored if he would attend the wedding. Good luck!
Post # 5
Do you have an understanding male friend/brother/cousin willing to "stand in" in case?
Post # 6
Eeks! I would wait a little longer also and in the meantime think of a backup, as in someone else to fill his spot. I am sure he is going through a lot but I wonder why it has been so hard for him to just give your Fiance a quick phone call back. Maybe he is overwhelmed and looking for the right time to back out of the bridal party? If you guys get in touch with him, you might want to leave that option open since he is going through so much.
Post # 7
I would leave him yet another voicemail and send an email saying something like this: I understand you are going through a lot in your life right now and I wish you nothing but the best. When I asked you to be a groomsman I was sincere and would still like for you to stand with me on my wedding day. Since I have not heard back from you in X months, I am assuming things have changed and you would no longer like to be in the wedding party. If I am wrong, please write back or call me by X Date, otherwise I will gladly send you an invitation as a guest. All the best, X.
Post # 8
Thanks ladies for all the great advice! We actually won’t need to get a backup or stand in if he doesn’t get back to us, because I only have 2 girls standing up with me and Fiance was having 3, so if we don’t hear from him it won’t mess things up that way! I’m just more upset that he hasn’t called Fiance back!! Our main concern of course is that he is doing okay. Fiance has said to assume he isn’t coming, but I’m still holding out for him!! Thanks again ladies!!